Bad Writer!

No, not that kind of bad writer, though lord knows there's enough of those
around. ;) This idea is blatantly borrowed from the utterly hilarious Bad Kitty
and Bad Horsie lists. The idea is to come up with phrases that you, as a writer
(or hey, even as a reader!), should write on the blackboard 100 times and
then never do again...but probably will. Any of these sound familiar...?

SECTION #1: WRITING

Writing In General

  • A dictaphone is no substitute for writing things down where other people can read them, no matter how funky it is.
  • Crossovers are never good if you can't explain why the groups have never met before. It also helps to have an explanation as to how they're meeting now.
  • Cutting one's fingernails to sharp points and painting them red makes it hard to type -- so I will not do that again.
  • I cannot hang from my toes like Hank can -- and I will remember that next time.
  • If a story goes over 18 parts, then it just might be too long.
  • If I am writing a series, I must plot the series out before I attempt to write it in installments for posting to newsgroups or archives.
  • If I make an obscure reference, I will explain it clearly and concisely.
  • I promise not to cross over into any more fandoms -- even IF Buffy Summers could salvage the entire Summers Clan's reputation...
  • I shouldn't "base" a character on someone from real life. If she ever reads the story, she's gonna figure out how I feel about her...
  • It is not nice to steal other writers' ideas. Therefore, I will only steal from the ones I know I can outrun.
  • I will actually finish at least one of my projects before starting six others.
  • I will allow a minimum of two hours for research, not the twenty minutes I had originally envisioned.
  • I will always write in pencil, not pen. That way I can make changes quicker and it will not become illegable after spilling red Kool-Aid all over it. (Whew! What a relief!)
  • I will do all the things on this list -- the fact that this is not humanly possible is not an excuse.
  • I will finish ALL of the (book/story/series), not just the fun parts.
  • I will finish that story that's been on the computer for three years.
  • I will finish the first story in the series before going to the second.
  • I will finish the original story before starting the sequel.
  • I will go at least FIVE chapters between introducing new characters.
  • I will keep in mind that The Common People are about The Common People and that ordinary folks don't angst half as much as X-folks.
  • I will let my story follow its own flow, even if it doesn't go along with what I had originally planned. (i.e. If I originally wanted Rogue and Gambit to get back together, but it looks more and more like Rogue's going to get together with Bobby, I will keep an open mind about it...)
  • I will make Sailor Moon references only when appropriate.
  • I will make the way the hero/heroine/heroes solve a problem believable.
  • I will never, ever again co-write with three other people. If I try, I have authorised my sister to shoot me.
  • I will not begin massive projects that obviously need a co-writer until I finish the twelve stories I owe various people. If I don't, I will submit completely to Tapestry Syndrome, and go about writing thousands of stories at once and killing every fictive that I see forty-seven times daily.
  • I will not blame my lull in writing on my website.
  • I will not cancel a date because I've got writer's itch. Unless it's a really, really good idea. ;)
  • I will not complain about writer's block to my beta-readers and, in the same e-mail, give them a run-down of what I want to write in the next chapter.
  • I will not criticize Claremont for unrealistic dialogue and then have my characters launch into manic monologues themselves.
  • I will not drive Kielle insane.
  • I will not drive my readers insane.
  • I will not drive myself insane.
  • I will not e-mail bomb the person who used the title I had picked out for my still-in-progress epic.
  • I will not fix all my character's problems in one fic -- it takes at least three.
  • I will not get into any more !%@$ crossovers, no matter how cool they sound.
  • I will not get upset with my "normal" friends for not wanting to read my newest chapter of fan fiction.
  • I will not hate other writers for being better than I am. I will PRACTICE AND IMPROVE, instead. Then I will hate them.
  • I will not intentionally make a plotline that is as confusing and convoluted as Marvel storylines. I authorize other writers to tie me up and pummel me with copies of the "Spider-Man: Maximum Clonage" storyline if I do so.
  • I will not kill off my characters when I've planned a super-sappy chapter for them and they balk violently at what I want them to do.
  • I will not let countless pleas for the next part of my story guilt me into cranking out something just to please them that I am not pleased with myself.
  • I will not let myself get suckered into answering a challenge until it is too late to back out, only to find that my Muse is on strike.
  • I will not let slip an idea of a fic that I had, then never write it. If I speak it aloud, it will definitely never get written.
  • I will not make my characters mouthpieces for my own views.
  • I will not neglect a story just to work on another story.
  • I will not pace my stories like a roller coaster!
  • I will not poke fun of people who write erotica, then secretly write it and post it under an assumed name (I personally don't do this, but I've heard of it happening :) )
  • I will not post incomplete 'fic. I will write the whole thing first.
  • I will not post an Infoseek before I do an online search for info about the subject.
  • I will not post revelations every chapter just for the sake of it.
  • I will not promise to write a million things for people when I'm already writer-blocked on a million others...
  • I will not ramble on about a character's thoughts for about half a page after he says one sentence.
  • I will not scream and curse every time I see a new Rogue/Gambit poem/romance-fic -- I must remember that I myself did this once, in a period of temporary insanity, and bite my tongue.
  • I will not skip unwritten chapters to write something more interesting that lies ahead, then go back and use a paragraph as an excuse for the missing chapter, post, and feel good about my actions using the excuse "Now, the readers get two chapters at once! Good for me."
  • I will NOT tease my wonderful beta-readers with future plot-hints and then say "Oh, but it isn't written yet...", because to do this is nasty and evil, and they'll get angry with me.
  • I will not try to find sneaky ways to write around the more boring chapters of my story so that I can just skip to the good parts.
  • I will not try to get out of writing a crucial battle scene by simply scribbling out a quick summary of events.
  • I will not try to write an epic-length part less than thirty minutes before class starts.
  • I will NOT turn writing fan fiction into a way to make a point to the ignorant world at large.
  • I will not use boredom at work as an excuse to write the next chapter on the back of a used survey.
  • I will not volunteer my girlfriend's writing new chapters in exchange for Sam/Rahne stories.
  • I will not write a chapter of pointless dialogue and/or story-to-date summary just to alleviate my "haven't written in a while and my editors are getting cranky" guilt.
  • I will not write a story killing a fellow writer, no matter how good it might feel. My muse should be my helper, not my tormentor.
  • I will not write a totally-out-of-place funny moment in the midst of a dramatic chapter just because I can.
  • I will not write the last scene before the first one.
  • I will not write twenty different stories (only posting five in three years, of course) getting together one couple in twenty different ways, each story its own way. Twenty times are just too much. I should have stopped at nineteen.
  • I will occasionally exercise my versatility and write something other than X-fanfic.
  • I will, once in a while, write a story that isn't about my favorite character.
  • I will pay as much attention to the boring parts of my stories as to the exciting ones.
  • I will refrain from cruising the Shifting Sands with the sole intent of finding bad fan-fiction to MST. Furthermore, I will remember that even Ratliffians have feelings, no matter how ignoble. I will also remember that there is a such thing as "Good Fan-Fiction" and will "try to" keep "some" of my smartass comments to myself... Okay, so that last part was a lie, but it was pretty!
  • I will remember never to write a story when it's five a.m and I have to wake up at 7, even though everything I have written this way came out GOOD (!).
  • I will remember that, as much as I like them (or, at least, who they used to be), the world does not revolve around Rogue and Gambit. They live in a mansion, with with other people whose lives do not revolve around watching/interfering with Rogue & Gambit's love lives. I will remember to write accordingly.
  • I will remember that fanfic is supposed to be fun and stop stressing out when my stories don't come out the way I'd planned.
  • I will remember that not every reader is familiar with every nuance or character aspect of the X-Men, the New Mutants, Sailor Moon, or GenX, and I will try to explain things for such people.
  • I will remember that there are other things to write then TCP stories.
  • I will research for my stories if they happen outside the sphere of my existence, experience or knowledge.
  • I WILL send Timesprite the next chapter of my story so she can HTML it, not just tell her I will.
  • I will stop blaming it all on the/my muse.
  • I will stop plotting while I drive. Working out dialogue between Gambit and Rogue is great, but not at the drivethrough window.
  • I will stop spending all my time trying to cross my favorite TV shows over with the X-Men, no matter HOW much I think Buffy and Jubilee have in common.
  • I will stop talking about my stories in progress and actually write the damn things.
  • I will stop talking about writing erotica and actually write it...
  • I will try to remember that fanfic is NOT canon, and therefore not to be used as my "factual basis" while debating topics on RACMX.
  • I will use the same notebook to write in and use it for only that, not 10 notebooks with stories written between other scribblings.
  • I will write fics about other X-people, rather then the original five.
  • I WILL write a story over a page long.
  • I WILL write stories that do not in any way, shape, or form involve Subreality, beer, or sentient footwear.
  • Just because I have writer's block doesn't mean I have to write a sex scene to "get my story started."
  • Mapping out a story in my mind is not enough. I must actually write it.
  • No matter how obsessed I am with a canon character or how much I think we have in common, I will remember that I am not the authority on that character.
  • No more Soylent Green jokes.
  • Not every X-Men fanfic I write HAS to have Morph in it -- no matter how cute and how funny he is.
  • No story is ever final.
  • The quality of writing goes down in a story in direct proportion to the number of years you've let it sit and the degree to the change in your writing style as you do so.
  • Spending four hours on IRC discussing my next part does NOT count as writing -- darn it, Lynx, it doesn't. Don't look at me like that.
  • There IS writing to be done beyond fanfic -- I will dole out time for "real" projects, too.
  • When I finally realize that my "simple little story" has metastasized into a full-blown novel, I will not attempt to keep all the plot details straight in my head without roughing out the details on paper first, to be sure everything makes sense as a whole.
  • When I go to my computer around 7 p.m. with my beverage of choice and musical selection with my write file ready to go, I won't let thoughts of, "Hmmmmm...y'know, I really should check my e-mail," because with that thought comes thoughts of, "Oh, hey! I forgot to check out this site and check out a historical fact for my story!" This can only end with me still on the computer at 1:45 a.m. on a site called "The Best Quotes From Ally McBeal," and my write file anxiously waiting for anything to be written in it.
  • When sending my characters off to a foreign locale, I will take the five minutes needed to dig out my altas and make sure that I at least have them in the right county/province/bourough, and not on the opposite side of the country/state/city that I intended.
  • When writing a long 'fic, I will not write the fun stuff first, then fill in the gaps later.
  • When I think I've screwed it up royally, I will stop writing my "grand epic" and do either or both of the following: 1) write short stories until I have the opportunity to resume my original story, 2) when I resume my "grand epic," do not fail to explain how certain parts have been skipped between when it last got posted and where I am now.
  • When relaunching your unfinished "epic," it shouldn't hurt to fiddle around with the plot for a little bit before finally getting around to writing it. It wouldn't be a bad idea to let the original archivist(s) beta-read the revision for you before sending it to them, too (after all, they did archive the rest of your original story).


    Character Abuse

  • A couple that was brought together/reunited/realized their eternal love for each other while defeating Magneto bare-handed, does not need to also be brought together while being infected with the Legacy Virus, brought together while searching their horrible pasts, and brought together while going back/forward in time.
  • All X-Men hair does not have to anti-gravity. Just a few will do.
  • The angst must end -- sometime.
  • As much as I hate Rogue after UXM #350, I will not spend my time finding new ways to torture, maim, or otherwise inflict pain on her. Being written by Lobdell was painful enough.
  • Cable or Wolverine don't need to attack someone either one of them just met, especially if that other person is a hero.
  • Every now and then, I willl allow my fifteen extremely powerful and well trained characters to beat the single, unaided villain without difficulty.
  • Except for those with a rapid healing factor, severe injuries do take a while to heal.
  • If a character's actions in the comics offends me, I will try to resist the temptation to have just about everybody in my fanfic story parrot my own views, and then either have the offending character slink away or meekly and contritely accept my view after no more than a token resistance.
  • If I am going to kill a character, then I must kill that character.
  • If I feel the need to send a fic into AA, a long-term psychoanalyst, and have them question reality at the end of a story then I am being too mean to them.
  • If I kill a character, I won't bring him/her back just so I can kill him/her again.
  • If I kill someone, they will STAY DEAD -- unless it's more amusing to bring them back.
  • If my characters' angsting is getting on my nerves, it may be a sign.
  • I solemnly swear not to use and abuse Jubilee and Skin as jokish comic relief, just because one has not been allowed to age due to poor writing and the other has a lame mutant power and is therefore seen as "uncool." I shall treat them with the respect due any other GenXer, with the exception of Gaia, as she is Hama's Creation and therefore contemptible.
  • I will buy a copy of the Handbook to the comic book universe I am writing for and read it thoroughly before writing about a character.
  • I will definitely not listen to my Muse, who wishes me to maim/kill everyone in sadistic and creative ways on a regular basis. I willl write something nice and happy for a change.
  • I will endure or ignore authors/fanfics which bash my favourite characters, and avoid writing a fanfic which bashes others' favourites.
  • I will give my characters a chance to breathe before sending another super-villain after them.
  • I will let my main character go more than two pages without serious injury.
  • I will make an effort to use some of the more underused characters in the Marvel Universe, like Firebird, El Įguila, the She-Hulk, and some of those other Non-X characters.
  • I will never, ever, ever think about having a Muse again, as doing so seems to generate them against my will.
  • I will NEVER turn any innocent person into a cabbage. I now promise only only to deserving parties, like Ben Raab or that Hama guy...
  • I will not add a character simply so I can use their death as an emotional moment for my character.
  • I will not become insanely jealous of those of my characters who can fly -- and turning them all into hippos will not make me feel better.
  • I will not begin maiming my avatar "just because I can."
  • I will not castrate more than two Summers per story.
  • I will not chortle evilly every time something nasty happens to my avatar. It's impolite.
  • I will not commit acts of intimate violence on under-aged characters.
  • I will not decapitate more than one character with a healing factor in any story.
  • I will not give a character an accent unless I'm doing it for a humorous effect. Psylocke with a cockney accent isn't cute no matter how well she acts.
  • I will not give every character twisted and tragic pasts.
  • I will not give my avatar a past that conveniently has his/her parents killed off or absent from the picture, leaving my avatar a conveniently independent person.
  • I will not give my character Legacy, I will not give my character Legacy...
  • I will not give my characters a hideous traumatically past that has scarred them for life JUST so they'll have a right to sneer at the X-Men for being wussies. I do, however, reserve the right to give them rotten pasts if it's good for the story,
  • I will not have long-lost twin siblings that the character never knew they had show up out of nowhere.
  • I will NOT hum the "Brady Bunch" tune whenever I think of the Summers clan.
  • I will not invent anyone for the sole purpose of killing them in order to create a touching moment -- if I must kill someone, I will use someone who was already there.
  • I will not invent new villains just so that my characters can beat them. The fact that this happens is purely coincidental.
  • I will not kill Iceman...humiliation, embarrassment, and torture are okay...just not death.
  • I will not kill, maim, or harm someone else's Avatar or Muse.
  • I will not kill, maim or horribly emotionally scar my favourite avatar just because Tap did it. I will only do it if I really want to.
  • I will not kill off a character just because I dislike him/her.
  • I will not leave three characters in three separate stories all comatosed at the same time.
  • I will not ludicrously exaggerate someone's accent -- unless it's funny.
  • I will not make a character that is a carbon copy of another character. Especially one that is a carbon copy of some lame-o.
  • I will not make Cable out to be a demagogic authoritarian.
  • I will not make every single new character homeless, suicidally depressed, or a living virus, no matter how successful that type of character has been in the past.
  • I will not reform all of my villains. If they freely choose evil as a lifestyle, they should be allowed to get on with it.
  • I will not stay up till the wee hours of the morning trying to outdue my last torture scheme.
  • I will not take joy in putting my characters through hell. Really. I promise.
  • I will not take out my frustration on my fanfiction characters... No matter how much I want to.
  • I will NOT try to find new and exciting ways of connecting the Summers family with everybody I know (does include other TV shows, comics and friends). A hundred just from the Marvel Universe was enough...
  • I will not turn obviously straight male characters gay just to fulfill a personal sex fantasy. Rather, I will portray them in a manner consistent with the television series from which I took them.
  • I will not turn Siryn into the comic relief who only has two lines in the whole story and those lines are screaming at or fawning over Wade. (Never done it myself, but I've seen it)
  • I will not write a story that throws everything at my hero/heroine/heroes at once.
  • I will not write angst. Ever. If someone is miserable, they will be miserable openly, without sulking.
  • I will not write Colossus as a brainless twit in every single story (even though he is a rat bastard).
  • I will put at least two chapters' space between my character's major life crises.
  • I will realise that "Remy" is a perfectly ordinary French name and therefore I will NOT make it into an abbreviation of "Remilliard" or (God forbid!) "Rembrandt."
  • I will refrain from dropping pianos on Cyke. But I didn't say for how long.
  • I will refrain from inventing more than 600 new characters at once -- and I will take more than half a paragraph to introduce them.
  • I will remember that a torture session for Scott and/or Alex does not count for a "break between villains."
  • I will remember that just because I consider torturing my characters a sign of affection, they do deserve a break now and then.
  • I will remember that not all mutants are victims of angst, family trees that resemble family forests, or obligatory power boosts.
  • I will remember that Psylocke loves Angel, not Angle, unless the story involves teaching geometry to Generation X. (My sincere apologies to whomever wrote the Rogue/Rouge one.)
  • I will remember that "Scott Summers" does not mean "bumbling idiot to make Storm/Wolvie/Jean Grey look exceptionally capable and brilliant."
  • I will stop basing characters' emotions on Aqua songs.
  • I will stop making Gambit the third Summers brother...in fact, I'll stay away from the third Summers brother altogether...knowing Marvel history under Bob, it's going to be Deadpool.
  • I will stop researching life-threatening diseases just so that I can inflict them on my fanfic characters.
  • I will stop using other writers as puppets to put through hell.
  • I won't neglect a character, just because I'm not fond of them. After all, even Cable likely has a sex life.
  • It may be cathartic to demolish a character I dislike by having him or her do heinous things that s/he did not do in the comics or that do not accord with their established character, but it also makes it a wee bit obvious that I have an axe to grind.
  • It's not abuse if they enjoy it.
  • Just because a character's name is unrevealed, I do not have to make up one for them that is banal, insipid or embarrassing. The exception to this is when I'm doing it for a humorous effect.
  • Just because I can think of twenty different ways to kill Rogue, doesn't mean I have to use them all at once. I mean, I can get twenty decent fics out of that.
  • Just because Lynx suggests it, especially in regard to Storm, doesn't make it legal, ethical, moral or even a good idea. But it will be fun!
  • Just because they're not used frequently doesn't mean I can kill them off.
  • My avatar will be there for comic relief ONLY -- I will not kill/maim her if I'm bored.
  • My avatars have my full and unqualified permission to be rude to anyone except me -- if they are, I will dreadfully injure them, then "forget" to write them for the next six months.
  • My characters will not continue fighting with eighteen broken ribs and a leg missing -- they will scream and fall down like everyone else.
  • My fictives are not really real, and they won't kill me for the torture I'm putting them through.
  • No matter how much I hate a particular canon character, if a scene calls for that character, I will not write him/her as a completely unlikeable idiot. And if the character really is that way in the story, I will: 1) keep the behaviour in character; 2) show/explain why the character is acting that way.
  • Not everyone wants all the boring characters killed off. I will respect this, and only kill some of them.
  • One human pregnancy equals nine months.
  • Really, techno-organic enhancement has been done -- again, and again, and again, and again, and again...
  • Stick does not equal a blind Cable or Wolverine.
  • There are other love relationships in the Marvel Universe besides Rogue and Gambit, Cyclops and Phoenix, and Archangel and Psylocke. I will find out who and use them.
  • There is more to life than angst. There is more to life than angst.
  • There will be a set limit on any and all angst I choose to include.
  • Wolverine, Cable and other characters do have the right to smile occasionally.
  • Wolverine, Cable and other characters have a right to be happy occasionally.
  • Wolverine doesn't have to call someone "bub" every five lines.
  • Your character does not need to light a cigarette every thirty seconds.


    Favoritism

  • The bunny-slippers belong to Abyss, no matter how much I covet them, so I will cease attempting to clone them.
  • I absolutely will NOT allow Gambit to sleep with more than two women -- or men for that matter -- per chapter.
  • If I must give a character new powers, I will make the way s/he receives the power(s) believable.
  • It is not an offense for other writers to take a dim view of Cyclops. I will only defend him once a day in posts under 1,000 words.
  • I will maim someone else besides Spider-Man at least once every two months.
  • I will not e-mail bomb someone who killed a character I like.
  • I will not flame another writer simply because she abuses a character I adore.
  • I will not focus completely on one character throughout an entire story, only to remember the other seven main characters whom I wrote into the prologue and give them all consecutive, identical actions at the end of the story.
  • I will not get angry is someone starts a flamewar because they didn't like the way Marvel is writing its latest "X-Men: Children Of The Atom" mini -- it's about time Marvel updated that dusty old origin story (you can't keep having your most popular characters grooving to the Beatles and worrying about commies forever...).
  • I will not give a character I like new powers just because I like them or because it's convenient to the plot.
  • I will not make my characters all-powerful -- however, making them more intelligent than everyone else in the MU is fine, as writing dialogue for yeast is difficult.
  • I will not make my original characters related to every single character I like.
  • I will not skip ahead and write the exciting episode that will not happen for another six months.
  • I will not start writing a story with the sole intention of getting Rogue and Gambit into bed together.
  • I will not submit to Bad Writer! lines that imply everyone should write a character the way *I* like him or her.
  • I will remember that a writer's original characters do have a right to exist, even if they are carbon copies of some lame-o or a Mary Sue.
  • I will remember that there are other teams like X-Force, not just the X-Men.
  • I will try to remember that folks who write only X-Men have a right to live, too. Honest.
  • I will try to remember that people who never write X-Men have a right to live, too. I will TRY to remember.
  • Just because I love the character doesn't mean I should kill/mutilate/torture them. It's possible to show characterization without pain...I know it is...it must be...
  • My original character does not have to appear in every fic I write. I can kill her and write a fic about how much everyone misses her. :)
  • Not everyone loves cats, penguins and aardvarks as much as I do, so I will write other animals sometimes.
  • Not only the good-looking characters survive severe injuries. I'm sure of it.
  • When doing a MiSTing, I will not skim over a part that has my favorite character(s) in it. I have to be an equal opportunity offender.
  • When stating your preferences for a variety of different artists on your favorite comicbooks, remember that not everyone will agree with you on who is the best (yes, even though I think John Romita Jr. would've been good on Gen X).
  • Wolverine may have been able to take down the Hellfire Club, but that doesn't mean I can use him to solve EVERY problem.


    The Details (plot, spelling. etc.)

  • About sentence fragments? I won't.
  • And I won't start a sentence with a conjunction.
  • Even if you DO have enhanced senses, does not mean that you don't need to look for traffic before crossing the road. Not all cars have noisy engines.
  • If I am writing a long story, I will find beta readers to make sure I don't make an ass of myself when I post the "final" version of the story.
  • If I cannot write accents, I will not use them.
  • If I must resurrect Marvel's longest-dead character, I will characterize him believably.
  • I must remember that it's Shaw, not Shawn...
  • I need to learn to Speel better. /-)
  • It is a good idea to practice HTML. But not on classwork. The teachers will not appreciate it one bit (especially since it makes my writing even harder to read...).
  • I will attempt to maintain at least internal continuity -- and I will resist the temptation to cover for Marvel's mistakes.
  • I will avoid making oblique Pratchett references, no matter how well they fit.
  • I will figure out a way to describe costumes without going into extravagant details.
  • I will learn a little bit of Cajun/Southern Accent/German/Russian before I try to use them in a story.
  • I will never use run-on sentences I will always end each sentence with a period and start a new one.
  • I will not end a sentence a preposition with.
  • I will not get wrapped up in the details. Readers do not care what colour toilet paper said character has run out of...
  • I will not give my brother the first part to a story, ask him to proofread it, then post it on his page, when I know full well it won't sound like it did before I sent it to him. We're both perfectionists and it's hard for either of us to proofread a story and *not* do that. It's not only embarrassing, it's frustrating and WRONG.
  • I will not submit stories with embarrassing spelling mistakes that the spellcheck can't pick up!
  • I will not take up my father's challenge of who has more comic book IQ. In his comic books, Jean never died. Ever.
  • I will not use making chocolate brownies as an excuse not to write that day.
  • I will not write in quick sentences. Ever.
  • I will pay attention to what I write.
  • I will poof-wead for speeling mis takes.
  • I WILL proofread stories before sending them to beta readers. It's embarrassing to have three people point out that "it's your, not you're."
  • I will read over my stories at least twice before posting or sending them off to my beta readers. Even though inspiration struck for chapter 19 as I was writing chapter 3, it might be best to take out that section before sending the story.
  • i will remember 2 capitalize and spell out words when needed. NEthing diff is 2 hard 4 peep 2 understand.
  • I will remember it is "a lot" and not "alot."
  • i will remember that capitalization and punctuation are important
  • I will remember that people like to see proper grammar in stories.
  • I will remember punctuation is important
  • I will remember to use the Summers family as a template for plotting complicated family trees.
  • I will plan out the fic I'm working on, and not just plop down at the keyboard and hope for the best.
  • I will proofread my stories before I post them to spare myself the possibility of many embarrassing typos.
  • I will remember that Remy likes Rogue, not "Rouge," unless I am writing a story delving into parts of Remy's life that are going to involve a feather boa, Scott in drag, and the Village People.
  • I will remember who I killed and when. And just because the fic is 40-something chapters long is no excuse.
  • I will remember that I can resolve a plotline whenever I want to, not just after 20 years of waiting like Marvel.
  • I will remember that I can wait longer than 3 chapters to resolve a plotline.
  • I will stop basing my stories on (warped) events in my own life.
  • I will stop writing Author's Notes/Commentary at the beginning of my story longer than the story itself.
  • I will use punctuation. Moreover, I will only use it in the places it is needed.
  • I will write the word "an" not "and" and "he" not "the" where appropriate.
  • I won't use no double negatives.
  • It is possible for a woman to "undulate" into a room, though I won't promise not to wince when I read it.
  • Me? Fail spelling? That's impossibleble!
  • Sabretooth, not Sabertooth, please remember Sabretooth!
  • When describing the grand setting of the final battle between the Hero and the Villain I will remember that there are other settings besides "dark and stormy."
  • When typing at full speed, I will stop accidentally replacing small common words like "the" and "it" with other small common words. There IS a difference.
  • When writing a run-on sentence, I will make it an interesting and legible sentence so that people will want to keep reading it to the end and so that the intent of my characters is brought across through the language of my characters, so that it makes sense and the meaning shines through and there should not be any redundancy, at all.
  • You see that lonely Verb Tense sitting all by itself in the cafeteria? Grab your milk carton and make Verb Tense your new best friend!


    Procrastination

  • Blaming the kids for bugging me about their homework is not an acceptable excuse for not getting my work done in a timely manner, say, in this calendar year.
  • Chatting to my best virtual friend for four hours and telling her all the cool stuff that's coming up for the 'Cats does NOT count as work.
  • The column is due, the column is due, the column is due...
  • "Five more minutes" does not redefine time as we know it.
  • French homework! French homework?! I DID my French homework!!... Wait... That was Gambit speaking French...in...a...fan fic...oh $***. I didn't do my French homework! :(
  • I do not NEED chocolate to write. Not having any is not an excuse not to work on the three novels and eighty billion fanfics that I foolishly started.
  • If I have to be late, I must explain to the archivists why I didn't get a chapter of a story finished on time.
  • If I'm going to be late, I will let the archivist know about it so s/he can post that it will be late.
  • If I say I'm going to do a story in the next month, I will at least try and finish it within the year.
  • If your shareware says "Day 167 of your 30-day evaluation period," you've been using it too long -- as an excuse to get out of writing.
  • I'll do this one later.
  • I'll send the parts when I say I will...or at least in the same day.
  • I promise to finish that Alpha Flight arc. It's only four months late.
  • I will accept that my name is Neva "Procrastinating Fool" Huddleston.
  • I will actually respond to readers who give me feedback within the next century.
  • I will actually write stories, instead of just writing SCs using my unwritten characters and telling #fictalkers about all the stuff I have planned...
  • I will beta that story, instead of sitting around feeling guilty about it, no matter how bad the story looks.
  • I will FINISH stories -- not just start them.
  • I will learn to at least finish the sentence that I am wor--
  • I will never again take four years to finish a fic.
  • I will not do five MiSTies when I have a story halfway done.
  • I will not email-bomb other writers who post stories I thought up first before I could write them.
  • I will not make promises such as "I'll finish it in a week" when I know it'll take me months.
  • I will not send the webmaster part of a fan fiction and tell him "more is on the way soon" when I know full well it's going to be at least two months before the next chapter will be written.
  • I will not start ANY more fanfics until I finish some of the ones I have going now.
  • I will not start ANY new novels until I get at least halfway through the three I'm already trying to write.
  • I will not tell someone I will do an erotic fictive and then send them the first part only to spend the next month doing other things.
  • I will not use research as an excuse not to start writing that story.
  • I will not use the phrase "I'm not a real writer, anyway" as an excuse for not getting stories out on time.
  • I will not whine that twelve hours daily of computer time isn't enough to get any writing done -- I am fooling no one.
  • I will not write twenty-five pages of a first book, then eighty four of the second, and 112 of the fourth, when none of them are finished or in order.
  • I will post each and every story when it is completed instead of waiting until an entire story arc is finished.
  • I will put aside my Morph series long enough to finish Generation Dreams #5.
  • I will remember to at least write an outline for the first half of my fic before I write the last half.
  • I will resist writing that"'one little Gen-X story" until my five other stories, two term papers, three projects and daily homework are at least thought about for three seconds each.
  • I will stop MUSHing, and work on the dozen fics I have half started.
  • I will stop revising and editing in a timely manner and actually post the damn thing!
  • I will update the Cafe more than once every month -- really, I will!
  • I will write the entire story and not just the erotic parts (which are more fun but do not a complete story tell)
  • Just because I'm on my dad's computer is no reason not to work.
  • Just because you don't have Internet access, let alone a computer, does not mean you still can't write and be ready for when you do.
  • Just because you spill red Kool-Aid on your notebook, does not mean you can't write in it.
  • Looking at pics from (fill in anime title) does NOT count as researching a fic for it.
  • "Net Research" does not consist of fifteen minutes of actual research and three hours of fanfic reading.
  • No matter how long I beat this story into the ground, I'm not going to win large sums of money, so I may as well do the best I can and put the bastich out.
  • Not trying to know -- ahem, I mean, not knowing HTML isn't a valid reason why I can't have my site updated -- or working, whatever.
  • Now that I have uploaded that long-promised website, I can now proceed to finish my "grand epic" (making time for college, programming practice, and life outside of the Internet among other things)...
  • Remember that just because you're relaunching your original "epic" as a shorter story doesn't mean that everyone has read it -- it pays off big to explain to new and old readers alike what you've changed in the story since you stopped writing it.
  • Spending the entire day reading other people's fanfics does NOT exempt me from working on my own.
  • Wait...just this one last paragraph, then I'll go to bed.
  • When getting around to writing that "grand epic" I started last year, I will bear in mind that the canonical references to some of the characters in my story will soon be out of date (much like the computer I'm using to compose said fan-fiction work)...
  • When I say "I'm going to write tonight," that does not mean an hour of e-mail, two hours of chatting, and three hours of coding/designing graphics.
  • When I sit down at my computer, I will actually write...not daydream about Ben Affleck in a Spider-Man costume.
  • When people start storming the castle and clamoring for my blood, I will stop my new project and finish the story I started six months ago.
  • Writer's block is not an excuse to go dirty-(archive/chatroom/gif)-diving.


    Submissions/Posting

  • For whoever you people out there doing this are: "I will follow Darqstar's submission rules so the poor woman can relax!"
  • If you're submitting or posting a revised story, don't forget to explain to readers (some of whom may recall the original story) what you"ve changed in the story since you stopped writing the original chapters.
  • I WILL actually get around to submitting my stories to people.
  • I will actually post stories, instead of using the "I'll wait till my fifteenth part is finished (all the while knowing I'm on part six)..." :)
  • I will add a new chapter to my stories more than once every six months.
  • I will always put my name at the top of every submission so my lovely, sweet, patient archivist doesn't have to email me back and ask me "What's your name?"
  • I will change my stinking disclaimer every once and a while. This one is getting quite stale.
  • I WILL cut my glorious 100-page saga down into manageable bits for less gifted newsreaders.
  • I will eventually post the second part to the first story I ever attempted to write, because people are actually waiting for it...
  • I will find a new site to post my fics on. Really I will.
  • I will include more in my intros to each part besides how wonderful my beta readers are. The world knows this already.
  • I will keep stories on file. That way, when I get asked by the archivists for a copy, I don't need to say, "Oh, you can grab that off the web. It's only seventy pages for you to cut, paste, and reformat."
  • I will learn HTML so that I can actually have more than one mainstream story archived at Darqstar's. I will not put it off for another 10 months.
  • I will not always contradict whatever was posted before me...
  • I will not ask everyone whose stories I'm archiving on my site to beta read my story for me. I will choose a few beta readers and then post the story for everyone interested to read.
  • I will not drive my archivist insane.
  • I will not hassle anyone with story ideas...they will grow to resent me and ignore me.
  • I will not humbly beg for criticism and then argue with or ignore my test reader.
  • I will not post chapters every day and then conveniently not post for a month.
  • I will not read everything that I post more then twice.
  • I will not send part one of a story to one archivist then send part two to a different archivist.
  • I will not spend time posting about twenty-some-odd submissions to the Bad Writer list, simply because I'm avoiding actually working on my own fanfic.
  • I will post something once in a blue moon, not just let it collect dust with the eighteen other stories on my computer.
  • I will remember that I am not God (as much as I'd like to be) and archivists can refuse my stories if they so choose to. While that doesn't mean I can't sulk, comments about said archivists' sexual practices are unnecessary.
  • I will remember to let people know I have a new story up. That way they know to read it.
  • I will say more then just "Here, post this" when asking archivists to archive things for me.
  • I will scrupulously obey every single archiving rule on Shifting Sands from now on.
  • I will show proper respect to the archivists, without grovelling. This is unattractive, and makes me sound like a twit.
  • I will stop fishing for compliments in subtle ways like "Soooooo...didyouseethenewcolumn???"
  • I will submit complete stories to the archivists...not summaries, ideas, or random thoughts.
  • Just because the fic I submitted five months ago still hasn't appeared in any of the updates doesn't mean that I should assume the archivist never received it, and I will not resend the story to all of her e-mail addies.
  • People definitely won't feedback me if I don't distribute my stories properly.
  • Remember that there is sometimes going to be a delay between uploading that website and when search engine databases will be able to index it. It certainly helps to announce it on messageboards first...
     

    SECTION #2: ONLINE


    Internet Addiction

  • After the 53rd time of "five more minutes" I actually will start my homework.
  • Even poetry in your e-mail box isn't worth missing a final for.
  • ICQ is a tool of Satan -- eschew it.
  • I am not addicted! It just likes me... It's my friend...
  • I do not have an unhealthy obsession with my computer...now back away from my baby before I beat you.
  • I don't have a problem. I can quit whenever I want.
  • I have a life, dammit! Just let me check my e-mail first...
  • I have ten toes. When I look down and see eleven, I will stop writing and get some sleep.
  • I heard it call out to me! I swear!
  • The Internet WILL remain even if I don't spend my four hours a day on it.
  • It is WAY past time to sign off when you're still online and the sun is beginning to come up.
  • I will allocate time for other things while online.
  • I will allow myself at least four hours of sleep...per night (sigh).
  • I will check my e-mail in the morning. Then I will get off-line. I will not miss my 9 o'clock class because an archivist has updated an archive that I know perfectly well I can check after class.
  • I will control my Pavlovian drooling at the sound of a connecting modem.
  • I will devote at least three hours a week to maintaining a strong grip on reality.
  • I will give my brother money for the phone bill when it comes.
  • I will learn that there is no such thing as "only a couple of minutes" on the Internet.
  • I will log off in order to complete those thirteen questions for class tomorrow even though this picture is taking quite a while to download, but it looks so neat (oooh)...
  • I will log off to let Dad call his stockbroker, I will log off to let Dad call his stockbroker, I will log off to let Dad call his stockbroker...
  • I will never, ever again spend thirty-two consecutive hours on ICQ and mirc and then go to school immediately afterwards.
  • I will not become enraged if my siblings want to get on the Net too. Besides, hit men are very angry when you can't pay them the third time around.
  • I will not check all eight of my favourite sites for new material more than twice daily.
  • I will not choose a college solely because it provides free, unlimited Internet access.
  • I will not drool at my Ethernet connection that pegs at 300 K/s. That's Sprite on my keyboard...
  • I will not get defensive if people ask me why I've checked my e-mail for the fiftieth time that day.
  • I will not get impatient if I e-mail someone and they do not reply until the next day.
  • I will not get the shakes and go into a panic attack when my favorite BB is down for more than two days.
  • I will not get the shakes and go into a panic attack when Hotmail is down and I can't check my e-mail.
  • I will not go insane when my sister ties up the phone line while I want to use the Internet.
  • I will not hit that button more than once simply because it's taking to much time to load.
  • I will not miss meals because I'm talking to someone on chat. I will go to bed before three o'clock in the morning.
  • I will not overuse emoticons, no matter how cute they look -- that is probably why people invented the "Slap" command.
  • I will not read from newsgroups, message boards, and archives during class or any other time at school.
  • I will not refer to my favorite webpages as my "haunts."
  • I will not spend all day on the net.
  • I will not sit up till 4:30 am when I have a 9 am tutorial the next day just because that's the time the e-mail starts to come in on the computer. I will remember the shame of falling asleep in class and hitting my head on the desk. (It did happen. I ain't lying and I may never recover.)
  • I will not squeal and leap into the lap of someone doing a vocal impression of a modem connection. Sober. At a Christmas party. In front of my husband.
  • I will not suggest to my parents that we install a T-1 line in our house to replace our 28.8 modem more than once every 30 days.
  • I will not try to check my e-mail in the seventeen seconds I have before the bus comes for work
  • I will not use "It helps me concentrate!" as an excuse to look at fanart when I am supposed to be doing schoolwork.
  • I will not wait up to 3 am in the morning attempting to chat to Americans and then finding out that they're not even online.
  • I will, occasionally, get some work done on my story instead of checking USENET-- again.
  • I will remember that I need to get a job. That were is more to life then X-Men and fanfic...after all, I need to find a way to pay the rent and buy my GenX comics and pay off my debts to Bum...
  • I will remember that once upon a time, my house had two phone lines, so that if the first line was busy, calls could be taken on the second number.
  • I will remember that when my mother tells me I should do something other then watch TV that she meant something outside.
  • I will resist the urge to check my e-mail or visit the bulletin boards when I am waiting for an important phone call, especially when that phone call is from a prospective employer who wants to set up a job interview.
  • I will restrain my right pinkie from automatically moving to hit the backspace whenever I make a mistake in handwriting.
  • I will spend less than eight hours online.
  • I will stop checking my e-mail while going to the bathroom at 3 am.
  • I will stop drawing keyboards on my desk at school so that I can postpone the daily withdrawal.
  • I will stop using the Internet after my "you've been idle, do you want to stay online?" message
  • Just one hour a day is sufficient for checking out the email and seeing if your favorite websites have been updated.
  • My modem is not a holy object.
  • My parents' admonition for me to spend only ONE hour a day on the Internet was a sensible idea.
  • Really dark, gory fanfics are not always the best to read before going to sleep.
  • Upon the click of the modem, I will not coo to my computer, "Come on, Hal. You know how I like my connections -- ringing and accessible!"
  • When I can recite the total address for all the sites I go to, I've had too much Internet.
  • When I come to visit my family for the weekend, I will visit my family. My website can wait until I return home.
  • When I return home from college and my Ethernet connection, I will not look down on my parents for having a 56K modem.
  • When my eyes start to close on their own, it's time to go to bed.
  • When my four-year-old says, "Mommy? Who's that?" it's time to log off.
  • When my mom starts shouting "GET OFF THE INTERNET! WE NEED TO CALL 911! WE'RE ALL BURNING TO DEATH!!!" I will not reply "Okay, just a minute! Let me finish downloading this!"
  • When the computer screen is nothing but a dull, white blur, it's time to go to bed.
  • When you find yourself bugging your sister to let you use the computer barely an hour after she logged on, get psychiatric help.
  • When your family tells you, "Hey there! Long time, no see!", you've spent much too much time on the Net.
  • You've been on the Internet too long when you know how many sites Yahoo has catalogued that are devoted to duct tape and bubble wrap -- and have visited them all.
  • You've been on the 'Net too long when you can name an Internet site (and its full address) for just about any occasion.


    E-Mail/Correspondence

  • "Hey wanker" is generally an inappropriate subject header.
  • I need send each message only once.
  • I will accept the fact that many people will wait for me to finish a story before they send their responses to me.
  • I will answer all my e-mails, even those from that guy who wants to sell me his book on satanic cults.
  • I will answer e-mail sent to me within three days
  • I will answer every single person who writes to me with praise for my fanfiction, and refrain from sending my more violent 'fics around to maim any flamers.
  • I will check my e-mail only once a day. Just once. Really. No, I'm not shaking, why do you ask?
  • I will compliment writers on stories I enjoy, if only because it's embarrassing for them to email me with feedback.
  • I will e-mail my non-fanfic friends, just as soon as I finish this feedback...
  • I will give a longer answer than "gee, thanks" to an e-mail praising a story I have written.
  • I will not delete flames just because I can't take criticism.
  • I will not encourage die-hard fans to have a nice, tall, cool, refreshing glass of "shut the hell up."
  • I will not e-mail bomb someone because they asked to do a MST of one of my stories.
  • I will not e-mail bomb someone because they did a MST of a story I liked.
  • I will not flame those who post irrelevant commercial material on my favorite BB's. Well, I'll try not to, anyway.
  • I will not get all hyper before opening my e-mail and then get bummed after reading it all quickly and wanting more. Hmmmm...reminds me of opening Christmas/B-day presents...
  • I will not get upset if I don't have any new mail at 2:00 in the morning.
  • I will not let e-mail build up in my inbox until it reaches 836 messages, 213 of which are still unanswered.
  • I will not let myself be on two mailing lists at the same time if it means I can expect 400 messages in my mailbox daily.
  • I will not neglect friends who do not have e-mail
  • I will not put off important e-mail for so long that it scrolls into limbo.
  • I will not refer to myself as my handle when mailing to parents and relations.
  • I will not spend more than three hours e-mailing the various mailing lists I'm in. (Reading the posts doesn't count *g*)
  • I will not submit to Bad Writer lists at 3 am, because later I will not remember what I typed, and will be frightened.
  • I will not surf fanfiction galleries for the sole purpose of flaming bad writers. (BWAHAHA, yeah right!)
  • I will remember that my boyfriend should have a slightly higher priority than my e-mail...but not too much higher.
  • I will remember that not everyone checks their e-mail 100 times a day, and therefore I shall not be depressed when I do not receive feedback within 30 minutes of posting a story.
  • I will remember that on the mailing list hitting reply goes back to the list, not the original sender.
  • I will take Tapestry up on a draw-a-picture-of-your choice when I guilt-trip her into it, instead of procrastinating so long that she forgets.
  • I will think of suitable subject lines for each message.
  • I will write to my best friend more then once every twelve months. If I only write once every twelve months then I will have a better excuse than "I was working on a round robin."
  • I won't go insane just because I'm on five mailing lists. I won't go insane just because I'm on five mailing lists. I won't go insane just because I'm on five mailing lists...
  • Just because I don't get e-mails every time I check my mail (which is seven times in three minutes) doesn't mean that the world hates me! After all, not everyone checks their mail at four in the morning.
  • Just because I don't have to pay postage doesn't mean I can send 25+ pages.
  • Just because nobody has deluged me with email about my new website doesn't mean that they don't know it exists; everybody has a life and obligations outside of the Internet, just like me.
  • Just because someone decides to slam me, saying that my story doesn't match the current timeline, despite the fact that the summary explicitly outlines timeline changes, doesn't me I have to publically humiliate them. On the other hand, it doesn't mean I can't.
  • Mail bombs are not the solution.
  • When actually using a gasp pencil and paper to write to somebody, I will refrain from using emoticons and/or asterisks, colons, etc, to signal action.
  • When a reader flames me and says that I totally screwed up a story, I will resist the urge to send a nasty e-mail in return. That person's rudeness does not excuse my own.
  • Where am I?!?
  • "Your story stinks" is not an adequate letter. If you really feel moved enough to write an author, at least tell them why you hate the work.


    Socializing

  • Alara knows the most about Magneto. Never dispute Alara.
  • Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. As long as it doesn't conflict with mine.
  • Frito knows more about people have white hair than anyone should have to know. I will not argue with her.
  • Hot knives are frowned upon in IRC. Besides, it makes me look like a fanboy.
  • I can go for more than half an hour at work without obsessively checking the M&J/CFAN message boards. One of these days, my boss WILL catch me.
  • I can't leave my computer on all day just so I can scroll back and see what was said in IRC while I was gone.
  • If I have a problem with someone, I will politely confront him/her about it as soon as possible instead of brooding about it for two months.
  • I pay for a second line so people can call me. I will manage to be off the Internet long enough to receive said calls.
  • IRC and ICQ are not substitutes for a social life. You can meet people with similar interests to yours in real life if you take the time to look.
  • I shall refrain from saying "/me strips off all her clothes and dances around the room nekkid" within the first ten minutes of entering #subcafe.
  • I will restrain my violent reaction when my mom suggests I spend more time with my "real friends"...
  • I will encourage those marvellous ideas for fanfics inspired by clever one-liners in e-mail or newsgroups.
  • I will find out what roleplaying is.
  • I will find places to socialize more with other fic writers, as Kellie is the only one I know.
  • I will hold my temper if someone criticizes the manner in which I wrote a canon character "re: Cordelia Frost Principle."
  • I will no longer point out that comic books are soap operas. Even though the whole Summers thing is easily explained that way.
  • I will not be surprised when my poor computer, which is running conversations on IRQ, ICQ, a Java chatroom, AND several Instant-Message windows simultaneously, crashes like a Kevin Costner movie.
  • I will not go on one minute more about my resemblance to Wisdom unless I have a digital bloody well camera to back me up. Even if it does make the ladies swoon. :)
  • I will not kill/maim severely the misguided individuals who think Storm and Cable make a good couple -- I shall hire someone else to do this for me.
  • I will not refuse to date someone just because he doesn't look/act like my favorite character.
  • I will not slap fellow #fictalkers with large sea mammals unless they really, really deserve it.
  • I will not stay on ICQ so long that Silvanis suggests I seek professional help.
  • I will not steal kisses from lovely ladies (even online ones) when their boyfriends are due any minute.
  • I will not take over the world in chat more then once a night. I will once in a while allow others to wear the snazzy cloak of stars and world domination.
  • I will not threaten my fellow denizens of #fictalk with my chainsaw.
  • I will recall that no matter what I do on #fictalk, I am not really marrying Tapestry. (Sorry, Tap, had to say it. (EG) )
  • I will refrain from saying ///grin/// when talking on the phone.
  • I will remember that biting someone and drinking all their blood is considered an antisocial act. :)
  • I will remember that spending a night on IRC does not count as "going out."
  • I will remember that I cannot win an RACMX debate through my fanfics, especially if my additions to the canonic version mainly serve to support my point of view.
  • I will remember that not everyone is a major anime/Mercedes Lackey fan. They all should be, but...
  • I will remind myself that not everyone has read my story.
  • I will stop bugging Laersyn to cut my legs off with the chainsaw.
  • I will stop prefixing all my thoughts with "/me does something" when not in #subcafe.
  • I will stop using major social events (prom, graduation) as opportunities to plot my next fanfic.
  • I will stop worshipping everyone in #subcafe. Really!
  • I will try to do more of my shopping with my real-life friends. In a real-life mall.
  • Just because I've got friends online doesn't mean I'm popular.
  • mIRC is not the only form of communication on this planet.
  • My girlfriend knows best, my girlfriend knows best...
  • No matter how vehemently I disagree with someone about characterization, there's a point where the argument is just an exercise in frustration and I could be spending that time writing.
  • Pouncing my friends in Subreality is okay. Pouncing someone in real life is a possible misdemeanor.
  • Socializing is not going on your favorite BB and throwing egg crap pies and maiming Barney and Elvis clones.
  • Socializing? What's that?
  • "Social skills" are not shooting cars that pass by the outside window that disturb my writing element with a BB gun, no matter how many come up to your door to socialize with you in person afterwards.
  • When chatting or writing e-mail, I will enforce at least a 1:4 ratio of acronyms and emoticons to actual words of more than five letters.
  • When in IRC, I will realize that other people have different thoughts to the seriousness of a "Internet only" relationship. You may think it's true love, but you're liable to be flirted with regardless.
  • Just because you're a #subcafe hotshot does not mean everyone will love and respect you. In fact, a lot of people will loathe you.
  • write feedback write feedback write feedback
  • My point of view is not your point of view, just like in fanfic. I will respect that.


    Round Robining

  • Alara gets one cameo per RR -- Magneto-referential always.
  • Continuity, continuity, continuity!
  • If I decide to participate in a RR, I will read ALL previous posts before writing.
  • If I decide to participate in a RR, I will remember to write more than a token insertion piece.
  • If it is clear the original author intended a story to go one way, I will not intentionally send it the other way.
  • I must accept the fact that the story will get away from us -- don't panic, just try to keep up.
  • In the future I will not read/participate in more than one round robin at a time. Especially if they're SCRR ones.
  • I will always reply to the FIRST posting in the thread so replies don't scroll off to right-side-of-the-screen-oblivion.
  • I will at least go over my post two times before posting to make sure that I have made no typing mistakes.
  • I will check to see if new thread-sequences have popped up before I hit the POST button.
  • I will encourage new posters who are learning. I will guide the clueless-but-enthusiastic gently -- without using a crowbar, a two-by-four, or a BFG.
  • I will keep an up-to-date scoresheet of each of the characters' locations before I attempt to write anyone into my section.
  • I will not absolutely ignore a certain person.
  • I will not absolutely ignore the previous post.
  • I will not allow myself to be typecast. I must play a different sort of character each RR -- or at least try.
  • I will not destroy anyone who uses my character in a way that I see unfit. In the round robin. I will wait until they feel safe and secure before coming down upon them like a Discworld god's lightning bolt on a pesky atheist.
  • I will not get mad when someone mistakes my character's entrance for another only to find out it WAS another character they were talking about.
  • I will not gloat at the obscene amounts of praise I got for "Noir" -- my head is swelled enough as it is.
  • I will not go into a snit because someone else has started a popular epic; I may have started the trend, but I don't have a monopoly on it.
  • I will not have my avatar (or any other) sleep with Dex unless it is both in character and pertinent to the story. (HAH!)
  • I will not participate in a RR just to introduce my original character. I will randomly maim fictives, THEN introduce my character.
  • I will not post to an RR under more than one alias.
  • I will NOT repost a RR unless I have the time to participate in it!
  • I will not spend all my time in the Cafe under a table with an amorous gypsy...no more then 25%, I swear!
  • I will not throw in my favorite character...someone else might bump them off just to tick me off
  • I will not use a second RR as an excuse not to finish the first.
  • I will not use the RRs as an excuse to lay out cruel and unjust punishment to those that vex me -- lucky for you, Hama.
  • I will not write my avatar with wings unless she is playing an angel.
  • I will not write something that has absolutely nothing to do with the previous post.
  • I will once and a while not viciously maim my avatar -- even if it is fun. *Mwahahahaha*
  • I will proofread the damn thing before I post. It saves embarrassment and a meek e-mail to Impar. ;)
  • I will recall that there is usually an average of two or three people I can count on being mildly drunk when they post and adjust my mindset accordingly.
  • I will remember Abyss FROWNS upon transforming the slippers into human.
  • I will remember that there are minors that read RRs, and refrain from making reference to certain portions of human anatomy (not to mention it makes Impy mad...*g*)
  • I will remember the bunny slippers *only* speak bunny-ese.
  • I will stop killing Doc Nuke...even if it does let Laersyn and Kielle get together.
  • I will try to avoid Mary Sue Syndrome in my avatar.
  • I will try to avoid Tapestry Syndrome in my avatar.
  • I will try to have some idea for the plot before I post. Really. It's bad form to post after myself unless making a correction.
  • One line between paragraphs makes the RR easier to read.
  • Posting to a round robin is NOT meeting people.
  • There is a life outside round robins. No, really!
  • There WILL be more than one villain. There WILL be more than one villain. (Or at least, there will be enough that everyone can have a piece.)
  • While the RRs would make a good movie, Hollywood would never go for it; nobody but the fanfic community would understand.
     

    SECTION #3: REALITY (?)


    Neglecting Real Life

  • A "nature scene" screen saver is NOT an acceptable substitute for the real thing.
  • A slow day at work is no excuse to write fan fiction.
  • Always remember that there IS a difference between "Road Rage" and "Beserker Rage."
  • "But I found a new fanfic gallery!" is not a valid excuse for not doing your homework. Trust me.
  • Ctrl+Z will not erase mistakes that I make in real life.
  • "Fanfiction Author" does NOT qualify as an extracurricular activity on a college application.
  • Feedback is not an excuse for missing my first class. For being late, maybe, but not for missing it altogether. But I can't tell the professor that, especially not at length
  • Goldfish will die if they are not fed several days in a row.
  • I don't neglect it, it neglects me...
  • If, upon walking out into daylight, I feel like the vampires who die in the Ray-Ban commercials, I really need to get out more.
  • I have a life?
  • I must get out more often. I must get out more often. I must get out more often...
  • I must remember that there is only one computer in the house with Internet access, and I must hand it over to the children when they need to do research for various homework projects. Addendum: And I will not poke my nose in every ten minutes to see if they are done. I will wait until they are done and have left the room before recovering the computer.
  • I shouldn't answer the phone at work, "Good afternoon, Subreality." It confuses people.
  • It is best to remember that being sent to your room is considered a PUNISHMENT not a REWARD!
  • I will do work-related work at work.
  • I will go out on a Saturday night, and not just so I have something to talk about in IRC.
  • I will learn that real life does not include lying in bed watching recorded CNN broadcasts.
  • I will not attempt to justify my wretched love life by touting my online fanclub.
  • I will not be disappointed when I don't get to clerk for that three-day-long civil dispute, even if it means I'd be able to finish all my outstanding fics.
  • I will not help people move into my building just so I can see their stuff and find out if they like or have any comics.
  • I will not move into a new place and hole up in my room reading comics.
  • I will not read fanfic instead of the classic I am supposed to be reading for school.
  • I will not skip class because my seven-month writer's block has broken, no matter how much I want to.
  • I will not spend all of my time reading fanfiction, even if it is more interesting than my real life.
  • I will not spend my whole cash stock just to go up to Winchester to look for Graymalkin Lane.
  • I will not spend Study Hall mapping out a timeline of all Jean Grey's deaths/resurrections/children-that-never-were, even if it is only so I can complain about them all later.
  • I will not write alternate-reality/time travel fic during math class, and I will most certainly not ask the teacher what year it is.
  • I will remember that looking up X-rated pictures of Nightcrawler does not count as a love-life.
  • I will remember that there is no chance in heaven or on earth that I will develop a mutant power.
  • I will remember that yes, "real life" actually does exist. Or so many claim.
  • I will remember to answer to my real name, not my chat one.
  • I will remember to go out and sit in the sun once in a while because I'm getting pale and people might think I'm a vampire.
  • I WILL set aside time to work on the real comic-book mini I'm working on for my friend's new publishing company in New York...
  • I will squelch the upsurge of pride when classmates call me "Net-head" or "Webby."
  • I will stop allowing characters to hijack my brain at three am. No matter how good the dialogue or scene is, sleep is important too.
  • I will stop looking for Genosha, the Savage Land, Wundagore and Madripoor on the world map.
  • The job is there so that I may be able to pay my ISP bill, my VISA bills, and save money in order to buy that hotrod Pentium III with 56 Kbps with which I can retire this old Win95 clunker...
  • Just because my dorm is across the street from the comic store does NOT make up for the fact that all the druggies live on that part of the campus.
  • My Soc and English papers are more important than my fanfic. *grumble*
  • No, classes are not those pesky things that interrupt my fanfic. They're the reason why I'm at school...I need to remember that...
  • Once in a while I will get up from my computer chair and clean the cobwebs off my feet!
  • Real life is a crutch for those who cannot handle fanfiction.
  • "Real Life"...? OH, YEAH! Now, I remember! Haha!
  • Real life? What's that?
  • Sunlight is my friend.
  • That bad smell isn't the dog.
  • There is work to do.
  • There is writing beyond fanfic, like school reports, and resumes, and stuff like that.
  • When my mom starts buying me clothes that she thinks my avatar would wear, it's time to step away from the computer
  • When my parents say "who are you?" after I enter the room, I am probably spending too much time on the Internet.
  • When real life saddles me with responsibilities and obligations that are more important than maintaining and updating the website and writing fan-fiction, I must by all means fulfill those obligations and responsibilities. (Nothing short of full-scale nuclear war or an asteroid impacting the Earth can stop me from returning to Netlife later on!)
  • When the teacher mentions Thor I will resist the temptation to bust out about his crappy Heroes Reborn version.
  • When you comment on the upload speed of the graphics when looking out the window, turn off the computer.
  • Writing about other people's lives does not mean that I have a life, and I cannot claim fictives/characters lives as my own -- people tend to disbelieve me when I talk about "The second time I died" and "The time I first manifested my mutant powers."
  • X-rated Nightcrawler pictures? Where-- I mean -- uh -- oh hell.
  • Yes, those four thousand-word essays, two orals, Macro, QM, and gym tests really are more important than Interneting.


    At The Comic Shop...

  • I will not beat up the crowd of little kids buying Pokemon cards. There's more of them than me and their parents are with them...
  • The comic shop is not a library.
  • Hoping Irene dies slowly is not the only reason to buy Cable.
  • Image Comics also have a right to exist.
  • I must acknowledge the fact that it is unlikely that I may ever get a job writing or drawing characters in the way I'm doing them with fan-fiction.
  • I will cut down so that I don't need two friends to help me carry all my comics home.
  • I will curb the impulse to remind the comic book guy that although I have two of them, my eyes aren't on my chest.
  • I will never ever get lost in the comic shop.
  • I will not attempt to deter others from three-for-a-dollar sales just to cut down competition.
  • I will not bitch and moan about the latest thing Marvel has done -- I will simply not read Marvel any longer .
  • I will not confuse fanfic with "reality" and say things like, "Wait a minute! Doesn't Beast have a kid?!" when I skim the latest volume of X-Men.
  • I will not cry everytime I see Excalibur #120.
  • I will not extend my visit to the comic shop by arguing with the clerk about former writers of X-Force.
  • I will NOT feel embarrassed by my puny pile of comics compared to the other customers' impressive purchases...
  • I will not feel the need to spout my comic savvy just to prove I'm not a Fangirl.
  • I will not get angry when people get pre-boot post-crisis Earth-A Legion of Super-Heroes confused with pre-boot post-crisis Earth-C Legion of Super-Heroes. ("Whadda you mean, 'What's the difference?' His costume is purple instead of red in this issue!")
  • I will not get into heated Purgatori vs. Lady Death debates.
  • I will not get mad when I purchase a comic I already have. I will give it to a friend who doesn't have it.
  • I will not give dirty looks to the people giving me funny looks when I am buying Wolvie comics AND Magic cards.
  • I will not go on a rampant tirade after seeing yet another non-X-title that has an "X" in it.
  • I will not ignore the X-Books simply because they are too confusing. Bob Harras has done SOME good since he started running things...like bringing Cap, the Avengers, and others back to their prime.
  • I will not just read through issues at a comic store, even if I do read really fast and it looks like I'm just browsing...
  • I will not laugh at the Magic nerds. At least, not to their faces.
  • I will not mention what fantastic fanfic I read that day.
  • I will not rummage through the "cheapie bin" a half an hour before the store closes.
  • I will not snicker at the "Look But Don't Read!" signs.
  • I will not spend entire nights digging through my closet for the one elusive comic book that I SWORE I had, but didn't really.
  • I will not spend ten minutes complaining about how much Raab screwed up Excaliber with (okay, sigh at) the cashier.
  • I will not stop and say aloud, "Wait, aren't M and Jubilee together? And isn't Jubilee the Phoenix now anyway?"
  • I will refrain from commenting out loud about certain comics and their respective characters.
  • I will refrain from commenting that I could draw better than some of the "professional" artists. I will not try to find out who they bribed to get their jobs. I will accept the possibility that they may have gotten their jobs legitimately.
  • I will refrain from screaming when I see the likes of Kurt Busiek, Scott Lobdell, and Chris Claremont etc. doing Marvel titles beyond the X-Universe.
  • I will refrain from threatening Bob Harras' life through poerty, art, dramatic interpretations and other forms of artistic self expression. Furthermore, I will remember that large headless sculptures do not Fed-Ex well.
  • I will restrain myself from burning the current Generation X issue.
  • I will remember that art is interpretive.
  • I will remember that burning issues of Excalibur #108 will not bring Amanda back.
  • I will remember that the comic store is not the only store in the mall.
  • I will remember that the comic store owner has other customers to attend to, and really doesn't care about that cool Lady Death vs. Rogue story I posted two days ago.
  • I will remember that there are other books beside comic books. Like comic book related NOVELS!!
  • I will resist the urge to give dirty looks and want to maim other customers when they ask me if I'm actually going to buy that Wolverine comic in my hands. Sheesh...just because I'm a girl...
  • I will restrain my catty pro-Peter-David remarks when I see the X-Factor rack.
  • I will stifle any and all comments about the size of Bishop or Cable's gun before they start.
  • I WILL stop choosing my friends based on their receptiveness to comics.
  • I will stop plotting the death of Rob Liefeld.
  • I will stop reminding people that "Raab" is "a backwards bastard with an STD thrown in." (Really I will.)
  • I will try to curb the desire to jump to the defense of Jubilee whenever people call her a Kitty Pryde rip-off.
  • I will try to put up with other customers when they give me strange looks while I'm looking through comics. (I'm a 22-year-old female, I do have taste!)
  • I will valiantly attempt to suppress my gag reaction when walking past the current Excalibur issues.
  • Just because Awesome won the lawsuit doesn't mean that Fighting American is a dirty piece of copycat crap.
  • Just because you've read about it on the newsgroups doesn't mean that your comic shop owner has heard about it, and don't expect him/her to agree with you about it...
  • I will stop laughing maniacally and telling the shop owner about how I'm going to make Jim Lee draw all the comic books when I take over the world. It's supposed to be a secret.
  • Just because a company rejects my ideas does not jusitify a spree of vandalism and urban terrorism.
  • Just because Marvel is being nasty to my favourite characters does NOT mean I shall carry out my plans to blow up the Marvel buildings with Suzie, after messily slaughtering the writers and pencilers that I disapprove of.
  • Just because the kid behind you in line only comes to buy Magic cards doesn't make him a complete loser
  • People who write letters to the comics that I disagree with do not give their home address so that I may kill them in my leisure time.
  • Phone bills are more important than comics, and so your paycheck should go to the former first. Especially if they're very very large.
  • Shoving someone out of the way to get to the latest and last Sailor Moon manga is BAD.
  • Simply because both myself and my boyfriend are fic-writers and the comic store guys makes inappropriate comments about my fics (and my boyfriend) does not mean I shall kill them. After all, it's the only comic store within fifteen miles of my house.
  • Threatening him with bomb threats won't bring Maduira back onto Uncanny.
  • When buying comics, I will resist the urge to show off my knowledge of the comics to the condescending nerdy guy behind the counter, who looks upon every female comic book buyer as if she were just as dumb as those very realistic Image Comics uberbabes.
  • When discussing Cable's history, I won't get angry. I will simply remind myself "It's Marvel. It isn't SUPPOSED to have continuity."
  • When faced with the Pryde/Wisdom break-up, I will repeat the mantra "Violence never solved anything" until the urge to rend flesh leaves me.
  • When passing a copy of Dawn: Requiem, I will not stop, close my eyes, and say, "What, did Tap kill her AGAIN?"
  • When seeing the new comic shelf a wreck, I will not automatically straighten and put them away. That's the job of the people who work there. I do not get paid for doing this.
  • When walking into a comic store for the first time (after only getting comics from a grocery store), I will not go all glassy eyed, start drooling, and bow down chanting "I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy!"
  • Yes, I know this isn't a library. I don't have to hip-check other customers to get to the books in the library.


    Dealing With Mundanes

  • The guy who works next to me is not Tim from the Books of Magic, any more than my hairdresser is Rogue, my best friend is Dazzler or my teacher is Banshee.
  • I can't fly, I won't try...damn it!
  • I don't have to give EVERYONE I meet the URL to the X-Force FAQ.
  • If I'm going to come out to my sister, there are better ways of doing it than just leaving various issues of "Strangers In Paradise" around my room and hoping that she gets the hint.
  • I have been informed I have a problem and must make some sort of public statement. Therefore: Discussing John Constantine with every person I meet, on line or in RL, is bad form. Therefore, I will stop. Unless someone happens to say, oh, cigarette or London or trenchcoat or gin and tonic or...okay, I won't stop, but I will make an effort to wait for a prompt.
  • I must accept the fact that comicbooks are still a minor entertainment form in the eyes of the public at large.
  • I must remember that I am not really a shadowy figure of power, nor a knight-mage. Therefore I cannot threaten people with assassins or the focused totality of my magickal power.
  • I must remember that nearly all of my friends don't know the latest happenings in the X-Universe!
  • It is illegal to beat up people who insult comic books to the face of someone holding four of them. In the middle of class.
  • I will attempt to remember that rattling off what happened in fictalk when the Lady Scribe and Tappy (fill in all possibilities) means NOTHING to my poor, bewildered friends.
  • I will come up with a plausible lie by the time my parents figure out where I've been going on Wednesdays from noon to three o'clock all these years.
  • I will not attempt to strangle them...I won't, I won't, I won't.
  • I will not call normal people uncreative, unimaginative, hive-minded lemmings to their faces, even if they make it blatantly obvious. I will calm myself, walk away, and call them uncreative, unimatinative, hive-minded lemmings behind their back, instead.
  • I will not e-mail said fic to said neighbor as a warning. They may not find it nearly as amusing.
  • I will not feel the urge to kill when people say the Internet is anti-social and is degrading our society.
  • I will not get impatient with people who don't understand me the tenth time I try to explain the Summers family tree to them.
  • I will not get violent every time some ignorant parent or family reviewer calls the X-Men "a violent mindless boys' cartoon." Okay, maybe just a little.
  • I will not introduce myself as my handle to women in bars.
  • I will not kill anyone who says "Marvel? Didn't they go bankrupt?"
  • I will not kill my birds when they jump all over the keyboard. They are real, and I can't bring them back to life later.
  • I will not look ashamed reading comics on the bus.
  • I will not snap and strangle the people who tell me I shouldn't "waste my time" writing fanfic.
  • I will not strike those who do not read comics with my cane. I will only laugh at them and go off muttering about how I wish I had a pair of those damn bunny slippers about now...
  • I will not try to work my favorite comic book characters into my term paper.
  • I will not use the White Queen as a fashion guide when shopping for presents for my relatives.
  • I will not write my next-door neighbor into a fic and then kill them off simply because they have played the "Titanic" soundtrack at top volume 5,000 times too many.
  • I will not yell at my parents when they refer to my collection as a waste.
  • I will remember it's not their fault they were born ignorant and unimaginative.
  • I will remember that my parents and sister do NOT wish to hear Cable's history three times a day.
  • I will remember that not everyone is interested in comic book fan fiction. I wouldn't want people forcing me to listen to the Backstreet Boys constantly.
  • I will resist the urge to bash peoples' heads in when they only know the X-Men from the cartoon.
  • I will resist the urge to beat my un-comic loving friends over the head. Not only is it nasty, but it would hurt my comics far too much to be worthwhile.
  • I will stop calling "blasphemer" on anyone who doesn't know of Jack Kirby.
  • I will suppress my urge to apologize for certain episodes of the X-Men cartoon and the entire Scott Lobdell run to people who saw/read one of said examples of X-Men lore and based their impressions of the X-Universe on that one traumatic experience.
  • I won't get offended upon being called a comic geek after giving a ten-minute lecture in front of my English class about how this one issue changed my life.
  • I must remember in future that my in-laws are not quite as appreciative of my Dawn-in-lingerie tee-shirt as my friends are.
  • Just because my brother has a wrinkled chin and hates FF doesn't mean he's a Skrull, or does it?
  • Just because my favorite characters maimed/disabled someone in a particularly painful way doesn't mean I should duplicate it on some unsuspecting Mundane -- unless the bastards try and abduct me! Then the kid gloves are off.
  • Just because your best friend doesn't know the suburb where your favorite character lives does not mean she has no life. In fact, it might be a sure sign she does.
  • Mom doesn't appreciate Preacher. Mom will never appreciate Preacher. Leaving Preacher around the house while packing to move when Mom is helping is <serious voice> a Bad Idea. Trying to explain Preacher to Mom is <serious voice> another Bad Idea. Mistake number three would be trying to explain Arseface. (Well, she asked.)
  • "Mon ami" doesn't qualify as an English word. Not only can't I use it on my English paper, I can't use it in class, or my teachers would start to wonder.
  • Mundanes do not "get" Desert Peach. In fact, most comic readers (the straight ones, mostly) don't get it either. So stop trying.
  • Mundanes will not always know what you are doing with your time online, nor will they be guaranteed to accept your choice of writing fan-fiction if you decide to go blurting it out to everyone at the holiday parties or family reunions for all to hear.
  • My family can't possible understand just how much I hate the word "Storm." Otherwise, they wouldn't say it so often.
  • Not everybody likes comics.
  • Not everyone is interested in hearing about my Gen-X Challenge stuff...glassy eyes are usually a pretty good indicator...
  • Not everyone knows what IIRC, IMHO and BRB stand for, and they should not be used when conversing with/writing to mundanes.
  • Remember: Not knowing the history of the Summerses, Cassidys and Darkholmes in detail does not make one an illiterate idiot.
  • When being introduced to someone, I will not automatically think of which comic book character or fictive he/she most resembles physically.
  • When my parents inform me that I am "too smart to be reading those darn comic books," I will restrain myself from telling them that my reading books like "The Sandman" is a sure sign of my being intelligent in the first place.
     

    SECTION #4: READERS ONLY


    Bad Reader!

  • Every story deserves a chance. Even if it is about Cyclops. Who knows -- I may wind up liking them. Sort of. (Case in point: Kaylee's "Seeing Red")
  • From now on, I promise not to hoard new fiction on my computer.
  • If an author asks me to NOT give public feedback, I will keep my opinion to myself or simply email it privately.
  • I know it is not realistic to expect a writer to have a new chapter out every day.
  • I may like Rogue and Gambit together, but I will not criticize/threaten with serious bodily harm other writers who do not share these views.
  • I will at least LOOK at the summary, instead of using the title to decide its readability.
  • I will give Gambit a chance, I will give Gambit a chance, I will give Gambit a chance -- someday
  • I will learn that some writers would like to hear praise to their faces, not just from my mind.
  • I will not forget that, no matter how lousy I think a character is, there is someone out there who likes him/her. But I am not obligated to ponder why.
  • I will not ignore the violence warnings on a story and then complain about how gory it is.
  • I will not ignore all Gambit/Rogue fanfics despite the oversupply.
  • I will not laugh when I read the phrase "de-briefing."
  • I will not shout "He's dead Jim!" whenever someone refers to Beast as Dr. McCoy.
  • I will not snub people who write about overused characters.
  • I will NOT tell a writer that the story stank because it was based on characters I don't care for, regardless of how well the story was written. (On the other hand, I can say that I wasn't interested...)
  • I will not threaten Red Monster with the threat of a "tumping geezer" or other such nonsense when I do not like her stories.
  • I will not willingly ramble just to make it look like I spent a long time writing a response. They already know I care.
  • I will read Cable Fic. And not just because because I like Ali.
  • I will read stories for something other than the characters they feature.
  • I will read the parts as the author posts them, instead of reading the first fifteen and waiting till part 42 to finish.
  • I will resist the temptation to despise a story just because my favorite character is a villain in it. He is, after all, a villain in the comic books.
  • I will respond if my favorite writers beg for feedback. I will make good on my promises to comment. I will. I will. What?
  • I will send at least a small note of approval to the writer of any story I enjoy.
  • I will try not to infodump in my feedback just because I happen to've read something on the subject recently...
  • I will visit other pages besides Lori's for once.
  • I won't dismiss a fic just 'cause it's Rogue/Gambit.
  • Just because it involves Pete Wisdom doesn't mean it sucks.
  • Never, NEVER rant about fan-fiction stories you have barely read, nor should you make suggestions to an unmoderated newsgroup or archive about what to do with certain types of fan-fiction that may offend you (you don't have to read what you don't like, either)...
  • When I wish to compliment an author on their wonderful story, I must actually write to them.
  • When my eyelids are doing a slow waltz across my eyes and my chin is level with the keyboard, it's time to stop reading and go to bed.
     

    SECTION #5: ARCHIVISTS ONLY


    Bad Archivist!

  • Alert boxes are annoying and useless, so I will not use them.
  • Having an archive does not mean that I get to keep all the stories to myself. I will put them on my page. That is what it is there for.
  • I do not need to use Java, no matter how pretty and shiny it looks on other pages.
  • If a writer submits a story to my site with serious grammatical errors, I will not succumb to the temptation to completely rewrite their story for them.
  • I have to do the site, I have to do the site, I have to do the site...
  • I will actually email authors to get fanfic, instead of posting pathetic pleas for material on my fanfic page.
  • I will bite my tongue and be nice when faced with yet another Rogue and/or Gambit site/story.
  • I will keep it all under four megs. I will keep it all under four megs. I will keep it all under four megs...
  • I will remember that there is a difference between the < and the > tags in HTML. I will use each appropriately.
  • I will not feel guilty because I need time to reorganize things and therefore, cannot take any new stories. I will not feel guilty because there is no way in hades I can read/archive every single X-Men story on the net. I will not feel guilty...
  • I will not get hysterical when I get 'Connection timed out' or something similar when I try to access my website to work on it.
  • I will not kill the writer I asked for her story, when she asked me to grab the four seventy-page monsters, off the web. After all, it'll only take a couple of hours to reformat and reload via Front Page, and due to my own learning at this. She doesn't MEAN to give me a migraine...
  • I will not ignore new stories to my archive for weeks or months.
  • I will not take up nearly ten megs of space in my home directory to save stories without at least starting the HTML work for a webpage.
  • I will post that lovely fifteen-chapter story which I sought after before I go off to college!
  • I will spend time on the archive instead of replying to the eight million emails from people who wonder why I haven't updated.
  • I will try to always remember that 99.999 percent of the people who submit to my site are great and try their best to do things right. That there is actually a very low percentage that want to drive me nuts. /-)
  • I will not avoid including a story with an update simply because it takes more work to format than most other stories. Every story deserves a chance.
  • I will not turn feedback into an excuse to ask permission to archive a story.
  • <TYPE> I will not turn my actions into HTML code. </TYPE>
  • Just because I like one of my archives better than the other is no reason to update one every two weeks and the other every three months.
  • Just because the ISP which provides me with webspace doesn't want erotica on their directories doesn't mean that I can't do it; there are still a few ISPs that will let me do it, and I can always contact someone else willing to take erotica submissions from me.
  • More webspace is NOT an excuse for more websites!
  • My pages will not update themselves. But I'm working on it.
  • Thou shalt stop trying to weasel x-rated pictures onto g-rated servers. No matter HOW artistic said pictures might be.
  • Upon getting the 999th letter that day of people asking, "Do you have submission guidelines? Where are they?" I will not slam my keyboard into the wall. I will also try my darnest to remember that I never said being able to find the submission guidelines was a requirement for submitting.
  • When I ask to archive a story, and the author says yes, I will archive it.
  • When I say that I will update a fan website about a character just as soon as a major plotline involving said character is resolved, I will remember that said character appears in a poorly-written X-Book, where nothing is ever resolved. I will then attempt to update said website at least once every six months.
  • When someone e-mails me and insists that I change the entire format of my archive because she doesn't like it, I will remember that I can't strangle her -- if only because I can't reach through the monitor. :)
     

    Contributors: Abyss, Alara Rogers, Alyson Hurt, Amythyst, Ana/Lyssie, Anjel X, Anonymous (2), Arcadia Skywalker, Arsenal, Asparagirl, Aurora Borealis, badb, Bean Nighe, Belle, Blue, Blue Canary, Brooke, Carmen "Yujon3D" J. Bernardo, The Cabbage Wielding Angel of Death, Carolyn "Contrail" Vaughan, Celendra, Chandri, Christina Knight, CodaVoodoo, Court Jester, Crackers, Cynjen, DarkMark, Darqstar, Denise Keppel, Dex, Draven, Dyce, Elena Zovatto, Emily, Erik "Packrat" Bell, Eric Scott "Falstaff" Gratton, Firebird, Flyboy, Frito Muncher, Frustratedly Unpublished, Gabriel, Hellions Pizza, the Icehole, Image, Indigo, Jade, J.B.McD., Jenni, Jim R. McBriarty, Johnny Tracker, JVButlerJr, Kielle, Kieran, Kitty, Keegan, K-Nice, Junkmail, Lady Seraph, Laersyn, Leary, Lee, Lily, Lynx, Loni Kingrey, Madrigal Swan, Mandy "Harlequin" Lever, Marion Ros, Maureen, Mearl Dox, Melodist, Menshevik, Mice, Michelle, Morning, Mystique, Northlight, Nova Adams, Pamela Thalner, Phil Hartman, Quamp, Queen Jubes, Quidam, Rayhne, Red Monster, RhiannonAmaris, Rick, Riven, River, Rossi, Sabre, SabreBabe, Samy Merchi, Sarlight, Sean Duggan, Seraph, Shardarch, Shard, Silvanis, Skyrocket, Sky Tiger, Smoot, Snowy Icicles, Somer Rahne, Spartacus,Stormdance, Sunset, Suzene Campos, Tam175, Tapestry, Terrie,Threnody, Trumpetlee, Twiller, T Wilde, Yasmin M.