Part 1: Particularities

• Does the Mary Sue have the same name as you? This includes middle name, nickname, chat/IRC name, names you would like to have if you could choose and names of your current and/or future child or pet.
• Does the Mary Sue share your ethnic group?
  • and it's not a very common one?
  • and this will be a plot point?
• Does the Mary Sue have the same job as you? This includes hobbies, and it also includes jobs you would like to have when you are older/in other life/when you finish your degree etc. It does not include being a parent. NOTE: Does not apply to doctors, nurses or EMT's if the Mary Sue is one of those. But it does apply if you're a firefighter.
• Is the Mary Sue the long-lost lover/child/brother/sister of an established character*?
  • If lover, extra point if they are in an established relationship** now.
  • Extra point if the lover is the same age as you
  • If child, extra point if they are in an established relationship and the partner doesn't know about the child
  • Extra point if the child is the same age as you, or your sister/brother/child/grandchild etc.

* Established characters include anyone who has ever appeared in the opening credits or guest credits. Does not include un-credited parts, e.g. Billy Blanks' walk-on.
** Established relationships: Any relationship lasting more than one episode, that happened ON SCREEN (e.g. Doug/Carol, Benton/Cleo, Mark/Elizabeth but NOT Carter/Kerry because they may have chemistry but have never acted on it, in spite of a loyal fan following that wants them to).

Part 2: Medical Characters (skip this if your character is a patient)

• Does the character have more than one specialty? E.g. she's really a surgeon but takes ER shifts just for fun.
• Does s/he have only one specialty, but during the story s/he discovers a previously unknown talent for some other area? E.g. an ER doc who stuns them all with her unusual aptitude for surgery.
• Does her position replace that of a known character? E.g. the story begins with "now that Romano is gone and Mary-Sue is the chief..."
• Does this replacement serve no dramatic purpose except to eliminate a character you don't really like?
• And does the Mary Sue wind up dating/sleeping with a character you DO like, whom the original character would never go near with a ten-foot-pole?
• Is the Mary Sue a maverick rule-breaker, but gets away with it because s/he is unusually smart, talented or pretty/handsome?
• Does the Mary Sue have a mysterious, surprising, shady, "bad" or traumatic past?
  • Which she reveals to your favourite character during a key moment?

Part 3: Patient Characters

• Does the Mary Sue have a medical condition, which you share?
  • Is it a rare or unusual one?
  • Does she have to explain it to your favourite character, who has not previously heard of it?
  • And is someone else's life saved as a result?
• Does the Mary Sue have a medical condition, which you share -- and s/he dies of it?
  • Even though it is not usually fatal?
  • If the s/he dies, is she mourned by all?
  • For more than one paragraph?
• Does s/he date/have sex with your favourite character? Count two points if said character is already involved in an established relationship.
  • Extra point if it is a slash relationship and the character has shown no previous inclinations -- e.g. Doug or Mark, who have dated women exclusively.

Appendix: Really Bad Cliches That Automatically Flunk You

• Writing a fic with the actor, not the character -- e.g. Mary Sue does X with Anthony Edwards. Anthony Edwards is a real person whose feelings could theoretically be hurt. Mark Greene is pretend, so we can play with him.
• Not doing your research. If it's a future or past fic, or even an alternate reality fic, yes, you can change the name of the hospital, make Benton childless, and whatever else. But if it's set in the here and now and the only reason you're making it up is 'cause you're too lazy to do the research -- um, no.
• Same goes for ignoring the little details: I once read a fic that began with "By the way, I don't remember what Kerry's house looked like so I made it up because it's my story." Um, no. We have seen at least parts of Kerry's house so you cannot make it up. And you cannot begin the story with Kerry moving just so you can put her in a different house and thereby get out of doing your research.
• Unless you're posting to a beta-reader/editor/critique list: poor spelling and grammar are very sloppy. Yes, fanfic is all for fun and you can get away with it -- but if you're aiming for a quality fic, it'll only get there if you put in some work.
• Writing fics is the present tense. Number one, past tense is an established literary style. It sounds better. Number two, it sounds awkward unless you're writing in teleplay format. Use past tense, trust me.
• Using inappropriate slang. If you're not American, you need to consider this like research. Americans do not call their apartments "flats." You CANNOT have any ER character except Elizabeth do this. And if you're American, you'll need to do research if you're writing stories with Elizabeth: it works both ways. The only exception is local spellings: all you loyal Canucks who want to use the "hyBrit" spellings, feel free. Just make the dialogue sound right, please.

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