Note from author: Everything stated below is a joke. Please don't take this seriously. I don't own DBZ, but I would like to own Mimbo Trunks. =)
-- Noseless

Open Scene:

Mary Sue is sitting in front of the TV screen with two of her girlfriends watching DBZ and talking about how cute "Veggie-kun" is when he's in the shower and wondering what Piccolo looks like naked. We'll just call the two friends Mary's Friend #1 and Mary's Friend #2 since they're obviously jealous of Mary's perfection, therefore threats to her popularity anyway. Plus, making up real names for them would require too much time and I've got to get this finished in under 30 minutes or it won't be a real Mary Sue.

Mary's Friend #1: "Are those pink spots on his body everywhere?"
Mary's Friend #2: "Isn't Gohan-chan kawaii?"
Mary shouts: "Hai, arigatou!" (Because she thinks arigatou means "I love him") "But I want Trunks!"
Mary's Friend #1: "No! I get Trunks!"
Mary: "No! I do! He's mine! I'm two days older than you are and more mature!"

Roughly, a pillow fight ensues (oops, I used a big word) I mean...starts...and feathers fly everywhere. Mary's Friend #1 passes out because her newly-painted toenails are ruined by the feathers.

All of the sudden, Mary Sue and both of her friends get zapped into the TV because of some freak radiation overload caused by Mary's brother using the microwave with the door open. No more explanation is given since Mary Sue spends her Science period doing her hair.

NOW IN DBZ LAND (No time to undo the caps...I've only got 28 minutes!)

Mary's Friend #1: "Oh no! We're in DBZ land"
Mary & Mary's Friend #2: "Gasp!"
Mary looks down: "Hey, how come I have a tail and you guys don't?"
Mary's Friend #1: "Not fair!"
Mary's Friend #2: "Hey, look at how big our breasts are!"
Everyone: "Yay! Now we're finally women even though we're only 16!"
Mary looks over the hill: "I think I see Capsule Corp! Let's go there and see Trunks!"

Mary's Friends agree eagerly, and take off running. Mary tries, but suddenly takes off in flight.

Mary: "Hey, how come I can fly and you guys can't?!"
Friends: "No fair!"

Suddenly, for no reason at all, Trunks runs up to them. He nods his head politely at the two friends, but stares at Mary, a blush coming to the surface of his cheeks. Silently, he thinks (yeah, he can think without making noises) "Wow...what a beautiful woman and a Sajin-yan too! She's so unlike all the plausible girlfriends I could ever have...and look at how big her breasts are!"

Mary: "Hey, how come I can read your thoughts and my friends can't?"
Friends: "No fair!"
Trunks: *Gasp* "We must have a Sajiyan-jan bond!"

Trunks has a flashback of when Piccolo told him a story. No more detail is given, but is articulated (oops...stupid big words) told in cheap dialogue.

Trunks: "Hey! Piccolo told me a story about you! He said that a chosen one would come from another dimension!"

Mary, who has on a soft (but not too soft) blue angora sweater from Macy's, a short skirt that ends 3.5 and1/9 of an inch above her knee, nude-color stockings with a reinforced toe, 1.756 inch high black, leather pumps with straps that go to her ankles, a satin lavender under-wire triple-D bra that matches Trunks' hair that she bought at Victoria's, a black choker with a little silver bunny-shaped charm, nails long enough to look sexy (but not the five-dollars-for-a-night-of-fun sexy) painted in rotation blue, purple, and black, and her hair up in a classic French twist, stares at Trunks blankly.

Trunks: "Mary!"
Mary: "What?"
Trunks: "Did you hear me?"
Mary: "No, I was thinking about this dress that I have that would match your hair perfectly! It has a 2.678653 inch strap, a..."
Trunks: "No time for over-descriptive paragraph-long clothing explanations that nobody really cares about! If this isn't finished in 30 minutes or less, it won't be a Mary Sue!"
Mary: "Hey, you know my name!"
Trunks: "That's because we have a Sauyian-jim bond!"
Mary's Friends: "No fair!"

Trunks ignores them, they aren't really important anyway and are threats to Mary Sue's popularity: "Piccolo said that he trained you! If a Namek who isn't even strong enough to defeat Freeza trained you, then you MUST be good! You have to help!"
Mary: "But I don't remember..."
Trunks: "No time for plot explanations! Freeza's nieces' friend's uncle's brother's father's cousin's old room mate is back for revenge! None of us experienced fighters can beat him. We need the help of an inexperienced, over-glorified, sixteen-year-old girl with big breasts!"
Mary: "Okay!"

Mary flies off in Trunks' arms (even though she can fly) to Capsule Corp where Goku, Gohan, Goten, GT Trunks, Bra (Mary's hero, idol and worshipped goddess), Pan (worthless whore), Marron (slut), Krillin, Yamucha, Vegeta, Piccolo, Chaozu, Tien, Master Roshi, Bulma, Chichi, Videl, Mr. Satan, Mr. Buu, Bee, Oolang, Puar, Mr. Popo, Dende, Korin, Yajarobie, Ubuu, and the announcer guy from the Tenkaichi boudakai are all lying almost dead. Mary cries for them, even though she's a dub fan and has never even seen most of the people lying on the ground.

Trunks: "It's okay, Mary. Pan and Marron are scamps anyway. I'll always love you. You are the light of my heart. Let me sing you this song, dedicated to your endless beauty... so much more beautiful than your other two friends."

Trunks gets down on one knee and begins:

"Every night in my dreams, I see you, I feel you. That is how I know you go on. Far across the distance and spaces between us, you have come to show you go on..."

Mary: "I didn't know you could sing!"
Trunks: "I don't normally, but I would do anything for you, love."

Mary makes out with Trunks for a few moments. Forty-five minutes later, she walks over to Freeza's niece's friend's uncle's brother's father's cousin's old roommate (who has sat patiently as Trunks and Mary expressed their love) and punches him in the face. Instantly, he explodes.

Later, Trunks and Mary wish everyone healthy with the dragon balls. At a party held in her honor later that day, Mary announces that she's pregnant with Trunks' baby, even though they never really had sex and she's only sixteen. They also announce that they have a Sajinayeoscarmyerwiener-jin bond.

Vegeta walks up to Mary and gives her a rose to symbolize the love that he feels for his new daughter in law. Mary says something poetic at the end, stolen by whichever Leonardo DiCaprio movie she saw last, as she rocks her baby to sleep.

Mary's Friends were never heard from again.

Author's note: Sorry for making you endure that. It's amazing what the human mind can come up with when the person's sick and in the mood to make a statement... Thank you Mel Brooks, The Simpsons, and Monty Python!

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