The white spotless university glistened as Sailor Leo (in Genius form, complete with glasses and lab coat...I have many forms, one of my trademarks) steps onto the stage. She snaps her fingers, and a podium and posterboard appear behind her. She steps onto the stage and the fellow authors stop whispering.

Leo: Fellow authors! It is time for me to address a situation!

Audience: (mumbles) A situation? Which one? I don't know of any!

Leo: There has been an increase in the amount of logic! People are finally realizing that there is no way Trunks/Pan can exist! (Another essay I wrote, yet don't feel like posting.) Unfortunantly, some people still seem to hate Marron by the explicit and terrible propaganda, and so are reluctant to give Trunks to her. (a double line graph shows on the board) Thus, the amount of Trunks/Pan fanfictions have decreased, Mary Sues have increased. Are there any questions or concerns?

Random Author 1: What's a Mary Sue?

Leo: That's a good question. A Mary Sue is a self-created character that the author creates, trying to represent his/herself, and making their favorite character fall in love with them. There are some sick twisted stories out there, and I am here to warn you of these.

RA 2: How do we know if he/she IS a Mary Sue?

Leo: Yet another good question. First, there is a very easy type. (Leo pulls down a picture of Nova, from the story "Tree Of Might.") This girl is named Nova. The author of the story is named Nova Of Life. Coincidence? I think not. It's about, well, this girl is taken aboard her favorite character's ship, Turles...and...well, let's not get into that. Notice the long black hair? Ninety percent of Mary Sues have them. Many of these Mary Sues are full-blooded Saiyans, but this is an exception. She is, instead, a kind of Amazon, who is the last of a dead planet... Don't we have enough of those?

There are several cards played in Mary Sues. There's the "strong" card, which make them stronger than the whole Son family. There's the "sympathy" card, which is usually they're the last of a dying race, or have been through some tramatic and horrible ordeal that they usually never tell anybody but their favorite character. Then there's the "Ungodly Impossible So Damn Pretty With Big Breasts That I Want To Punch In The Face" card. The name of that card is self explanatory. =^^=

Then, occasionally there's the "past" card. This is where the Mary Sue is usually a long-lost friend from the past that they forgot about. (grumble) Yeah right... (grins stupidly) These are probably friends or ex-girlfriends that the target bishonen had when they were babies or a long time ago, but they forgot about until the beginning of the story.

And occasionally, they play the "death" card. In this they die a long, horrible death, which is kind of like the sympathy card...here's a random one:

Trunks: Mary Sue! You gave your life, your soul, to beat that monster that appeared for no reason, and even though I've known you for five minutes, I..I..I love you.
Mary Sue: Trunks, I really did love you... (chokes up blood) Goodbye, and don't forget me! (dies)
Trunks: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WHY? WHY!

Leo: Usually these types of Mary Sues are escaped...well...erm.. *cough-sexslaves-cough*

PV: (smirking deviously, clinging on to Forau) What did you say, Leo?

Leo: (obviously uncomfortable) Er...sex slaves... (various snickers are heard in the background) Damn you PV. (rolls up the picture)

Now, that covers the basic ones. Then there's the "Our-Crappy-Dimension" Mary Sue. Normally, these Mary/Larry Sues travel in groups, where they are magically transported to their favorite show, DBZ. Most cases, they develop a fast romance with Trunks or Goten, or whoever the hell they like. Normally, one of these peoples come in and they have a tail and can fly for no apparent reason. Then the guys usually have the "I'm scared so I'm going to kill you but you're so pretty" attitude, and the girls are usually like "whatever" and the guys become potentially dangerous stalkers.

Trunks (in audience): Hehehehe, but I got 'em all! (You see millions of girls who all have long black hair and some have tails.) SWEEEET!

Leo: (glare) Anyway, then there are the small minor Mary Sues, which are the best. They are sometimes used to help along a romance, to give advice or something, but they are usually disguised as slaves or as the brother/sister of the main character.

All: If we insert our own author forms, is that Mary Sue?

Leo: No, as long as you're in author form, and use it solely in ONLY HUMOR!

RA 3: How do I avoid my own character from becoming a Mary/Larry Sue?

Leo: Perfect question! If a character MUST be you, for godsakes, BE BLUNT! NO romances with your favorite character no matter HOW tempted you are. Avoid the strong silent type, 'cause we got enough of those... (Points to a corner of a room with Piccolo, Vegeta, and various other Mary-Sues standing with him trying to be tough, but all have sad eyes.)

If you have a self-created character, make 'em look normal, not like a goddess. And the main rule? NO ONE is stronger than Goku, or his family, except that weak-ass Pan. (grins stupidly) Ehehe, I wont bring anyone into this mess... Now, any more questions?

Goku: Is the pizza here yet?

Leo: (sweatdrop) Yes...

All: YAY! (They storm out of the classroom in clouds of paper. Leo picks one up. It's a sketch that's obviously been edited from "super-glamorous long-haired sad-eyed" to "short red hair, a bit larger waist, and cheery looking." Leo smiles.)

Leo: And I don't personally FLAME any authors, I just ask how T/P G/B can be possible.

PV: Why the fuck does anyone care anyway? It seems a stupid thing to argue about who Trunks ends up with...when everyone KNOWS it's Marron...just kidding...I don't give a damn. Trunks could love Mr. Popo for all I care..he could be gay with Goten and I'd be a happy trooper!! Yeah! I could start T/G! Imagine the chaos that would cause...hehe...

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