Lord Of The Rings Clichés

By Yoko Albatou
(yoko_albatou@hotmail.com)


You have got to have known this was coming. For some reason, I feel like screaming every time I come up with this, as I am afraid of all the Orlando Bloom fans. But, I have decided, it must be done.

Please note I am one of the people who have been here since the Harry Potter file had been only three pages. I know clichés when I see them.

Now, I shall tell of the most over-used plot: LEGOLAS ROMANCE

Think about it, it's every girl's dream to go out with Legolas. Or Aragorn, but there is very few, if any, of those. Let's write about it one more freaking' time people! Yeah, I'll join the long list of ORLANDO BLOOM lovers! Come on, I enjoy a very nicely written fanfiction, but at least the ideas that use slash are original. I've seen enough of these to last me a lifetime, Legolas/Me Ships that is.

There are the cute and funny simple ones, and there are the honest-to-god ones that make you say, "Please, hand me the fanfiction you copied this from?"

How many times has an authoress been plopped down into this wonderful world, wonderfully dubbed Middle-Earth, just to become, blonde, attractive, and have Legolas fall in love with her? They are mortals, no less. I can read fics like this if the character is not from a different timeline, and one where the Legolas's affection is named Winters. (Great fic, I forgot the author though..)

And now, I shall tell you how to create this wonderful fic, in three easy ways, and you shall learn how to create the wonderful Legolas/Author (ess) fanfiction.

Let's begin with the beginning: You go to Middle-Earth, and Legolas looks at you more then anybody else.

Middle: You are attacked by orcs. Legolas saves you, and you kiss him.

End: You live happily-ever-after in Mirkwood, and you somehow become an elf so you can spend all of your days together.

That's the typical Mary-Sue type of fic, which these most clearly are. It was a good idea the first time, it was okay the second time, and we were sick of it the third time.

Next Issue: Something else that ticks Yoko off.


A/N: This is not meant to bash well written Legolas fics, this is just me displaying my growing impulse that Mary-Sues have over-run LoTR FF. Does not mean to offend the people who actually LOVE LEGOLAS!

Disclaimer: All chara. From Lord Of The Rings belongs to Tolkien are whatever.


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