> How to turn $6 into $6,000!
"MIZ FROST!"
"Jubilation, must you yell?"
"But look at what someone posted to C-Fan, your headmastermistressship."
*sigh* "Is Dex trying to dress Tapestry like Betsy again?"
"Nah, that!"
"Oh... spam... Jubilation, we need to fix this."
> READING THIS COULD CHANGE YOUR LIFE!
"Yes. Reading this could make you a mindless sheep permenantly, suited only for a career in Amway or X-Force."
"That's cold, Miz F."
> I found this on a bulletin board and decided to try it. A little
while
> back, I was browsing through newsgroups,
"Such as alt.sex.sailors-dressed-as-mom..."
"How do you know about that, your Whiteness?"
"Silence, Jubilation."
> just like you are now, and came across an article similar to this that said
> you could make thousands of dollars within weeks with only an initial
> investment of $6.00!
"He's buying a pack of condoms and selling himself to lepers?"
"I think even lepers have some taste."
> So I thought, "Yeah right, this must be a scam",
"And you were right."
> but like most of us, I was curious, so I kept reading. Anyway, it said that
> you send $1.00 to each of the 6 names and address stated in the
> article. You then place your own name and address in the bottom of the list
> at #6, and post the article in at least 200 newsgroups.
"Designed to annoy the maximum number of decent people and interrupt their enjoyment of the net with your usaless prattle."
"Make me wanna send him money, chief."
> (There are thousands)
"I had thought that was the total of hygenie problems you sufffer from."
"Just a little penicilin, Miz F."
"Jubilation!"
"Com'on, Frosty! Ya can't hang with Havok for a few months and not learn all about this stuff."
"Point taken."
> No catch, that was it. So after thinking it over, and talking to a few
> people first, I thought about trying it. I figured: "what have I got to
> lose except 6 stamps and $6.00, right?"
"Your dignity and self respect?"
"Any chance of ever being anything but a total dweeb?"
> Then I invested the measly $6.00. Well GUESS WHAT!!...
"That $6 was sucked in and I was left feeling uneffective, useless, and ashamed... just like on my Honeymoon night."
"Ya think any woman would ever marry this twit?"
"Mail order bride spam is common on the net as well."
> within 7 days, I started getting money in the mail! I was shocked!
"Since all I ever get in the mail usually is coupons and my monthly 'Nude Grannys' issue."
> I figured it would end soon, but the money just kept coming in. In my first
> week, I made about $25.00. By the end of the second week I had made a total
> of over $1,000.00! In the third week I had over $10,000.00 and it's still
> growing.
"Just like any festering sore on a dirty section of flesh."
"Ya keep bringin' up flesh, your Coldness."
"Jubilation, unless you have useful scorn to heap on this... creature, do stay quiet."
> IMPORTANT: This is not a rip-off;
"Yes, it is."
> it is not indecent;
"It's worse than Frosty's first date wear."
> it is not illegal; and it is virtually no risk - it really works!!!!
"If you know lots of idiots."
> Here are the 4 easy steps to success:
"Step one. Delete this e-mail."
> STEP 1: Get 6 separate pieces of paper and write the following on each
> piece of paper "PLEASE PUT ME ON YOUR MAILING LIST."
"Then, send this to every child porn site and law official you know. We
garuantee fast results."
> Mail the 6 envelopes to the following addresses:
"Jubilation?"
"Already copying, mein Furher."
"Good. And you will-"
"-send Wolvie the names and addresses, telling him that each of them propositioned me for anal sex on a chat room."
"Well done. That should end any further pollution of C-Fan's message board."
"How can ya be sure?"
"Because things like people who post spam being forced to eat their own nose by a large Canadian psychopath tends to get around a community, Jubilation."
"Right."
FIN