Mike stands on the bridge drinking a mug of coffee and talking with Crow. Tom Servo enters with a clipboard stuck on his hand.

"Hey, guys, wanna sign my petition?" Servo asks. Mike takes the clipboard from his hand.

"What's this about, Servo?" he asks.

"What's it about, Mike?" Servo begins in his long-winded way. "Why it's about preserving our way of life. It's about smiting the injustices that we are forced to endure every day of our tortured existence. It's about standing up for ourselves in a world that wants us to fall on our faces. It's about..."

"Servo, will you just get to the point," Crow barks.

"Gentleman, I am speaking about the law of gravity."

"Oh. Whaaa?"

"Yeah. The law of gravity. I'm lobbying to have it repealed."

Mike takes a pen off the top of the clipboard and starts to scribble his name. "Well, OK, I guess that makes sense -- no WAIT! What am I doing?" He drops the clipboard on the desk. "Servo, why would you want to repeal the law of gravity?"

"Well it makes perfect sense when you think about it, Mike," Servo explains. "You would never again fall on your skinny little butt when you rollerblade around the kitchen. You could walk through a slightly opened door without the slightest fear of having a bucket of water crash on your head. Belts, suspenders and clothes hangars would all become obsolete. Why, just consider the possibilities, Mike!"

"But...none of those things really affect me, Tom," Mike says.

Servo continues excitedly. "No more embarrassing juggling accidents with your priceless fabregé eggs. No more dropping your high school yearbook in load pan bay."

"Oh, I get it," Crow says as he catches on. "So if someone were to, let's say, throw Mike's TV off the hoverdeck, it wouldn't be smashed to bits."

"Exactly," Servo says, "and his collection of Star Trek commemorative plates would not have even the slightest, teensiest chip if someone were to, I don't know, fail at his attempts at plate spinning."

Crow and Servo continue to babble back and forth eagerly. Mike turns to stare at the 'bots, and they abruptly stop talking.

"You two trashed my room again, didn't you?"

"Actually, Mike," Servo says, "when you think about it, gravity trashed your room." Crow bumps into Mike and bangs into the mug that Mike has picked up.

"Hey, no more spilling coffee on Mike's jumpsuit!"

"Give it up, Crow, Mrs. F's calling."

"Hello, Nelson," Pearl sneers at the group. "Servo, did I hear you presuming to abolish a law? Have you forgotten that I am the supreme lawgiver around here?"

Bobo trots up behind Pearl. "I don't know, lawgiver, it could be kind of fun. Remember last month when you repealed the law of the jungle?" He beats his fists on his chest and gives a weak imitation of a Tarzan yell. "OOOOH AOOH AOOH!"

"Or the month before that when you eliminated the law of cause and effect?" Brain Guy pipes up.

Pearl turns around and growls at both of them. Bobo and Brain Guy cringe and back away.

"Well, Nelson," Pearl continues, "it's funny that you were talking about the law because the torture that I am going to inflict on you today is so brutal that it should be illegal. But, I'm the lawgiver around here, so it's not." She smiles. "Anyhoo, we're going with a little something different today. Your experiment is a lovely little graphic novel from Marvel thrown together by Jay Faerber, Terry Dodson and Rachel Dodson, and created by Scott Lobdell and Chris Bachalo."

Mike and the 'bots gasp. "You don't mean..."

"That's right, Mike, it's Generation X #49, and it is going to cause you a lot of pain. Have fun!"

"Ohhhhhhh, we've got comic book sign......"

6..5..4..3..2..1. Mike and the 'bots enter the theater and sit down.

> Stan Lee Presents Generation X: Trophies

Mike: What, they have trophies now? The action figures weren't enough?
Servo: Oh great. Yeah, well I guess the book just wouldn't be complete without the opening crotch-shot of the big snow loony.

> Man in hockey/hunting/ninja outfit: Hmmph. These are fresh.

Crow: Baked special for you this morning!
Mike: Time to make the doughnuts.

> Man: I've been following you for a LONG time, and now I'm so close
> I can TASTE you. Heh.

Mike: Oh, he must be one of those Canadians.
Servo: No, Mike, that's "eh?"
Crow: Is it me, or did he gain fifty pounds since the last panel?

> Man: Oh, Yeah. DEFINITELY close. Map I studied earlier says this is the MASSACHUSSETTS ACADEMY, some school for "special" rich kids. Snobs.

Servo: Young Republicans.

> Man: You'll be better off with me. TRUST me.

Crow: Sure, what's not to trust about a creepy overweight psycho lurking around campus in the dead of winter?

> Maggott: JONO, boet! Pasop! You're supposed to be BLOCKING
> him, man! ANGELO was right - you are VROT!

Servo: Uhh, Mike, did the book suddenly lapse into another language?
Mike: Yeah, they do that a lot at Marvel.

> Jono: ~Remind me AGAIN why I got paired with the NEW kid?~

Mike (as Everett) Um, 'cause you're a depressing freak and nobody likes you?

> Everett: SWISH! Aw, COME on! MAGGOTT's all right!

Crow: He actually felt he had to say "swish?"

> ANGELO, your turn to take it out, buddy!
> Angelo: Ummm... Riiight.

Servo: I guess Angelo must've gotten hold of the Antonio Banderas image inducer.

> Hey, Maggott? Did I hear that your...PETS...can, like eat through
> ANYTHING?

Mike: He probably didn't hear it with all the yelling that's going on. Do they really have to shout every other word?

> Maggott: You mean EANY and MEANY?

Crow: (as Angelo) You mean there's OTHER scuzzy vermin around?! I'm outta here! (Crow attempts to leave the theater. Mike forces him back in his seat.)

> You bet they can! But they only chomp on what daddy tells 'em to...

Servo: "Daddy?"

Mike looks at Crow, who just shakes his head.

Crow: Even I won't touch that one, Mike.

>...And you're not on the menu...YET.

Mike (as Angelo): Good, 'cause I really should marinate for a few hours first.

> Angelo: That makes me feel SO much better...MAGGOTT.

Crow: Cretin.
Mike: Vermin.
Servo: Insecta Diptera Immaturis. (Mike and Crow stare at Servo). What?

And speaking of that...what's up with your NAME? Why would you WANNA answer to "Maggott," MAGGOTT?

> Maggott: "SKIN," it doesn't matter what you call the PACKAGE if
> what's INSIDE is FIXED UP.

Mike: Bleeecchh! Hey, I just ate!
Servo: You know, I don't even wanna know what's on his inside if the giant larvae wouldn't even stay there.

> Angelo: I just ATE, Okay?

Mike: Told ya.

> Here, you take it out.

Crow: Maybe to dinner and a movie or something.
Servo: Anything's gotta be better than the "girls" he's got now.

> Maggott: I - WHOA!

Crow (as Maggott): Who put these big-ass dung beetles on my back?!

> Who is THAT doll?

Servo: (hopefully) Mike, is Marlo Thomas in this comic?
Mike: I don't think so, Tom. (Servo starts humming the theme from "That Girl.")
Crow: Ten bucks says it's a giant praying mantis.

> Paige: I'm PAIGE GUTHRIE. I believe you know my brother, SAM.
> Maggott: The ROOINEK? Ol' SAMMY NEVER told me 'bout YOU!
> I am LIKING this SCHOOL!

Mike: Almost as much as I am liking to speak English!

> Jono: ~Your hair looks NICE, Paige.~
> Paige: Yeah, whatever. So who won?

Crow: Heeyyy! She just totally blew him off!
Servo: Let it go, Crow. So far she's the only one who said two consecutive sentences without shouting.

> Everett: Me and ANGELO. GAIA, who cut her hair?
> Gaia: I did. When you can reshape reality, a haircut isn't that hard.

Servo: So her mutant power is that she graduated from beauty school?
Crow: Too bad she wasn't here that day we all came down with hockey hair.

> Monet: Our little FARM GIRL finally got herself a REAL haircut.
> Now if we could do something about those CLOTHES...

Crow: I have a suggestion...OW! (as Mike hits him upside his head).

> Paige: Gee, MONET, I didn't know you CARED.

Mike: Now SHE'S wearing BUGS?!
Servo: Careful there, Mike, you're lapsing into comic-speak.

> Jubilee: All right, ladies, less talking, more walking. There is MUCH
> shopping to be done, and not much time to do it in!
> Gaia: We're COMING, JUBILEE, we're COMING.

Crow: (snickers) I guess Jubilee was Gaia's practice haircut.

> Maggott: Okay, those babes are FINE, but when do I get to meet the
> headmistress? Bobby told me she walks around in her lingerie.

Servo (as Everett): Well, not all the time. It's more like a special thing for birthdays.

> Everett: Miss FROST had to go to New York. I think it was personal
> business or something. She's the secretive type.

Mike: You mean apart from that whole "underwear-on-the-outside" thing.
Crow: Maybe she's the Victoria's Secretive type.

> Emma: I'm here to see ADRIENNE.
> Secretary: I'm afraid she can't be dis-- HEY! You can't go back
> there! Ma'am! MA'AM!

Mike (as secretary): Come back here or so help me I'll say Ma'am again!

> Emma: Don't worry, I'll tell her I had to DECK you.
> Adrienne (on phone): Phillip...PHIL-lip. You're stuttering again.
> SLOW DOWN. I am an ENTREPRENEUR, not some sort of
> WARMONGER. Where do you think I can get my hands on
> SUPERHUMAN MERCENARIES?

Mike: They have a bunch of 'em down at the new Super Wal- Mart.
Crow: Mike, how come we never get the good view of the big naked statues?

> Oh, for the love of...stop. You're EMBARRASSING yourself. The
> truth of the matter is, I don't HAVE any muscle.

Servo (as Adrienne): Not since I stopped the steroids, anyway.

> Not the kind you mean, at least.
> Emma: Adrienne, I need a WORD.

Servo (as Emma): 24 down, eight letters, "Type of monkey."

> Adrienne: I'm SURE you can handle this TRANS-SABAL situation
> just FINE on your own. And if you can't well...hope your resumé is
> current. All right...okay... Now dry those tears and show me why I
> hired you.

Mike: Atsa good boy. Can you be good for mommy?

> I'll be in touch. Tah. Well, well... EMMA - my FAVORITE sister.
> To what do I owe THIS pleasure?

(Mike and the 'bots get up and leave the theater.)

(On the bridge. Mike arranges pink hair rollers on Crow's net as Servo sits under one of those dome hair dryers and flips through "Cosmo." Gypsy enters.)

Gypsy: Hi guys, what are you doing?

Mike: Oh, hey, come on over Gypsy. I'm giving Crow and Servo makeovers like the one that Paige got in the comic.

Crow: Yeah, we were getting sick of looking at the same boring faces day after day, and we thought we could all use a new look.

Mike: And I have some great ideas, too. I got to thinking about how all the Gen X kids seem to be really into bugs lately, so I whipped up a batch of creepy crawlies in the Thingmaker and went to work..
Crow: Creepy Crawlies? The hell? (Mike sticks a few multi-colored plastic spiders on Crow's head).

Servo: (talking to Gypsy, unaware of Crow's plight) Yeah, you know, I think I look pretty good now, but I could be so much better if I just put a little more effort into my appearance. So I've been learning about all the latest trends. After Mike finishes my hair, I'm going to run out and buy myself some chunky black strappy pumps and a new...

Crow: HEY! You never said anything about bugs! (Tries to shake spiders off and flings a couple into Mike and Gypsy).

Mike: (Holding an industrial-size can of hairspray) Crow, will you hold still? If you don't let me spray they're just gonna fly off! (He sprays as Crow shakes harder)

Servo: (Suddenly realizing situation) What's all this about bugs? Oh, Mike, please tell me you didn't...(Mike lifts the dryer dome. Servo's bubble is filled with day-glo caterpillars). UGH! EW! MIKE, how could you do this?!

Crow: Yeah, Mike, this is really disgusting.

Mike: Hey, I was just trying to help you guys to look good.

Servo: Good?! GOOD?! Crow looks like he got caught in an explosion at the Play-doh factory!

Crow: Yeah, and Servo looks like one of those stupid toy machines outside of supermarkets that eats your quarters and spits out some lame piece of crap that you didn't even want in the first place! C'mon, Mike, look at us!

Servo: How could you possibly think that this makes us look good?! Let's go, Crow.

(Crow and Servo leave and slam a door. Mike and Gypsy look at each other for a few seconds and burst out laughing.)

Mike: Trash mine room, will ya! (Flashing lights.) Oh, we've got comic book sign....

6..5..4..3..2..1

Crow and Servo are seated in the theater as Mike enters.

Servo: Y'know the caterpillars started spinning cocoons, Mike.

> Angelo: MAGGOTT, you're in for a treat. We found this hill LAST
> winter when we went sleigh riding.

Mike (as Angelo): Then we had hot chocolate with mini-marshmallows and almost got killed by Emplate!

> Bein' from East L.A., I was the newbie then. Dis time, it's ALL you, vato!

Servo: Apparently Gambit's accent is contagious.

> Maggott: I'd be a lot MORE into this if the dolls were with us!
> Specially Sam's little sister.
> Jono: ~ Can we PLEASE change the subject?~

Crow: Sure! Let's talk Paige at a nude beach!
Mike: You want the spiders back?
Crow: Sheesh. Sor-REE.

> Everett: Ahem. Yeah. So, Maggott...are the X-Men REALLY as
> cool as JUBILEE always makes them out to be?
> Maggott: Boykie, the X-Men are to DIE for!

Servo: Yep, at least that's what they said when they were trying to kill me.
Mike, Crow and Servo: (jumping) AHHH!
Mike: Run! Before you get squished by the giant X-Men flashback/hallucination thing!

> I wasn't with them very LONG, but when I was, I was having the time
> of my life. Struebob.

Crow: Yes sir! The time of my life. Until I started having those dreams about Paige...
Mike: CROW!

> The X-Men helped make me who I am today, and that's not me bein' a
> windgat, neither. Think what you want about 'em, but they're my idols.
> Everett: Idols, Hunh? I can't even imagine what it'd be like to actually
> meet MY idol.

Servo: I think Mister Rogers would probably kick his butt before he even got to ask for the autograph.

> THE BLACK PANTHER. I don't even know what I'd say.

Crow: Mike, I'm confused. Is Mister Rogers the Black Panther?
Mike: Not in those sweater vests he's not.

> Maggott: Aw, Come on. They're - AARGGHH!

Servo: Incessant...flattery...making...me hurl!

> *gasp* Eany...Meany...Cha - check on them...
> Everett: Look sharp, guys! We could be surrounded!

Mike: Sure thing, Captain Obvious. (Gives mock salute)

> Jono: The...the slugs aren't moving!
> Everett: WAIT - Over there!
> Hockey/hunter/ninja man: Hey Kids!

Crow and Servo: BINKY! (seeing snow weirdo) Ohh...
Mike: I promise we'll watch "Garfield" later, OK?

> Don't you worry none...Just keep back and let me collect my
> TROPHIES and you all won't get hurt. 'Sides, it's a NASTY day
> to bleed to death, ya know?

Servo: Yeah, it's much too cold for that. We usually draw and quarter people during the winter.

> Name's SLAUGHTER. Constantine Francis Slaughter IV, to be precise.

Mike, Servo and Crow burst out laughing.
Crow: (still laughing) You really shouldn't go around telling people that.

> But only my momma calls me "Constantine," ya know?
> Maggott: Is...this...stoepkakker...for...REAL?

Mike: Uhh, I think that would depend on what a "stoepkakker" is.

> Angelo: Form a defensive wedge around Maggott! Sir, I don't know
> HOW you got past our security systems, but your visit here is going
> to be a short one!
> Slaughter: Heh. "Sir." I like that. Polite. Very nice, son. You hold
> onta those manners and you'll go far in this world.

Crow: (flinging leftover spiders over Mike and Servo) Hey, good manners won't get you anywhere, moron!
Mike: Wanna bet? (Crow screams as he lands on the opposite end of the theater. Mike looks at Servo.) You want a piece of me, too?
Servo: Calm down, Mike. The power of the Thingmaker's going to your head. (Crow sits back down in his seat.)

> Everett: JONO, you don't mind if I SYNCH up with you, right?
> Jono: ~Ummm...~

Crow: Hey! That's obscene!
Mike: Haven't you learned your lesson yet?
Crow: Are you kidding?! The fall wasn't as painful as this dialogue!

> Jono: ~ Hey, how's he FLYING with MY powers?

Servo: He must have had some of the "special" chili for lunch.

> Adrienne: HA! HA! HA! HA! Oh, my! You always DID have a
> flair for the dramatic. Emma, let me get this straight: you took a
> NASTY hit on the stock market, thereby placing your little school in
> financial jeopardy - and you want ME to bail you out?

Crow: Uh, Mike?
Mike: Yeah?
Crow: Can you throw me across the room again? I'm bored.
Servo: Me too, Mike?
Mike: Take it easy you guys. This scene can't go on forever.

> Excuse me one second. James?
> James (on intercom): Yes, Ms. Frost?
> Adrienne: What's today's date?

Servo: Ah, the riveting calendar scene.

> James: January 18th, Ma'am.
> Adrienne: Okay, thank you. Just making sure it wasn't APRIL FOOL'S
> DAY, sister dear.
> Emma: Are you quite finished?

Crow: I wish this COMIC would finish.
Mike: Easy, buddy, we're getting there.

> Adrienne: We haven't seen each other in 10 years --
> Emma: Eight years, four months and 21 days.
> Adrienne: But who's counting, right?

Mike, Servo and Crow: WE ARE!

> My point is: what makes you think I'd HELP you after all this time?

Mike (as Emma): Maybe 'cause I still have all the negatives?

> Emma: You started building your financial empire while I was still
> fending for MYSELF on the streets of New York. I could've come to
> you THEN for some kind of HAND-OUT...a NEST EGG, if you
> will. But I DIDN'T.

Crow: Bum me out why don't you. Can we please have a scene with Chamber so I can shake off this depression?

> I needed to start my career - my LIFE - on my OWN. And I knew
> you'd never respect me if I did it any other way. But I didn't.

Crow: Mike, will you please just shatter me against a wall and put me out of my misery?
Mike: Hey, we've gotten through worse things then this.
Servo (sobbing): No, no, we've never had to go through anything THIS bad! It's the work of the Devil I tell you! One hundred percent pure evil! I can't take it anymore! Do you hear me, Pearl?! You broke me!
Mike: (puts arm around Servo) Shhh, it's almost over.
Servo: (still sobbing) Y-you sure? OK.

> Sure, I had to do business with some UNSAVORY individuals, but I
> built my own place in the world from the ground up. But things are
> DIFFERENT now. We're not talking about my FINANCIAL STANDING.

Mike: We're talking about my collection of hard-to-find Beanie Babies, for cripe's sake!

> We're talking about the future of a very special group of children.
> You ask me WHY I thought you'd help me? Because we're FAMILY.

Servo (sniffling as he sings): We are family....
Mike: Hey, there ya go!

> And because I NEED your help.

Crow: And your Frederick's of Hollywood catalogue.

> Everett: He's so FAST!
> Slaughter: WOO DOGGIE! You kids got SPUNK!

Crow: The weird guy's back!
Servo (no longer crying): YAY! Whoo-HOO!

> Here! Check this out! Made it to catch PTERODACTYLS in the
> SAVAGE land!
> Jono: ~ Keep yappin' mate...~
> Slaughter: OOF! Heh heh! Lookit this! Busted my back once after
> fallin' off a 300 foot cliff in GENOSHA.

Mike: I guess we've reached the geography portion of the book.
Crow: Yeah, who said comics aren't educational?

> Ever since then I've been wearin' this little baby. It's a VIBRANIUM- > derivative. It 'sorbs IMPACT.

Servo: Apparently it 'sorbs vowels, too.
Mike: Vibranium?
Crow: Fictional metals, Mike. It's how you know it's an X-book.

> I got a present for you, too SPARKY. This stuff helped me wrangle
> a winged horse on ASGARD once. It'll wear off eventually, don't you
> worry none.

Mike: Yee-HAH! Ride 'em, Psycho Cowboy!

> Maggott: Ang...ANGELO. Help the GIRLS. Pull their DARTS out.
> Angelo: I got it, vato. Don't you - uh oh.

Servo (as Maggott): I said DARTS, not HEARTS!

> Slaughter: Well, LOOKEE HERE. What'd you wanna interfere with a
> man's TROPHY for, boy?

Crow: Well I...(Mike glares at him)
Mike: You say anything perverted and we're skipping ahead to the Frost sisters.
Servo: (shakes head) That was just cruel, Mike.

> Adrienne: Because we're FAMILY? Emma, dear, FAMILY is for
> people who can't make FRIENDS on their own.

Servo and Crow: MIKE!
Mike: It wasn't me! I swear!

> YES, James? I see. Well can't it wait? He's crying again? Oh, good
> Lord. All right. Patch him through. Emma, be a sweetheart and
> excuse me for a sec, would you? Thanks.

Servo: I think we should excuse her too. (He and Crow get up to leave. Mike pulls them back to their seats.)
Crow: Hey, I say the lady wants her privacy, we should give it to her.

> PHIL-lip? This had BETTER be good? Okay. All right, just SLOW
> down. I - Phillip, I'm going to have to call you back. Oh...MY!
> MY PSYCHOMETRIC POWERS have kicked in with some pretty
> useful information in the past, but this is OVERWHELMING!

Crow: Heyyy...how come Paige has her new haircut in Emma's mind when Emma's never seen her new haircut?
Servo: Yep, just another fine example of Marvel continuity.

> I'd never have thought that just by touching Emma's purse I'd key
> into something like THIS...

Mike: Yeah, I was just hoping to find a Zagnut bar.

> So she runs a SCHOOL for MUTANT CHILDREN? PERFECT.

Servo: Mike, this chick's creeping me out big time.

> JAMES, please send my sister in. Emma, I think I was out of line
> back there. I'm SORRY. You're right...Family SHOULD help one
> another with problems. So if you want my help, I'm IN. On ONE
> condition...

Crow: We have a plotline, ladies and gentlemen!
Servo: About freakin' time!
(Mike, Crow and Servo get up and leave theater.)

(On the bridge...)

Crow: You know, Mike, I've seen some pretty lame villains in comics before, but this book sucks even by Marvel standards.

Mike: What do you mean?

Servo: Come on, Mike! Generation X used to fight guys like Emplate and Omega Red and the Sentinels. Now they're reduced to getting their asses handed to them by some psycho snow-weirdo with no fighting ability whatsoever!

Mike: I don't know. I thought he was kinda scary....

Crow: Yeah, well you would, Mr. Leave-the-nightlight-on-so-the-evil- dustbunnies-can't-get-me!

Mike: Hey, alright, alright. So what do you guys think makes a good villain?

Servo: Well, I think the key is finding just the right balance between scary and evil. Why, if I were a comic-book villain, I'd have paring knives popping out of every part of my body, and I'd whip around my enemies and carve them into little tomato rosettes and use them to garnish my meals.

Crow: And I would morph myself into styrofoam cups full of boiling hot coffee and spill myself all over unsuspecting do-gooders. Either that or mail out chain letters soaked in lemon juice to inflict excrutiating paper cuts upon my foes - I haven't decided yet.

Servo: So, uh, what would you do, Mike?

Mike: Umm, oh! I'd hide behind the bushes in people's front yards and then I'd jump out and shake my fist at kids and yell, "Hey! You kids get outta my yard!"

Servo: (shaking head disgustedly) No, Mike! It has to be bigger than that!

Mike: Oh, I know! I can have a hundred pizzas delivered to my enemies' houses every night.

(Servo and Crow both groan and shake their heads.)

Crow: Mi-IKE! We said evil, not stupid!

Mike: Well I was gonna put anchovies on the pizzas...

Servo: Mike, listen to me. Just try thinking of things that really, really frighten you. You know, like public television. Or your wardrobe. Or that strange guy that's on all the infomercials.

Crow: Yeah, c'mon, Mike, feel the evil vibe! Washington politics! Rice cakes! "Suddenly Susan"! Frogurt!

Mike: Wait, I think I've got it now...I would tell all those superhero pansies out there that they either give me $10 million each, or they'll be written by Larry Hama from now on!

Servo: Hey, I think he's getting the hang of it! (Buzzer sounds and lights flash)

Mike: Ohh, we've got comic book sign....

6...5...4...3...2...1...

(Mike and the 'bots enter the theater).

> Jono: ~ This goo ITCHES! ~

Crow (as Jono): Paige never smears me with goo when SHE ties me up!

> Everett: The security system must be on the fritz, or else SOMEONE
> would've seen GRIZZLY ADAMS beat us.

Servo: Who?

> Angelo: Who?

Servo: Glad I'm not the only one who's lost.

> Everett: Never mind.
> Angelo: This...THING he tied us up with tightens every time I try
> and STRETCH through it. MAGGOTT,

Servo: See if you can stretch Ev's ropes really tight the next time he tries to make a joke.

> how you holdin' up, buddy?
> Maggott: I'm okay. And my girls'll eat their way free of Slaughter's
> bags...but by then it might be too late.

Mike: 'Cause the Early Bird special's only good for another ten minutes.

> Without me, they'll die, and vice versa.

Crow: Please don't let Eany and Meany get free. PLEASE!

> Everett: Did you say they can eat through ANYTHING? Like, even
> this polymer cable

Servo: I see Synch's elected himself to be Mr. Exposition.

> Maggott: ANYTHING. Even this dinges. But they're not here.
> Everett: YOUR slugs aren't here...but what if I SYNCHED up with
> you, and made my own?

Mike: Uhh, then we'd be up to our armpits in mutant larvae.

> Maggott: Maat, you don't get it. I wouldn't wish that pain on a SKOLLY.

Crow: But I WOULD wish it on a Mulder - he's into that whole otherworldly creatures thing.

> Everett: I'm not just gonna let you DIE.

Mike, Crow, and Servo: Ohhhhh.
Servo: Damn! THIS close!

> Almost...got it...

Servo: Ahhh. Scratched the itch. Now what was I doing again?

> AAGGH!

Mike, Crow and Servo: AAGGH!
Mike: Why did he turn into a killer Smurf?
Servo: "When Mutant Powers Attack the World's Strangest People." This Thursday on FOX.

> Jono: ~ Ev? Hey, Ev, you okay? ~

Crow (as Everett): Yeah, the Leech and Artie colorist got drunk again, that's all.

> (Later)
> Maggott: There, see? I TOLD you the girls would tell me where they
> are. I can just sort of...FEEL it, you know?

Mike: Now there's an mental image that will haunt me for the rest of my days...
Crow: Don't even start, Mike.

> Angelo: So what's the game-plan, bruddas?
> Everett: I dunno, ANGELO. I could SYNCH UP with Maggott again,
> and use my slugs to free EANY and MEANY

Servo: Uhh, I think Ev's enjoying the whole slug thing a little too much.

> Jono: ~ I'll handle the bloody -- ~
> Maggott: Hey, don't go getting' STROPPY on me! This is my fight, Maat.
> Angelo: And just how do you plan on takin' 'im, Mag?

Crow (as Maggott): I'll show him my hair! He should laugh just long enough for me to free the girls.

Your chicas are still down for the count, you know?
> Maggott: Oh, I think they'll be comin' around right about...NOW!

Mike: Amazing how they worked that out with the timing and all.

> Hey, you scaly rooinek, looks like your TROPHIES have better ways
> to spend their time, hey?
> Slaughter: Well, son, you just don't know when to quit, do ya now?
> Fine. I got just the DETERRENT.

Servo: Yes, it makes your whites whiter and your colors brighter.
Mike: I think you're thinking of DETERGENT, Tom.

> Hey! It's EATIN' my GUN!
> Maggott: I COULD say something about you EATING my FIST. But that would be silly.

Crow: That's silly? After everything that's gone on in this book?

> Slaughter: I'll - my pack! Those varmints chewed off the bottom!

Servo: At least they didn't chew off YOUR bottom. Ugghhh.

> Maggott: No more toys, chubby. Just you and me.

Mike: Well you don't have to get snippy about it.

> Slaughter: Sorry...but...not... today! So I didn't make off with your
> bugs. Big deal. Plenty of OTHER rarities out there to collect, ya know.

Crow (as Gen X artist): You know, I have the strangest feeling that I left something out of this issue.
Servo: Generation X. Presented to you in Chapter 11-vision.

> Like the black knight's bat-winged horse...or the little purple dragon
> in upstate New York...

Mike: Barney, NO!

> Or MUTANTS.

Servo: Sad thing is that's the best attempt at foreshadowing they've made so far.

> Sean:...Took me TWO HOURS but I finally got our SECURITY
> SYSTEM back online.

Crow (as Sean): Sure, it would've gone a lot faster if I wasn't drunk the whole time, but what are ya gonna do?

> The technology this SLAUGHTER fella used is WAKANDAN in
> origin. This guy gets around.

Crow: But not as much as Paige gets around. That girl...
Mike: I've felt the evil vibe, Crow. Just remember that.

> Maggott: Yeah. Well wherever the skolly is headed, I'm going to be
> right behind him.

Servo: Kissing his butt and trying to get a job.

> I couldn't live with myself if someone else got hurt because I let him go.
> Sean: Lad, that's just what a member of the X-MEN would say. I c'n
> see now that ye truly are every bit the man Henry McCoy said ye are.

Mike: Uhh, you're getting into a really weird area here, Bansh.

> Angelo: Hey...JAPHETH...all those cracks I made about your name.

Crow (as Angelo): Well they were just the tip of the iceberg, buddy!

> I was just kiddin', you know? Just wanted to make you feel like one of us.

Mike: So please don't kill me, OK?

> Maggott: Thanks, ANGELO. You're okay. For a gray boet.
> Everett: You call us if you need ANY help, okay?

Servo: Yeah, 'cause damned if the X-Men are gonna be any help to ya.

> Maggott: I won't forget any of you, and don't you forget about me,
> either, because one day I'll be back! Ta.

Mike: That's enough to give them nightmares for the rest of their lives.

> Emma: All right, who was that young man, and what did he want with
> my lingerie?

Crow: He just wanted to add it to the pile he took from your top drawer.

> Sean: Emma, that was MAGGOTT. From the X-Men. HE was
> gonna attend school here. Now he's not.

Servo: Sean Cassidy. Man of few syllables and even fewer thoughts.

> Emma: Yes, fine, whatever. I have someone here I'd like you all to
> meet. She's going to be here a lot from now on.
> Adrienne: Gentleman. My name is ADRIENNE FROST. I'm your
> new headmistress.

Crow: ADRIENNE! Yo, ADRIENNE!
Mike: C'mon, guys. Let's go. (Picks up Servo as Crow trails him out of the theater.)

(On the bridge...Mike and the 'bots are celebrating their victory over the book.)

Mike: We did it!
Servo: YES! In your face, Forrester!
Crow: Who-HOO! I didn't think Gen X could get any worse than the Hama issues, but MAN!
Servo: Hear that?! We're still here! We survived!
Mike: Yeah! So what do ya think of that, Mrs. F?

Pearl: Still smiling, Mike? Well I'll get you yet, my pretty, and your little robots, too. Why, just look at what was in my mailbox this morning. (Holds up a copy of the double-sized Gen X #50). Live in fear, Nelson. Push the button, Brain Guy.

(End credits)

> Slaughter: WOO DOGGIE! You kids got SPUNK!