"Ever think the Cartoon Network should put all their Ads and self-promo commercials up for download or something? I mean those 'Dexter's Lab/Cow and Chicken Press' conferences and those "Cartoons that never made it" are classic. I mean, all they are are spots to remind you of what you're watching or to advertise the 'toons, but they rock," Jubilee noted as she for a second averted her eyes from watching 'Space Ghost: Coast to Coast'.

"I believe the lack of sanity that is radiating from the television is affecting your...what you'd have us believe to be.. intellegence." Monet observed from across the room as she held her newly painted fingernails to the light to admire their perfection.

"Lay off, Monet. It's not like there's anything better to do." Everett muttered from the floor where he sat working on his homework.

"Officially. This Sucks. I mean, here it is, a Friday night. Back in the hood we'd be having what we'd call A LIFE. Here, what are we doing? We've been watching toons since 4 and only been taking a break to eat dinner." Angelo commented without so much as moving.

"Well man, we gotta do something fast cuz Speed Racer's on next and after a few minutes of that-"

::It's like putting yer brain in a microwave:: Jonothon finally added, his psionic voice heard by all in the room.

Monet noted with marked amusment the way some of his fellow students still winced at the sound of direct thought impressions in the brain.

"He must be a wonder to talk to when one is hung over." Monet mused to herself.

"Well, lads and lasses, there's always this," Sean Cassidy, the headmaster of the school, announced as he walked into the room.

As if the entire student body were precognitive, they all shouted in unison, "NO!!!!"

"Ach, come on, then. It's fun. Besides, I'm having Emma unplug the cable for the next half hour."
"This is blackmail!" Everett shouted as he looked at the comic that lay before them.

The cover of the comic had three versions of Monet. Two looked as if they are in the thralls of ecstacy and the other looked as if she were...Everett couldn't decide the emotion portrayed. Perhaps fear at the concept of her big brother with his hands in a clear "groping" position?....

Everett quickly shook the thought out of his head as he sighed and picked up the issue.

"Generation X Issue 35." Paige mused, "I feel an emotion coming on already."

"Fear?" Jubilee snickered as she walked over to join the small group already forming.

"Loathing?" Monet asked.

::Desire t' go write a nasty letter to Marvel and of course mention l.p.McKee t' em?:: Jonothon asked.

"No, no and 'Where did THAT come from?'" Paige responded.

::I...don't know.:: Jonothon replied.

And an eerie silence filled the room.

> (1)Husk, Jubilee and Skin take Tracy to the school.
> Skin: It's not like we get sentinels eye-blasting us, or Australian
> aborigine shamans sitting on our roof every day!

Angelo finally relented and walked over to the gathered group.
"Si, not EVERY day--only Monday through Saturday."

> Tracy: My trombone teacher says I'm gifted, but I never got into
> any fancy school like this!

Jubilee smacked her forehead. "The humanity!"
Paige snickered. "I wanna know what MORON high-school student thinks they can get into a gifted school that was a liberal studies on account of playing an instrument."
Everett raised a brow at Paige's uncharacteristic outburst and random use of the term "moron."
Angelo squinted thoughtfully. "I dunno -- if you can blow well, you can get into some choice--"
"ANGELO!" Paige snapped, then a slight blush rose as she realized that she was the only one who caught onto the indecent comment.
"Besides, you don't blow into a trombone, you vibrate," Angelo admended, then sent a very evil smile at Paige.

> Jubilee: What if something really weird or gonzo is going down?

::'Gonzo'?::
Paige elbowed Jono. "Dontcha know, it's the slang for the cool teens of 1998."
"Only Gonzo I ever knew," Everett offered, "was the one from "Muppet Babies."
"Ooooh, Muppet Babies!" Monet launched into the theme song, perfectly replicating everything from Kermit's "I like adventure!" to Gonzo's "And I've got blue hair--ha!"
When she finally finished, the others were all staring at her.
"I swear, M," Jubilee said, "sometimes I can't make up my mind if you're a complete priss or kinda cool."
Monet preened. "And is now one of those times?"
"Naw. Now, you're a wacko."

> Tracy: And I still don't feel like I belong.

::She just bleedin' set foot in the place and she already wants to BELONG?::
"Now, kids--" Sean began, eliciting groans and eye-rolling, "--sure'n I'd like t'believe that if we did get a new student, yeh'd make them feel welco--oh, sweet Mary, it's that Authier wench! Never mind, kids! Go to it!"
"But, Sean, don't you enjoy her sharp angles and 1950's missile brassiere?" Emma taunted as she walked into the room.
"I say kick her ass, take her bike and take Paige's diary for our own!!!!" Jublilee shouted as she thrust a fist into the air.
"Calm down, J." Everett warned. "Besides, we don't even WANT to get going on the whole diary issue. WE already now know Paige can't write (giggle)!"

> (2&3) Chimera, M-Plate (Note: M-plate has yet to do ANYTHING besides
> pose semi-dramatically. I wish I could be a threat simply by posing
semi-dramatically), and Synch in their evil clutches.
> Synch: Let GO if me, you escapees from a leather dungeon!

"Look at my face!" Everett cringed.
Jubilee patted his back. "You're prob'ly in pain from having to say such a stupid line, Ev."
::Yer just missing the term "you stupid jerk"::

> Skin: Ay caramba!

"Eat my shorts!"
::Don't 'ave a cow, man!::
"Cowabunga, dude!"
"Underachiever-- and proud of it!"
Angelo grinned widely. "Y'know, I used to know all the words for 'Do the Bartman'."
"Oh, God," Paige moaned. "Don't tell us this line's accurate!"
"You know, for the title of the issue being 'Pool of Tears', I would imagine something a bit more.. dark," Everett muttered.

> Banshee: Jono! What in bloody blue blazes would this be all about,
> now?

::Bleedin' bastards breakin' bones--bound t'be brutal, th'buggers!::
"Suzie sells sea shells by the seashore sometimes!" Jubilee shouted.

> (4)Synch says a whole bunch of insulting, out-of-character things
> like "You jerks made a deal with Emplate? You must have been sick
> when they handed out the smarts!"

"I look apoplectic," Everett grimaced. "Why am I throwing fits like this?"
"Must've been that...oh, how did you put it?..that 'fuzzy green tuna' you 'scarfed up'."
Everett looked distraught. "Please don't bring that up again, Monet," he pleaded. "It makes me nauseous."
"You know, this reminds me of this one Hong Kong movie I saw, except that this ain't subtitled and don't have the word 'melon' in it," Angelo mused as he lit up a cigarette.

> (6)Synch: Yo, SKIN! Give me some SKIN!
> Skin: You want to SYNCH in to my power?

"Way to go, guys," Paige folded her arms. "Why don't you just write out the plan for the evils to read?"
Jubilee did her best "Life of Brian" impression--"In letters ten feet tall!"
"Let me get this straight--they just gave away my secret identity and even more secret "What I can do" in one sentence?" Angelo grumbled, voice dripping with sarcasm.

> Angelo's hand darts between the yet-to-do ANYTHING M-Plate's legs,
> as M-Plate just STANDS there and continues to be this terrible threat.
>(Most likely because we all know how "big and bad" Emplate is after
>issues 12-14. Scoff here, please.)
> Synch: Okay, leather-lady, you think you're all wrapped up now..?

Monet yawned. "Oh, I can't wait for the zinger."
"Yeah, I just LOVE how Everett needs to touch people to get their powers now. Bet that's a blast when you need to synch to Penance, eh?" Paige snickered.

> (7)Synch: ...Wait until you've been digit-ized!

Communal moan.
"Damn you, book! Look what you've done to Everett's face! Look what you've done to his ability to be normal! You've given him terrible pun powers!!" Jubilee shouted. "Damn you!!! You maniacs! You punned it up!"
"Soylent Green is People! It's PEOPLE!!!" Paige jumped in.
::Wrong movie, luv.:: Jonothon snickered.

> Caption: Because his [Banshee] sonic blasts pack the wallop of a high
> compression wave!

::Not a low compression wave, mind yez.::
"Cynic," Monet sniffed, hiding a smile.

> (8)Chimera: "is that the best you can do...scream at me?"

"Well, Emma could cook for you...."
"Paige could sing for you...."
"HEY!"
"Jubilee could give you fashion advice...."
"IN-A-PPROPRI-ATE!"
"Everett could give off more puns."
"CHILDREN! Stop it. This is horrid enough without the bickering."
Everett cleared his throat. "Has anyone noticed that we are eight pages into the story and M-Plate has done NOTHING yet but stand and pose dramatically? I feel soooo threatened."

> Chimera: I am Chimera, scourge of the Nether-dimensions...and I am a
>conduit for the cosmic wind that blows between realities!

Angelo and Jubilee both snickered until Paige smacked them, suppressing a grin herself.
"You two -- so immature!"
Angelo guffawed. "She set herself up fer that one, man. We don't even hafta say anything."

> (9)Banshee goes flying through a small window after a flame monster
>sent by Chimera attacks him.

Monet raised an eyebrow as she looked closely at the panel.
"Given the speed required in order to toss him so far, and the lift to bring him to the window…"
"Realism left us a long time ago," Everett assured the perplexed Monet.

> Jubilee: Sean! Are you--?

Paige furrowed her brow for a second. A split second flash of a previous life flashing in front of her eyes. Something about Niles Cable, the X-Patrol, a Dial, and the phrase, "My legs, Janet. I... Can't...feel. My legs."
Paige shook the sudden flash out of her head and came back to the present.
(((A box of Thin Mints if you got that one = bum)))

> Banshee: I"ve had worse in a Dundee pub brawl, Jubilation...

"And that means...what, exactly?"
"Yes, SEAN. Do tell us, does that mean you're okay or not?" Emma smiled.
"Ach! I dinnae know! I'm an over-pumped cliché! All I need now is to be a cop or push Lucky Charms!"
"Sean. You were a cop."
"'O, Ye Saints!'" Sean quoted, suppressing his own laughter as best he could.

> (9)M-Plate's head does a 180 as he/she speaks.

::Bloody hell! Monet's a victim've demon posession!::
"I knew it!" Jubilee crowed. "I've been trynna tell people that from Day 1!"
"As I have tried to tell everyone that your immaturity will someday result in your eventual consumption of a large amount of polyester filling." Monet growled as she reached behind her.
"Huh?"
"She means she's going to hit you with a pillow," Paige deadpanned.
"Oh-Ooff!" Jubilee started as she was smothered under the assault of the flying pillow.

> (10)M-Plate expounds and the wraith tangles with Synch while the rest
> of the team stands about and looks boffled.

Sean and Emma shared annoyed looks.
"We're hardly that easily trounced," Emma said bitingly.
::She's beating us by just STANDING there!!! We can take out Omega Red, something not even the bloomin' X-Men can do, and we can't take out a tart--no offence, M, I just have t'stick with the clichéd tone--who just stands in one spot?::
"Nothing to be ashamed of," Monet said breezily. "I simply posess superior intellectual and physical capabilities which far surpass your somewhat limited ranges of expertise."
Sean grinned ruefully as the other students rolled their eyes. "Oh aye, lass. Not ashamed at all."
"Personally, if I were Everett, I would've just reached up and grabbed the leather-bound bi-atch by one of her earrings and pulled. I mean, look at those things! I haven't seen stuff like that since 5-cent day at the flea market!" Paige exclaimed.
"Hey, who has me now anyway?" Everett asked as he noticed that he suddenly vanished from the scene.

> (11) Tracy is left in the Biodome where she realizes she's not alone.
> (To realize this, she has to twist in an inhuman position by which
> would cause any normal human to fall or break their back and need at
>least four ribs removed.)
> Tracy: Hey, you're not gonna leave me here all by myself, are you? ULP!

"ULP! I BROKE MY BACK! HOW GONZO!" Paige shouted.
Lookit! She's dancing!" Jubilee jumped up and started contorting herself in much the same way.
"Ghetto superstar..." Angelo warbled in a high Mya-like falsetto, "that is what you are...."
Sean shook his head mourfully. "An' what, might a ask yez, was wrong with the Dolly Parton version of that wee song?"
::Two words, guv--"Kenny Rogers".::
"Yah know...Tracey can poke someone's eyes out with those...those..."
"Paige...you're LOOKING?" Angelo asked in mock shock.
"No, I'm just saying that her mutant power COULD be contortion and pointed...well, you know."
::Bet that gel can't sleep on her belly.::
"Pervert," Paige snickered.
::Yer were the one that pointed out her points, gel.::

> (11) M-Plate beats a retreat after her/his terrible fight of just
>STANDING THERE.
> DOA: Hey Boss… izzat you? Didja get a makeover or something?

"Remember when DOA was this annoying guy who said almost nothing and every line he said had 'Sir' tacked onto it?"
"Aye. And I must praise his powers of perception, considerin' his hat is constantly coverin' his eyes."

> M-Plate: We have...needs, D.O.A.

The snickers that followed that particular comment were too numerous for even the normally above-it-all Monet to ignore.
"You know what they say about men with big noses."
"Ms. Frost! I would have thought that our own headmistress would be delicate enough not to laugh at one of her students' misfortunate wordings." Monet folded her arms, annoyed.
Emma stifled a chortle under one well-manicured hand. "I'm sorry, Monet. You're right. After all, I am the one person on this campus most likely to empathize with a woman who has...needs."
This time it was outright laughter.
"Hey, Paige, chica...I got a big nose...."
"Dream on."

> Jubilee screams off at the White Queen and Banshee about how M-Plate
> is getting away.

"Way to go, Jubilee, I'm SURE that's gonna get you brownie points."
"At least she didn't say 'Wolvie woulda..'"
"Please and a third, Guthers. Wolverine would NEVER be stuck in this lame of a story."

> Banshee: That "thing" up there is no longer Emplate and the twins
> combined...

"Let our powers combine!" Everett declared, thrusting a fist into the air.
Paige stared at him. "Aw, Ev--don't tell me you actually watched that corny "Captain Planet" show?"
::You used t'watch them bleedin' "Wonder Twins", Paigey.::
"They were neat! Just when you thought they couldn't get any dumber...."
"I like "Reboot"," Angelo offered. "Man, when she grows up, that AndreIa's a babe!"
Jubilee snorted. "That's our Ange--he can get off on computer animation."
::Well, luv, he takes wot he can get, like.::
"Excuse ME, amigo, but I happen to recall someone commenting on a few animated characters himself." Angelo snorted.
::Like I can get a real date, anyway.:: Jonothon snapped back with some venom.

> (12)M-Plate(grabbing Synch):We have needs, and this one here
> fulfills them!

::Shag, baby, yeah!::
"Why, Monet, we nevah knew!" Paige grinned and hugged Monet, who was looking a bit upset. "Don't worry, M--the worst's nearly over...oh wait...no, it's not. Sorry."

> M-Plate distorts reality and causes the stairs to spiral and funnel
> everyone downward while shooting the White Queen to the top of the
stairs when she WAS at the bottom and telporting Penance and Jubilee
>into the scene.

"Now WHO'S going to pay for this? First Jono "sneezed" and blew up the girls' dorm, then Black Tom destroyed the entire campus, now this. The Hellions and the entire school of regular students were NEVER this much trouble!" Emma said peevishly.
No one noticed the flush rising in Paige's cheeks.

> (13) The fight continues with Skin extending his finger all the way
> up to the second level (up the stairs) and wrapping them around the
> villian's leg.
> Banshee: I'll fix her flux, by Saint Paddy and all his bloody snakes!

"Que?" Angelo was heard to muse as he lit up another cigarette.
"I have no clue, lad. And I thought that reference to bar fights back on page 8 was bad enough."
"No, I was talking about what would happen if she moved her foot with my fingers stretched around 'em like that. I mean, I LIKE my hand attached to my wrist!"
::I'm sure you do, mate. Company on them long nights, hmmm?::
Angelo glowered.

> (14) Husk rants off about nailin' M-Plate in the kisser while ripping
>the skin off her face to reveal a metal (like she does anything other
>than metal and rock nowadays) form.
> Husk: So you can whip out the gonzo special effects--Big deal...

Paige put a hand to her head. "I said 'Gonzo'...I said 'Gonzo'! I'm a dork too!"
::I'd worry more about sayin' "Bopped in the kisser", luv.::
Paige wasn't listening. "GONZO!!"
Jubilee rubbed her chin thoughtfully, "What's the point of that panel layout besides slicing me up inta three parts? There's NO dynamic, no art,no--"
"No shame." Everett groaned as he took note of his one line on the page. "I said WOOF! WOOF!"
"GONZO! GONZO!" Paige screamed as if she was in physical pain.
"Woof!" Everett responded disconsolately. "They have me BARKING!!"

> (15) M-Plate whaps Husk to the side and NUKES Jubilee with a cool
> lighting effect.

"We have actual use of a computer in one panel in this issue!!" Everett snickered.
"Lens Flare. We have Lens Flare!" Jubilee responded.
"How did my face grow back in one panel?" Paige wondered.

> Husk: Eeeehaaa!

"I'm in pain because I said 'Gonzo'!"
"You've got to admit, it's a cool over-the-shoulder shot of M-Plate."
"GONZO!!! GONZO GONZO!" Paige lamented.
::She's a nutter!::
"Dibs on slapping her," Monet murmured.

> M-Plate: Really, Paige, must you be so insistently ineffectual?

Monet cringed as the semi-insane Paige took a strong grip of the younger girl's hair.
"I didn't say it! It was not I!"
Jubilee giggled. "M, that is so gonzo of you!"
::Bloody, bloody, bloody!!::

> (16)Jubilee: Curiouser and curiouser!

::Good things come in twos. Two 'Gonzos' so far in the issue, and two 'Bloodies'...Looks to be a right literary masterpiece 'ere!::
Paige, realizing what she was doing, stroked Monet's glossy black hair apologetically. "See? An actual literary reference there!" she cooed, ignoring Jono.
Monet looked up, brightening somewhat. "I like 'Alice in Wonderland'...I've read it ever so many times...."
Jono squinted consideringly. ::Erm...did 'Wolverine on a cross' ever figure into th'story?::
"No," Monet said with slight alarm.
::This ivvin't quite like Alice, then.::
"Hey, it's like 'Where's Waldo'! I bet every issue has something to do with Wolverine!" Jubilee shouted and clapped her hands like a schoolgirl.
"Hey, amigos and gonzo amigas, they say 'Alice in Wonderland' makes a lot more sense when you're...uh...smoking." Angelo snickered and took a deep drag. "I'm sure that's what we have t'thank for this quality issue."

> (20)Banshee: Oysters, oysters, alive alive-o!

::More twos!! It's a sign, people!::
Sean looked puzzled. "Now I'm Molly Malone, then?" he wondered aloud. "That's a little indelicate, wha?"
"Huh?"
Emma leaned over to Jubilee. "Don't bother trying to understand," she advised. "He's on one of his Hibernian recollections."
"And what's scary is that he's still makin' more sense than he has the entire issue," Jubilee commented.

> Banshee: "Hop on me barrow, and I'll wheel ye over."

"Wouldn't oh, say, walking on glass be more comfortable than sitting in a barrow full of oysters?" Paige wondered out loud.
"Duh-uhhhh...I like oysters," Angelo said with his eyes crossed. "I like this book, too. I's smart with a capital U.N."

> (22) Shot of the whole gang with Paige in bunny ears (Hummmm.. if this
> was Lobdell I'd undrstand that one perfectly) Angelo as the Mad Hatter,
> Gateway smoking his water bong, and Emma as the Queen of Hearts, all
> gathered around no doubt eating HASH browns or shrooms or just some
> really potent Kool-Aid. Jubilee asks which of the twins is Monet.

Skin: Can't do it, chica! Not her birthday, comprende?

Monet sniffed. "The whole point of that sequence is the UN-birthday," she pointed out. "Also, that's from the cartoon, not the book."
"And I'm the March Hare, but I'm quoting the White Rabbit," Paige added. "Gosh, not too big on research, huh?"
"If you were eating a oyster.. do I have a joke for you!" Angelo snickered as he winked at Paige, then elbowed her at the sight of Monet, who started to weep openly onto Paige's shoulder.

> (23) Monet starts to swap heads to reveal new heads underneath.
> This continues until Emplate- and Monet-heads coat the ground.

A muffled scream of pain followed by a sob was heard from Monet as she continued to grope and cry on Paige's shoulder.
Paige put an arm around the girl to comfort her.
"Ah...err...ah guess it isn't going to get better."

> (25)A rather over-developed Jubilee.

Angelo made growling hubba-hubba noises, elbowing Jubilee. "Growin' up pretty fast there, Jubes!"
"Yeah, an' lookit my nails! I could dig potatoes with those things!"
::Here, don't go mentioning potatoes around an Irishman. He'll go mad, like.::
"Gonzo?"
::Bloody Gonzo!::

> Banshee: We thought you were going to keep rolling right into town.

"Actually, I was trying to roll right out of the issue!"

> (26)Banshee: "The combined enity, M-Plate, took Ev and disappeared
>through that dimensional portal, and then the bloody gate slammed shut.

"That particuar dimensional portal, or the other one next to it?"
"No, no, the one coated in blood as opposed to the one coated in horseradish sauce, silly!"

> Tracy screams from off panel.

::I guess she just realized she can't bend like she did.::
"Maybe she saw the bloody portal."
"Maybe she saw the way me face is contorted," Sean sighed.

> Banshee: Who in blazes is Tracy?
> Husk: Uh, a friend?

Perking up, Monet raised her head, her face already dry of tears and eyes devoid of redness.
"So if I were to blackmail you, Paige, would we become friends?"
"If I was to say, beat your brother Josh, who's a jerk, senseless, would you date me, just for one night?" Angelo snickered.
"You never met my brother. Shut up. I can understand saying she's my friend--I didn't want Mr. Cassidy to ground me for letting someone we hate to go into our biodome. I was LYING. See, there's even a question mark and everything!" Paige said, trying to convince herself.

> (THE LAST PAGE!!)

If you absolutely MUST have closure, write your own ending and send it to...uh...me, I guess, at maggiecat@rocketmail.com. We'll see what we can do. Cheers!