> $ ENTREPRENEURS $

Seraph: Friends, Romans, telemarketers....Right, where's the sword?

> Tired of working for someone else and getting paid what "they" feel you're worth?

Seraph: Ever had that not-so-fresh feeling? That feeling where you know, somewhere, somehow, someone is actually going to take this idiot seriously.
Phil: Who let this git in here?
Seraph: I think he kind of invited himself.
Rossi: Does that mean we get to perform weird experiments on him?
Seraph: Only if I can watch.

> Tired of the "get-rich-quick" $5 fantasy programs?

Rossi: You know, I think this guy's in denial.
Phil: That, or he's just come out of brain surgery.
Seraph: I think he should get a refund.

> Tired of the MLM "dream scene"?

Rossi: MLM, sounds like a bad rap group.
Seraph: Getting down with their bad selves?
Rossi: Something like that, only less scary.

> Looking for a legitimate home-based enterprise that can generate you $10k-$20k+ monthly?

Rossi: Oh, yes please! Tell me where to sign up right away.
Phil: Sarcasm, burning through the floor.
Seraph: Hmm, you know, I didn't know we had a second level to this place.
Rossi: We didn't, Dex's been at the computer again.
Seraph: Another bar?
Phil: One's never enough.

> THEN CHECK THIS OUT!!! Seraph: What if I don't want to?
Phil: Shhh, you'll destroy the illusion.
Seraph: What illusion?
Rossi: That we're actually paying attention to this e-mail.
Seraph: Ahhh, got ya. Oh please, TELL ME MORE!!

> *80% profit on all sales that pay you from $1250-$6250 per sale

Phil: Uhha.
Seraph: Wow, Phil's been struck speechless.
Rossi: I think the pain's finally driven him mad. He actually turned down beer a moment ago.
Seraph: Oh, the humanity!
Phil: That was uncalled for.
Seraph: But I've been dying to say it.
Rossi: We know.

> *No personal selling or "convince me" tactics involved

Phil: That doesn't make sense.
Seraph: What doesn't?
Phil: Well, wouldn't you 'have' to personally sell this stuff, don't you 'need' to convince people to buy whatever the hell it is these people are selling?
Rossi: You're mistaking this with logic, Phil.
Phil: Right, gotcha.

> *No special skills or equipment required or "inventory" to keep Seraph: Yes, now you too can be a brainless moron.
Rossi: Now Seraph, be nice. After all, they're God's "special" children.
Phil: Are we done yet?
Seraph: Nope, we haven't been reduced to mindless screaming yet.

> *Complete information system in place does the explaining for you

Rossi: Except for the fact that it doesn't explain just how annoying spamming innocent netizens is.
Seraph: They thought about putting that in, then decided against it. Didn't match the puce wallpaper, you see.
Phil: You're a strange gel, Angel.
Seraph: I try.

> *Free-enterprise in its purest form, not MLM or franchise

Phil: How about we forget the rest and go have a beer?
Rossi: Sounds good.
Seraph: No, if I have to sit through this then so do you two.
Phil & Rossi: Sadist.
Seraph: Only on weekends.

> *Full training and support in an environment of up most integrity

Phil & Rossi: Pleeeeassseeee can we go?
Seraph: What kind of beer?

> *Exceptional products, not "vitamins, lotions, and potions"

Phil: Do you care?
Seraph: Well, maybe...

> *Lead generation system that brings qualified prospects to you

Rossi: Matt might be there.
Seraph: You're trying to bribe me, aren't you?
Phil: Yes.
Seraph: It worked. Let's go.

> *Multiple 6 figure income realistically attainable in 1st year

Remainder of this spam slam cancelled due to pub crawl. Please leave your name and e-mail address at the sound of the drunken brawl and we'll slurr back to you shortly.