Well, here we go again! This is my third misting, and I haven't been
flamed yet, so I must be doing something right(or at least, I must not be
doing too much wrong...) Anyway, Sailor Moon belongs to Naoko Takeuchi, the
X-men belong to Marvel comics, and this fanfic belongs to Victor Von Doom
(the fanfic author, not the FF villian.) No insult is intended to him or
his
work, and I realize he put some effort into this fic, so let's not flame
the
nice man, okay? As always, all flames, death threats, comments, and
questions can be sent to Spider256@hotmail.com
[Bridge of the SOL. Gypsy enters from the left.]
Gypsy: This doesn't look good... oh, hi! I'm Gypsy, and this is the
Satellite of Love. This really isn't the best time for a visit, though.
You see, Dr. F finally managed to break Joel's will, and... oh great, now
the mads are calling again.
[Deep 13. TV's Frank is there by himself, looking worried.]
Frank: So, uh, Gypsy... how are Joel and the bots doing?
[SOL]
Gypsy: I don't know, I haven't even seen them for hours.
[Deep 13]
Frank: [nervous] Well, actually, that's because I kind of... sent them
another movie.
[SOL]
Gypsy: You WHAT?! They've already had the will to live sucked out of them!
Another movie right now might kill them! Besides, you've already thrown the
worst that Ed Wood, Roger Corman, and Stephen Ratliff have to offer at
them!
What's left to send them?!
[Deep 13]
Frank: Psycho, actually.
[SOL]
Gypsy: Ps... Psycho? As in Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho?
[Deep 13]
Frank: You're welcome.
[SOL]
Gypsy: But why would you...?
[Deep 13]
Frank: Call it a guilt attack. I had this weird dream last night, and Joel
was there, and Tom, and Crow, and some guy named Mike... [shakes head]
look,
let's just say I was trying to make up for Manos.
[Dr. Forrester enters from the right.]
Dr. F: Frank, what are you doing?
Frank: Uh, nothing sir, just gloating evilly.
Dr. F: Great! Keep up the good work! [Exits the scene]
Frank: Whew. Anyway, the movie should be ending just about now...
[SOL. By a staggering coincidence, Joel, Tom, and Crow enter the scene at
that exact moment.]
Tom: That was great!
Joel: Yeah... you know, Psycho's just one of those movies that keeps
getting
better every time you see it.
Crow: Hey look, it's TV's Frank!
Tom: How ya doin', buddy?
[Deep 13]
Frank: Pretty good... look guys, I hate to do this, but Dr. F's got one
last
experiment ready to finish you off once and for all.
[SOL]
Joel: Uh-oh.
Tom: Hey, no problem!
[Deep 13]
Frank: It's a Sailor Moon/X-men crossover...
[SOL]
[Joel and Crow exchange glances.]
Tom: No problem!
[Deep 13]
Frank: Starring Rini...
[SOL]
Joel: Ohboy.
Tom: Well... no problem!
[Deep 13]
Frank: By Victor Von Doom.
[SOL]
Joel: [flinches]
Tom: [weakly] No... problem...
Gypsy: Good luck, guys.
Joel: Thanks, I think we're gonna need it, 'cause WE'VE GOT FANFIC SIGN!!!
[The usual chaos ensues]
1...
2...
3...
4...
5...
6...
[Joel and the bots enter the theater and take their seats.]
> The Era of Apocalypse
Joel: They killed off Professor X again?
Tom: I'm dead! No, wait, now I'm back again! Now I'm dead! Now I'm back!
Now I'm dead! Now I'm back! Now I'm-say, is this bugging you?
> X-Men and Sailor Moon Crossover
> Chapter 1
> The Reunion
>
> Tokyo's International Airport, 20 :30 hr. an airtrafic controller receives
> an emergency call from a very unusual plane.
Crow: Hello? Why yes, my refrigerator is running!
> -Tokyo's International Airport, please identify yourself
Joel: Well, I'm a really big area in Tokyo where planes land, and I recieve
flights from other countries...
> -Good evening Tokyo, this is the Blackbird, Cyclops leader of the X-Men
> speaking, we request permission to land due to technical problems.
Crow: One moment, please. Hey, boss, there's an outlaw parahuman strike
force coming in for a landing! What should we do with them?
Tom: Jeez, another one? All right, put 'em with Spawn and Gen13. Maybe
they can network or something.
> -Permission granted, you may land on land strip 5.
>
> Minutes later the Blackbird landed and it's occupants descended from it.
>
> -OK Beast, what do you think ?
Joel: [Cyclops] Are you pondering what I'm pondering, Henry?
Crow: [Beast] I think so, Scott, but... just what is an electric boogaloo,
anyway?
> -It will take about three days to fix it, Cyclops.
>
> -Then we must find a place to stay.
>
> After this the X-Men ( Professor X, Cyclops, Jean Grey, Beast, Storm,
> Wolverine, Jubilee, Rogue and Gambit) lefted the airport and headed towards
> a hotel.
All: [chuckle]
Joel: All this time, and Vic still hasn't realized that 'lefted' isn't a
word...
Tom: In a way, it's kind of comforting. I guess some things never change.
> The next morning Logan (this is Wolverine's name and will be used during
> the story), and Jubilee decided to go shopping, at the same time Haruka
and
> Michiru were at the same mall, Haruka noticed their presence and stood
> there watching the man until Michiru pulled her arm.
Tom: [Michiru] Um, remember me, darling? No one special, just the love of
your life...
> -Are you OK ?
Crow: [Haruka] I wasn't staring! I mean... yeah, I'm fine!
> -uh...yeah, let's go.
>
> They continued their way, on the other side of the mall Serena, Ami,
Lita,
> Rei and Mina
> along with their guardian cats Luna and Artemis entered the mall,
> simultaneously Rogue and
> Gambit were looking for Jubilee and Logan when the girls spotted them.
>
> -Mina look at that hunk, isn't he cute ?
>
> -Yeah...but he has a girlfriend already...
>
> -huh ? How can you be so sure ? Maybe she is his sister...
>
> -SERENA ! !
Tom: [falsetto] Yes, I'm Serena... but who are you? And who was talking a
second ago?
Joel: [ditto] Wasn't that you? Wait a minute, who am I?
> -What is it Rei ?
>
> -Aren't you forgetting something ?
>
> -What ?
Crow: [falsetto] The reason we're putting a space in front of our
punctuation !
Tom: [ditto] I am ?
Crow: Yes, you are !
Tom: Oops ! Sorry !
> -Darien.
>
> -he he...
>
> -But I'm going to find out ! !
Tom: [falsetto] I'll find out which one of us is talking, or die trying!
> With this Mina followed them and then when Gambit was looking for a deck
of
> cards, she tried to bump into him but she miscalculated and bumped into
> Rogue
Tom: [falsetto] All right, given Gambit's current velocity in kilometers
per
hour, taking into account his estimated trajectory and the amount of force
required to make a sufficient impact, if I increase my speed by
approximately 0.05 km/s, I should-no, wait! I forgot to carry the-
Crow: CRASH
> who couldn't avoid
> the physical contact with the girl absorbing her powers.
>
> -I'm so...ahhhhhh ! ! !
>
> Then she falled to the ground unconscious, hearing her scream the other
> girls along with the cats rushed to her aid, but when they arrived neither
> Mina or the men she was following were there, they asked a witness and
he
> told them that he along with others took the blond girl into a car and
> lefted the place.
Crow: If this were about anyone else, I'd assume he meant 'left', but these
are the X-men we're talking about...
> -We have to find her ! !
> Screamed Serena.
>
> -Girls it's time to transform.
> Ordered Luna.
>
> -! !MOON PRISM POWER ! !
> -! !MERCURY POWER ! !
> -! !MARS POWER ! !
> -! !JUPITER POWER ! !
>
> Once they were transformed Sailor Moon used her moon scepter to find
where
> Mina was, they started to follow here until they arrived to a hotel in
> Central Tokyo, inside Mina was receiving assistance from the X-Men.
Crow: [random x-man] She's still unconscious! I'd better give her mouth to
mouth!
Tom: [ditto] No, I'd better give her mouth to mouth!
> -What happened ?
>
> -Looks like the kid tried to get closer to Gambit but she found me instead
> Professor, there
> was nothing I could do, but there is more Professor, I think she is a
> mutant, look.
>
> Pointing her finger at the window she fired a laser blast which was seen
by Sailor Moon and
> the other Sailor Scouts..
All: [falsetto] GASP The Scout-Signal!
> -There she is ! !
>
> They entered the hotel and runned up the stairs to get to the room where
> Mina was.- In there the X-Men were checking her when the door opened.
Crow: [random x-man] Wow, those legs really do go all the way up!
Joel: Uh, guys? Aren't we taking this a little too far?
> -! !STOP RIGHT THERE NEGA-TRASH ! ! ! !I'M SAILOR MOON, CHAMPION OF
> JUSTICE, I FIGHT WRONG
Crow: Well, even I'll admit she's no Bruce Lee.
> AND TRIUMPH OVER EVIL, AND THAT MEANS YOU ! !
>
> The X-Men where supprised.
Joel: I don't know, you saw it last!
Tom: [groans]
Crow: Did you have to make that joke?
Joel: Well, someone had to.
> -Wait a minute please I'm Profe...arrggghhh ! !
>
> A powerful lightning blast coming from Sailor Jupiter made him fall from
> the chair,
Tom: [snickers]
Joel: JUPITER... STATIC CLING... TRIP!
> seeing this the X-Men prepared to battle.
>
> -OK NOBODY ENTERS OUR ROOM AND ATTACKS THE PROFESSOR TAKE
> THIS ! !
Crow: [X-men] You ignorant fools you dare to dishonor our proffessor and
for
that we will attack you with our mutant powers which will succeed in
destroying you hahaha ! ! !
Joel: You know, all jokes aside, not many authors can really capture that
'badly dubbed' feel in text.
> Jubilee used her powers against the Sailor Scout she was closer to
> happening to be Sailor Mercury, Ami falled to her knees blinded by the
> fireworks, meanwhile the rest of the scouts moved around the room Sailor
> Mars attacked Wolverine, who ducked but couldn't avoid a burn in his
arm,
> Cyclops knew that Wolverine was a deadly enemy specially when you hurt
him,
> he wanted to stop him but he had Sailor Moon attacking him, Wolverine
> showed his adamantium claws and flew over Sailor Mars making her and
> himself pass across the window, and then falling to the ground two stories
> below, inside Cyclops used his eyebeams in low charge and fired against
> Sailor Moon, who falled to the ground but stood up again and prepared
to
> use his scepter against him, meanwhile Sailor Jupiter fired a blast against
> Storm who showed her what a lighting bolt is all about when she called
upon
> the powers of nature that she commanded.-
All: [awed silence]
Joel: My god...
Tom: Now that's a run on sentence!
Crow: Uh-oh, I think I see another one coming... battle stations,
everybody!
All: [hide under the seats]
> Outside of the building Wolverine was about to finish Sailor Mars who
was
> unconscious but when he was about to stick his claws on the girl's chest
a
> rose hitted his eyes, he stood up to see a man in a Tuxedo Suit, but
when
> the strange individual was about to attack him Gambit throw several cards
> to him but he was able to move before they exploded, he also saw an eight
> year old girl dressed like the girls they were fighting, this girl runned
> towards him and tried to attack him but Rogue took her and after taking
off
> one of his gloves he absorbed enough energy to knock her out,
> simultaneously two other Sailor Scouts showed up, they were Sailor Uranus
> and Sailor Neptune but Jean Grey captured them in a telekinetic cage,
> suddenly all of them stopped the battle when they heard a voice in their
> minds.
Crow: [Peeks out] Is... is it over?
Joel: I think so... for now, at least.
All: [get back up]
> -ENOUGH ! ! ! STOP THIS SENSELESS WAR AT ONCE ! !
>
> -Sailor Moon what shall we do ?
> Asked Sailor Jupiter
Tom: [falsetto] Stop this senseless war at once. Weren't you paying
attention?
> -I...I don't know this is weird..
Joel: [falsetto] I think it's weird, but I'm not completely sure...
Tom: Brace yourselves guys, here comes another run-on sentence!
Crow: Oh no, not another one!
> Suddenly the bald man got closer to her and laid a finger on her forehead,
Tom: SLEEP!
> Serena felt a strange energy going through her body which made her fall
to
> her knees,
Joel: Er... could this be interpereted as something dirty, or have I been
hanging around Crow for too long?
Tom: Yes.
> suddenly she started to see images showing her who this
> individuals were, the way they became the X-Men and the enemies they
fought
> ending with the strange storm that forced their land on Tokyo,
Joel: [Xavier] You know, Ororo, if you wanted to go to Japan that badly,
you could have just asked...
> at the same
> time Professor Xavier saw the story behind the Sailor Scouts, the way
the
> Moon Kingdom was destroyed and their reborn, he also saw their fight
> against Queen Beryl and the Negaverse, then against Black Moon and the
> destruction of Sailor Saturn, he even saw why Mina crashed against Rogue
> that morning.
Tom: [weakly] All right... I think it's over.
Joel: I don't know how many more run-on sentences I can take...
> -So you are Sailor Moon.- Tell me why you and your friends attacked us.
Crow: [falsetto] You just learned my complete history up to this point five
seconds ago! You've forgotten already?
Tom: Well, all that mind-melding and whatnot can't be good for your short
term memory.
> -We thought that you were enemies because you kidnapped Mina.
>
> -I see. Let me explain, we had to take her here because we don't like
to
> show our powers in public,
Crow: And they needed to use their powers because...?
Joel: [Beast] I can't figure out why her condition keeps getting worse!
Quick, try hitting her with another lightning bolt!
> people does not understand the nature of our power and fear us,
> unfortunately your supprise attack forced us to use our powers to defend
> ourselves, I hope your friends are OK.
Joel: Yeesh, they even talk in run-on sentences...
> -Thanks...
> She started to look around for them noticing that Rei wasn't around,
> suddenly the door opened and Wolverine entered the room carrying Sailor
> Mars in his arms, simultaneously Rogue entered through the window with
> Sailor Chibi Moon on her arms as well.- In other area of the room Jubilee
> was taking care of Sailor Mercury.
Tom: Permanently, if you take my meaning... heh heh heh...
Joel: Actually, Doom's fics do tend to be fatal for the senshi.
> -Here.- Put this on your eyes it will take the pain away and will allow
> you to open them.
>
> -What did you do to me ?
Joel: [Mercury] I don't want you to heal me! I want to be put out of my
misery!
> -Just a first degree burn in order to blind you, and...uh...I think you
and
> your friends should use other kind of uniforms you know.
>
> -Why ?
>
> -Well, uh let's put it this way girl, they are too provocative.
>
> Ami blushed to a deep red when she heard such thing.
Joel: Oh, well, I-huh?
Tom: [Doom] Ha! Sentence structure is for the weak!
> In other side of the room Rei awaked and started to look around, when
she
> noticed the presence of the X-Men she got ready to start the battle but
> Sailor Moon stopped her.
Joel: [falsetto] NO! For the love of God, Rei, I can't take any more run-on
sentences!
> -The war is over Sailor Mars, they are friends not enemies, at the same
> time Sailor Uranus and Sailor Saturn entered the room, when Haruka saw
the
> burn in Logan's uniform she rushed to help him but was supprised when
she
> saw that the burn was completely healed, Logan was also supprised by
the
> strange display of care.
> -Don't worry, I can heal myself...
>
> -Oh...anyway let me put this on.
Crow: Uh, do you really think you should wear that in public, honey?
Joel: Now, Crow...
> She took a piece of fabric from her bow and placed it around Logan's
arm,
> Rogue noticed this.
>
> -I don't know about you but I think that this girl is dying for Logan.
Joel: Wolverine, no! Put the claws away-no, not the jugular! Great, now
there's blood all over the walls again...
> -I think you are right.
>
> The Sailor Scouts, specially Neptune, were also supprised.
>
> -Correct me if I'm wrong but it's Uranus the one that's helping Wolverine ?
> -Yep. Indeed he is Jupiter,
Joel: [falsetto] Wait, if he's Jupiter, than who am I? For that matter,
who's 'he'? And who are you?!
> something tells me that they are in...
>
> She couldn't finish a huge thunder was heard and a voice was heard.
Joel: Gyah! Wolverine, do you mind?
Tom: Of all the disgusting... somebody open a window or something!
Crow: [Wolverine] I knew I was gonna regret that third order of refried
beans...
> -BOW TO ME ! ! ! I AM APOCALYPSE AND I WILL RULE THE WORLD ! ! ! !
Crow: You know, you can always tell a really great villian by the amount
of
exclamation points he uses.
Tom: [Apocalypse] BOY, IT SURE IS A GOOD THING MY ARCH-ENEMIES THE X-MEN
AREN'T AROUND TO FOIL MY EVIL SCHEME!
> Next chapter : A Sacrifice of love
Crow: An... SOL?
[pause]
All: Nah.
> One of the Sailor Scouts will sacrifice herself to protect a loved one,
> keep checking to find out who ! !
Tom: Oh, we will... not that we have any choice in the matter.
Joel: C'mon, guys, let's get out of here while we can.
[Joel and the bots exit the theater.]
6...
5...
4...
3...
2...
1...
[Bridge of the SOL]
[Tom is hovering in place, and seems to be concentrating on something. The
others are nowhere to be found.]
Tom: Well, here goes nothing...
[Tom hesitates for a moment, and then throws himself forward on the
ground.]
THUD
Tom: Ow!
[He gets back up, takes a deep breath, and repeats the process.]
THUD
Tom: Ow!
[Then he does it again.]
THUD
Tom: Ow!
[And again.]
THUD
Tom: Ow!
[Joel enters from the left.]
Joel: Hi, Tom.
Tom: Hmm? Oh, hi, Joel.
THUD
Tom: Ow!
Joel: I just know I'm going to regret asking this, but... what are you
doing?
Tom: Oh, nothing.
THUD
Tom: Ow!
Joel: Oh. Okay.
THUD
Tom: Ow!
[Crow enters from the left.]
Crow: Hi, guys.
Tom: Hi, Crow.
Joel: Hi, Crow.
THUD
Tom: Ow!
Crow: Still haven't got the hang of facefaulting, huh?
Tom: Oh, like you could do any better.
Joel: That's what you're trying to do? Facefault?
Tom: Well, yeah! I mean, with all the Sailor Moon I've been subjected to
over the years, you'd think I'd be a natural!
Joel: Look, facefaulting isn't something you can force. It has to come
naturally.
Tom: Yeah, I guess you're right...
Joel: Don't worry, you'll get the hang of it eventually.
[Commercial sign light starts to flash.]
Joel: We'll be right back.
Crow: Say, how do you know so much about facefaulting, anyway?
Joel: Oh, I went to Japan once when I was back on Earth. Learned from this
guy I met there-something-or-other Saotome. Nice guy. A little weird,
though...
[Commercials]
[Bridge of the SOL. Joel, Tom and Crow enter from the left.]
Joel: Er, you wanted to see us, sir?
[Deep 13. Dr. Forrester, is standing in the foreground, smiling much too
sweetly. Screams can be heard coming from offscreen.]
Dr. F: Hello, Joel. Frank seems to have had a sudden attack of pity, and
actually sent you a good movie for once-
Frank: [from off-screen] AIIIEE!!!
Dr. F: --which he is being punished for even as we speak. [shakes head] I
certainly didn't plan on all of this, but I suppose there's no use crying
over spilt milk... anyway, boobies, since your spirits obviously aren't
broken anymore, let's begin this week's invention exchange, hmm?
[SOL. Crow exits to the left.]
Joel: Well sir, we haven't been in any condition to invent anything lately,
but we do have an invention for just such an emergency somewhere around
here...
[Crow re-enters Cambot's view, carrying what appears to be a modified
snowblower.]
Joel: Ah, here we go. You see, one of the latest crazes where video games
are concerned is 'pre-rendered graphics.' From the Final Fantasy series to
Resident Evil to Parasite Eve, lately everyone seems to love the rendered
look. We're not exactly sure why, but our invention is designed to take
advantage of this.
[Joel takes the invention from Crow and turns it on. Semi-transparent goop
begins to shoot out of the nozzle, which he proceeds to spray over everyone
and everything in his path.]
Joel: [shouting to be heard over the machine] Our 'Laminator 9000' gives
any
household object that high-gloss, pre-rendered, plasticky look, thus
lessening the pain of actually having to stop playing video games and
experience the real world! We realize it's not much, but we're working day
and night in this field of study, and it's only a matter of time before we
can make the line between fantasy and reality completely indistinguishable!
What do you think, sir?
[Deep 13]
Dr. F: An interesting toy, Joel... but nothing compared to my latest
creation. Watch closely, Joel, you're about to see history in the making!
Frank, if you'd be so kind as to bring in the invention... Frank? Frank?
Frank: [o.s.] YEEAAARRGH!!!
Dr. F: Oh, fine, I'll get it.
[Dr. Forrester walks off screen, and after a few minutes comes back with
a
huge sattelite dish hooked up to a computer system of some sort. The entire
contraption is on a cart, which Dr. F is dragging behind him.]
Dr. F: Honestly, it's so hard to find good help these days... anyway, this
little device right here is going to make me the undisputed ruler of Earth!
I give you... the De-literator Mark IV!
[SOL]
Joel: De-literator?
Tom: Sure, Clay. Whatever.
[Deep 13]
Dr. F: [grins] I see you need some... convincing. Joel, you have a few
books
with you up there, right?
[SOL]
Joel: A few, yeah...
[Deep 13]
Dr. F: Would you mind reading one out loud? [Reaches back and flips a
switch
on the machine, which suddenly begins to whirr]
[SOL]
Joel: Well, I don't see why not... [reaches under the counter and brings
out
a book] How about this: The Collected Works of Sherlock Holmes. [clears
throat] "Part 1: Being a reprint from the reminiscences of John H. Watson,
M.D., late of the Army Medical Department..." [pauses] Hey, the words got
all blurry! Wait, never mind... I must have imagined it.
[Deep 13]
Dr. F: [grinning] Of course. By all means, continue.
[SOL]
Joel: Oh, right. Anyway... "'Evasive maneuvers, fire phasers, LT. Yarr,'
Lueitenant Richard Casteel said as three Romulan warbirds sircled the
enterprise-C casually-" AAAAGH!! Wait a minute... th-this is 'Enterprized'!
Tom: What? Let me see that... my God, it IS Enterprized! Right down to the
spelling mistakes!
Crow: [rummaging around under the counter] Gack! All the books are like
this! Artemis' Lover! the Eye of Argon! Even SMAK! Every book on the SOL's
been replaced with a bad fanfic!
[Deep 13]
Dr. F: Correction, boobies-every book on the PLANET's been replaced with
a
bad fanfic! How long do you think the world's population can last before
their pitiful minds snap, hmm?
[SOL]
Joel: [horrified] Dr. Forrester, you... you can't do this! This is awful,
even for you!
Tom: Oh, relax, Joel, what's the worst that could happen?
Crow: Yeah, nobody really reads anymore!
[Deep 13]
Dr. F: Heh. Poor fools... you still don't understand the magnitude of this
creation. THIS INVENTION WORKS ON TV GUIDE, TOO!
[SOL]
Crow: You evil monster!
[Tom's head blows up]
[Deep 13]
Dr. F: Anyway, back into the theater! You've still got one final experiment
to finish while I'm off conquering the world!
[SOL]
Crow: Joel, I'm scared...
Joel: Me too, Crow, me too, 'cause WE'VE GOT FANFIC SIGN!
[alarms, klaxons, etc. Crow and Joel(carrying Tom) run offscreen.]
1...
2...
3...
4...
5...
6...
[Joel and the bots enter the theater and take their seats. Joel pulls a
spare head from under the seats and attaches it to Tom.]
* The Era of Apocalypse
* X-Men and Sailor Moon Crossover
* Chapter 3
* The Battle of the Princesses
> Sailor Moon felt the pain of the cuts on her chest, but in her heart
other
> pain, much greater than this was making her cry,
Joel: All those high-cholesterol snacks are finally taking their toll.
Tom: Sad, really.
> her future daughter, the
> only person in the world besides Darien for which she will gave her
life,
> attacked her, she couldn't believe it, if fact she didn't wanted to
believe
> it.
Tom: [Serena] I don't care what you say! Santa Claus is real! He is!
> - She tried to stand up but the pain was too hard and she felt dizzy,
> she falled to her knees
Crow: [Serena] Oh man, how much did I have to drink last night?
> and Professor Xavier ordered Rogue to take her back
> to the Black Bird, then he ordered the X-Men and the other scouts to
go
> back as well.-
Joel: [Xavier] Run away! Run away!
> But when they were heading for the ship, a huge man came out
> of nowhere and captured Sailor Mars, he puted his big hand over her
mouth
> before she could call for help,
Crow: [falsetto] Say, is it just me or did a huge man come out of nowhere
and kidnap Sailor Mars?
Joel: [ditto] Don't worry-I'm sure she'd cry for help if it was anything
serious.
> then she saw a woman in a white and blue
> dress approach and when it passed beside, her amazement didn't knew any
> limits when the woman just transformed...into her, suddenly she felt
a
> needle in one of her arms and seconds later blackness.
Tom: [Rei, stoned] Whoa... that's some good shit, man...
> Back on the hotel, Sailor Moon was placed on a bed and Jean along with
> Rogue started to work on the injuries she suffered,
Joel: [Jean] Hey, do you feel like we've forgotten someone?
Tom: [Rogue] Nah, it's just your imagination.
> after a few minutes of
> treatment, they gave her a sedative that made fall asleep,
Crow: [documentary narrator] ...then they tagged her, put a tracking device
on her, and returned her to her forest home.
> then they lefted
> her alone.- Minutes later Sailor Mars entered the room.
>
> -haha...my master will be pleased...
[Tom starts humming the Torgo theme.]
Crow: tHE MasTEr wILl bE PLeAseD...
> the leader of the Sailor Scouts killed
> by one of her own friends...MARS FIRE ! !
>
> -STOP RIGHT THERE SAILOR MARS ! ! ! JUPITER THUNDER ! ! CRASH ! !
Crow: Hey, I thought everyone else left the room!
Tom: Well, technically they didn't leave the room-they just lefted it.
Crow: Ah.
> But before the lighting bolt could reach it's target she disappeared.
>
> -DOUBLE CROSSER ! ! I SWEAR I'LL KILL YOU SAILOR MARS ! !
Joel: [Jupiter] That's wierd, Rei could never just disappear like that
before... well, I'm sure it doesn't mean anything.
> Meanwhile in Apocalypse's ship Sailor Mars was held in a cell, suddenly
she
> heard a door opening, and saw Cerise walking towards her.
>
> -Renee ! ! !
>
> For any answer she created an energy dagger that she throwed at Sailor
Mars
> hitting her on her left leg.
Tom: You know, it's a good thing he said that.
Joel: Yeah, for a second there I thought it had hit her right leg.
> -Next time you call me Renee I will aim for your heart you understand
> that ?
Crow: Gotta admit, it is a pretty stupid name.
> -Enough my child.
>
> -Father Apocalypse...I was only teaching her a lesson.
Joel: Mutant, psychopath, megalomaniac, and now man of the cloth...
Apocalypse is indeed a man of many talents.
Crow: Bless me, father, for I have starred in crossover fanfics...
> -It looks like you have meeted my daughter, Sailor Mars
>
> -SHE IS NOT YOUR DAUGHTER YOU FILTHY MONSTER ! ! !
Joel: Doom's writing tips, number 1-- when in doubt, type in all caps for
that "five inches away from a loudspeaker" feel!
> He didn't answered her, he just pointed his finger to the dagger that
was
> sticked on the girl's leg directing a bolt of energy to it.- He stood
there
> along with his daughter watching the girl scream in pain until she
passed
> out, then both lefted.-
Tom: [Apocalypse] Heh... we're gonna beat the hell out of that leg.
> Meanwhile on the hotel, Sailor Mercury entered the
> room where Sailor Moon was and found her leader standing in the window
> looking at the stars, but when she walked towards her she saw the tears
on
> her eyes.
Crow: Wow, Serena crying, there's something you don't see every day...
> -Are you OK Serena ?
>
> -Ami, everything around me is falling apart.....first my future
daughter
> attacks me...then one of my friends double crosses me....what am I
doing
> wrong ?
Tom: [Ami] What, all of it? Jeez, we could be here for a while...
> -Nothing of this is your fault Serena, Renee is under the power of that
> evil creature, remember when she was Black Lady ? She...
>
> -This time is different Ami...when she was Black Lady and attacked me
I
> could see in her eyes that she didn't wanted to hurt me...this time I
only
> saw hate and evil on them...
Joel: [Serena] Though I suppose that could have just been mascara.
> -We will save her Serena, believe me, and we will find out why Sailor
Mars
> betrayed us, I know her Serena, I know that she likes you and that if
she
> did what she did it was for a very powerful reason.
Crow: [Ami] Unless, of course, she's innocent, in which case she didn't do
what she did. Or maybe she just did something powerful for an ordinary
reason. Wait, maybe she did something ordinary in a powerful way...
> -Ami, I don't know what I could you without you, I wish I could be as
wise
> and smart like you.
>
> -You have something greater than wisdom and intelligence, you have love
and
> a heart that can forgive anything to anyone.
>
> In Tokyo's cemetery Logan was in front of Haruka's tomb, in his mind
the
> images of the young woman healing his injuries, the kiss she gave him,
> appeared again and again, until he heard someone crying, he turned
around
> and saw Michiru with her violin, she was on her knees, he walked
towards
> her.
> -You were really close friends weren't you ?
>
> -You...you...don't know....we were more than friends...
Crow: [falsetto] At least, we were until you showed up!
Joel: [ditto] Homewrecker!
Tom: [ditto] Slut!
> we were...like
> sisters...
Crow: Well, sisters from the deep south, maybe.
[pause]
Tom: Just a reminder, send those flames to Spider256@hotmail.com--
Crow: Hey!
> we did everything together...why...why did this happened ?
>
> -Sometimes life is unfair girl...sometimes you wish you have the power
to
> change the past...
Joel: [Clark Oppenheimer] Maybe I could fly around the Earth at unheard of
speeds and reverse time.
> but then you realize that you can't...
Joel: [Clark Oppenheimer] No, I did that last week. Damn!
Tom: Joel, maybe a tenth of the readers are going to know where that joke
is
from...
Joel: I don't mind.
> -I wanted to play our favorite song....but...but...knowing that she
can't
> hear it anymore...it's too painful...
Crow: [Michiru] You think maybe it was a bad idea to use barbed wire for
the
violin strings?
> -She can hear you...no matter where she is now...she can.
Tom: [Wolverine] After all, unknown to anyone but me, she isn't dead, just
buried alive, and the oxygen probably won't give out for a couple more
minutes...
> With this words, she stood up and started to play a song so beautiful
that
> Logan couldn't believe it was coming from her hands.
Joel: Which was understandable, seeing as how it was coming from her violin.
> The next day Professor Xavier ordered his team and the Sailor scouts
to
> prepare to a new trip to Apocalypse's ship,
Joel: [Xavier] Alright men, we got our spandex-wearing asses whupped the
first time around, but we're coming back for more!
> minutes later they were inside
> of the ship again, the started to walk on the hallways when suddenly
the
> started to hear screams coming from one of the rooms nearby.
Crow: So, Apocalypse's ship is a giant floating office building?
Tom: Pretty much.
> -Oh God, it's Rei ! ! We have to save her ! !
>
> Sailor Jupiter holded her arm
Joel: [falsetto] Must... control... fist... of death...
> -LET ME GO ! !
>
> -NO ! ! It could be a trap ! !
>
> In the end Sailor Jupiter released Sailor Moon's arm
Crow: [Sailor Moon] C'mon, please let me go?
Tom: [Jupiter] Well, okay.
> and everyone runned
> towards the place where the screams were originating.- When they
entered
> the room, the saw Sailor Mars brutally beaten in some sort of energy
cell
> which was firing lighting blasts to her.
Tom: And as luck would have it, still just hitting that one leg of hers.
> -REI ! ! !
>
> -Sailor Moon...escape while you can...please...
>
> -NO ! ! You are coming with us ! !
>
> -What for ?...to be punished for things I haven't done ?...or for being
> threatened to death ?...
Crow: [Serena] Er, a combination of both, actually. Plus Apocalypse and
Cerise will be coming over on alternate Tuesdays to blast your leg some
more.
> -No...I can see in your eyes that you are innocent...
Tom: Oh, so she's wearing her special "I'm innocent" contact lenses.
Joel: You'd be surprised what modern optometry can do.
> While they talked Beast found the controls of the cell turning them off
and
> setting Sailor Mars free, but in the precise moment when they were about
to
> leave, two members of the Disciples of Apocalypse, Sabretooth and Omega
Red
> appeared, the battle ensued, The X-Men teamed up to battle Omega Red
while
> the Sailor Scouts fought Sabretooth, in the end both were quickly
defeated,
> they continued their search until they entered a big room, it was all
dark,
> suddenly the lights went on and they saw Apocalypse and Renee sitted
on
> their thrones.
Tom: Their porcelain thrones, to be exact.
Crow: [makes flushing noises]
Joel: Now, guys...
> -Welcome.- I can see that you managed to get here, even to save your
> friend, but can you survive another encounter with my daughter ?
>
> Suddenly Cerise appeared in front of them, Sailor Moon couldn't hold
her
> anger.
Tom: I thought Cerise was already in front of them.
Joel: Well, she's closer now, I guess.
Crow: You know, just once I'd like to see a major Sailor Moon villain who
can't teleport...
> -SHE IS NOT YOUR DAUGHTER ! ! ! SHE WILL NEVER BE ! ! !
>
> Cerise started to walk towards them, she created a pair of light swords,
Tom: Behold... the most annoying Jedi Knight in the universe!
Joel & Crow: [ooh and ah]
> Rei stood between her and Sailor Moon.
>
> -Renee stop it ! ! ! We are your friends, and Sailor Moon is your
future
> mother ! !
>
> For any answer she jumped and inflicted two cuts on Sailor Mars's arms
on
> the way down, but the black haired girl didn't moved.
Tom: [Serena] Psst! Rei! You're on!
Joel: [Rei] Oops, sorry! Uh... OW, MY ARMS HURT SO BADLY... look, can we
start over?
> -Get off the way Sailor Mars, otherwise I'll kill you.
>
> -If you want to hurt Sailor Moon you will have to kill me, you
understand
> that ?
Joel: [Cerise] Well, yeah-after all, that's almost exactly *what I just
said*...
> -As you wish.
>
> Cerise started a brutal and unmerciful attack over Sailor Mars,
Tom: [Cerise] Ho! Haha! Parry! Dodge! Thrust! Surrender now, or I will be
forced to inflict even more insignificant cuts upon your arms... hey, are
you even paying attention?
> but the
> even with her body bleeding from the several cuts she had, she stood
there,
Tom: [Cerise] Aw, c'mon, at least say ouch or something! This is getting
embarrassing!
Joel: [Rei] Is it my imagination, or is someone trying to tickle me?
> Cerise couldn't believe why was that girl risking her life like that
for
> the one she considered enemy.
>
> -Why are you doing this ?
>
> -Be...because she is my friend...I care about her...and about you...
>
> -About me ? Why would you care about me ?
>
> Before answering, Sailor Mars falled to her knees.
Crow: [Rei] Rini, I know we haven't known each other for very long, but
there's something I have to ask you...
> -Be...be...because...you...you are also my friend...if you want...to
> kill...somebody...let it...be me..
>
> Cerise stood there motionless,
Joel: [Cerise] Uh, next cue card, please?
> in front of her there was a black haired
> girl bleeding, telling her that she wanted to trade her life in
exchange
> for Sailor Moon's one...something was telling her that she was doing
> something wrong...blurred images...a place in the future...a crystal
> temple...
>
> But then she remembered when Sailor Mars gave her to Apocalypse, she
bonded
> her swords into one and runned towards her, but before she could harm
her,
> Sailor Moon flew above Sailor Mars and kicked her in the chest.
Joel: [shakes head] Y'know, Rini doesn't make for a particularly effective
villian.
Tom: Yeah, I'm really starting to wonder if turning Sailor Scouts into
mutants is the most productive use of Apocalypse's spare time...
> -ENOUGH ! ! ! I'm not going to let you harm her ! !
>
> -OK then, I'll fight you instead.
Crow: [random X-man] Sheesh, ten minutes of dialogue and we're right back
where we started... was I this boring as a teenager?
Joel: [ditto] Look, Apocalypse, are we going to fight or not?
Tom: [ditto] The hell with it, I'm taking a nap. Wake me up when it's over.
> Like she did before, she runned towards Sailor Moon with her sword, but
the
> blond girl just stood there motionless,
Joel: [Serena] Alright, don't panic... just pretend she isn't there, and
maybe she'll go away...
> but when the sword touched the
> silver crystal, a wave of energy engulfed both girls, when it
dissipated,
> Sailor Chibi Moon and Sailor Moon were on the ground unconscious...
All: [burst out laughing]
Tom: I... I don't believe it! Sailor Moon just stands there and... she
misses her completely! She only manages to hit that stupid wand! And what's
worse, she actually knocks herself out doing it!
> To be continued...
Crow: [still laughing] Hoo boy... Joel, is it wrong to feel sorry for the
bad guys?
Joel: Normally... but in this case, I'll make an exception.
> In the next chapter, the final battle between the Sailor Scouts, the
X-Men
> and Apocalypse, but there will be a supprise a character too, don't
miss
> it, same Sailor Moon Fanfics page...same Sailor Moon time.
Crow: Sailor Moon time?
Tom: Well, it's like normal time, only you have to factor in being about
two
hours late.
Crow: Ah.
> Next chapter : The Final Battle
Crow: The light at the end of the tunnel!
Joel: It'll be over soon!
Tom: You know, guys, we've still got to stop Dr. Forrester from taking over
the world...
Joel: Don't worry, I think I've got an idea.
[Joel and the bots exit the theater.]
[Bridge of the SOL. Joel is standing behind the counter flipping through
a
phone book, with a telephone next to him. Tom and Crow are nowhere to be
found.]
Joel: It's a good thing Dr. F's new invention doesn't work on phone
numbers... ah, here we go. [punches in a number] Hello? Yes, is this the
Xavier Institute for Higher Learning? Yes, I'll hold...
[pause]
Joel: Hello? Yes, Mr... Logan, isn't it? You don't know me, sir, but I just
e-mailed you a fanfic you might be interested in looking at...
[pause]
Joel: Yes, that's you in it.
[pause]
Joel: Yes, that's you about to kill Sailor Mars. [Growling can be heard
coming from the phone.]
[pause]
Joel: Yes, that's you falling in love with the lesbian in the sailor suit.
[More growling, along with a barely audible 'snikt'.]
Joel: I thought you might react that way. Anyway, sir, I believe I included
the correct address in my e-mail, so if you and your associates might see
fit to wreak a glorious and terrible vengeance upon those responsible for
sending us this fanfic... hello? Hello?
[pause]
Joel: Well, I guess I'll take that as a good sign. [hangs up] I hope this
works... jeez, I'm normally not this devious. Maybe all the time I've spent
around the mads is having an effect on me-
[Lights and alarms start flashing]
Joel: AAAAAGGH!!! I'VE GOT MOVIE SIGN!!! AGAIN!!! [exits to the right]
1...
2...
3...
4...
5...
6...
[Joel enters the theater and takes his usual seat. Tom and Crow are already
waiting for him.]
Tom: Hi, Joel.
Crow: What kept you?
Joel: Oh, I just had to take care of something. By the way, do either of
you
know the phone number for the Tsukino residence?
Crow: Er, not off the top of my head...
Joel: Oh, well. It's probably listed somewhere.
* The Era of Apocalypse
* X-Men and Sailor Moon Crossover
* Chapter 4
* Hope
Tom: Hope! That's what this fanfic has completely drained us of!
> Seeing her friends down, Sailor Jupiter and Sailor Venus rushed to
their
> aid, while the X-men tried to distract Apocalypse,
Tom: [Cyclops] OH MY GOD, LOOK BEHIND YOU!
Joel: [Apocalypse] Huh? What? Hey, I don't see anything!
Tom: [Cyclops] Darn, you just missed it. OH MY GOD, THERE IT IS AGAIN!
> at the same time Sailor
> Mercury decided to look for the power source of the ship, she knew that
if
> she could damage the ship's power systems they could escape,
Joel: And damaging the ship's power system would help because...
Crow: Well, maybe it would disable a security system or something.
Tom: What security system? From what I've seen, this place hasn't even got
an alarm!
> what she
> didn't noticed was that someone was following her, until she was about
to
> reach her goal, a voice made her turn around.
>
> -Where do you think you're going Sailor Mercury ?
Crow: [Mercury] Beats me. You weren't paying attention to the story either,
huh?
> The supprised girl couldn't believe her eyes, in front of her there was
a
> mirror image of herself,
Tom: [falsetto] Wow, you look just like me! Jeez, my hair's a mess...
> meanwhile in Apocalypse's throne room the battle
> was fierce, the X-men and the Sailor Scouts combined their power to
attack
> Apocalypse with no apparent result,
Joel: [X-men] BANG! You're dead!
Tom: [Apocalypse] No I'm not! You missed!
Joel: [X-men] Did not!
Tom: [Apocalypse] Did too!
> suddenly Sailor Moon regained
> conciseness
All: [burst out laughing]
Crow: Conciseness? In this story? You gotta be kidding me!
> seeing that Renee was back into Sailor Chibi Moon she runned
> towards her and took her little body on her arms.
>
> -Sailor Chibi Moon ! ?
>
> The little girl slowly opened her eyes
>
> -Don't...tell...daddy...that I was bad...
>
> -Don't worry everything is OK, now I need your help more than ever.
>
> Sailor Moon stood up and Sailor Chibi Moon positioned herself in front
of
> her,
All: [cough, clear throats loudly]
> then they took each others hands and called for the power of the
> silver crystal, a bright light engulfed both of them, and a huge energy
> blast was fired and Apocalypse falled on his back supprised,
Tom: So, while Rini and Sailor Moon were talking to each other and charging
up their attack, Apocalypse was doing what, twiddling his thumbs?
Joel: You'd think the 10-minute song and lights routine would have tipped
him off...
> the X-men were
> supprised to see how powerful the two girls were, suddenly Apocalypse
> disappeared, the light disappeared and both girls falled to their knees
> exhausted, meanwhile..
>
> -Who are you impostor ! !
>
> -haha...are you sure that I'm the impostor, I could be Sailor Mercury
and
> you the impostor.
Tom: Wonderful... a clone.
Crow: Well, this is a Marvel story.
Joel: All right, guys, I call no 'Scarlet Sailor' jokes.
Tom: Aw...
> -NO ! ! I'M SAILOR MERCURY ! !
Crow: [opens mouth]
Joel: And no Madelyne Pryor riffs either!
Crow: Damn.
> Sailor Mercury pressed one of her earrings and a blue visor appeared
on her
> eyes, the blue haired girl was shocked, her visor was showing her that
the
> one in front of her had the same physical characteristics she had,
suddenly
> a pair of huge hands captured her from behind.
>
> -ahh ! ! Let me go ! !
>
> A bright light appeared and Apocalypse was in front of her, along with
the
> other Sailor Mercury.
>
> -Well done Mystique, now I'll posses her body and destroy her friends
and
> Xavier.
Joel: [Apocalypse] No, seriously. I realize it's kind of a dumb idea, and
every other time I tried to kill Xavier and company I got my head handed
to
me, but... you're not buying any of this, are you?
> -NOO ! !
Joel: [Apocalypse] Yeah, I didn't think so. Look, to be honest, I'm just
making things up as I go along at this point...
> Sailor Mercury struggled but there was nothing she could do, Juggernaut
was
> too strong for her, in seconds Apocalypse turned himself into an energy
> cloud that entered the girl's body,
Crow: [Apocalypse] I'm potporri!
Tom: Wait a minute-why is the Juggernaut even working for Apocalypse?
Joel: Try not to worry about it too much... we left logic behind a long
time ago.
> Sailor Mercury screamed when she saw the light coming at her, then
there
> was blackness and peace...
>
> -Put me down I'm inside of her now.
Crow: [Juggernaut] Way too much information, sir.
> -Yes my Lord.
>
> The huge man released the girl, now with Apocalypse in possession of
her
> body.- In the throne room the Sailor Scouts were happy to have Sailor
Chibi
> Moon back, seeing that their enemy was gone they decided to leave the
ship,
> Sailor Jupiter took her communicator to call Sailor Mercury.
>
> -Sailor Mercury, this is Sailor Jupiter where are you ?
>
> -I'm in the control room...what is it ?
Tom: [Jupiter] Well, I'd assume that it's a room where the controls to the
ship are kept... look, do we really have time for this?
> -We have to go back, Sailor Chibi Moon is OK but she and Sailor Moon
need
> some rest.
>
> -What do you want me to do ?
>
> -Join us of course, we need you to teleport back to the hotel
Tom: [Mercury] Er, didn't we take the Blackbird here?
Joel: [Jupiter] Well, yeah, but we kind of can't remember where we parked
the darn thing, so...
> -OK, I'm on my way.
>
> -mmm...there is something strange with her... -Thought Sailor Jupiter
Minutes later the girls combined their powers and returned to the hotel,
none the less Sailor Mars sensed something strange when they combined their
powers back in the ship, she decided to talk with Mina about it.
* Mina...I felt something strange one Amy when we returned from the ship...
> -What ?
>
> -I...I'm not sure about what it was...but it was just like if there was
> something else besides her..
>
> -You think she may be in danger ?
>
> -I hope not but I'll watch her closely...
Tom: [Rei] Lucky for me I had that peephole into her bathroom installed...
heh heh heh...
> Later that day Rei was walking in the hallway when she heard voices in
> Amy's room.
Crow: Of course, until the medication kicks in, Rei hears voices
everywhere...
> -LEAVE ME ALONE ! !
>
> -Forget it child...you belong to me until I decide to let you go.
>
> The black haired girl runned towards the room and opened the door.
* AMY ! !
The blue haired girl turned around slowly.
> -Wha...what ?
>
> -You OK ? I heard screams...
>
> -uh...it...it was...the TV...
>
> Rei noticed that the power cable wasn't plugged in.
>
> -Amy...if you have any trouble you know you can count on
us...especially
> me...Amy...you...
Crow: That's a nasty stutter she's developing...
Tom: The fanfic's finally getting to her. The poor girl's falling apart.
> you're like a sister to me...I care for you more that anything in the
> world...
>
> D...Don't worry Rei...e...everything is...is...OK..
Tom: Say, what color is Rei's hair again?
Joel: Well, uh...
Crow: Er...
> The black haired girl walked out and closed the door,
All: OH!
Tom: Jeez, I'd completely forgotten!
Crow: Thank you, fanfic!
> she stood against it
> for a few seconds, enough time to hear Amy cry, she decided to leave
her
> alone, then she walked back to her room where she started a fire and
used
> her knowledge to find out what was bothering Amy, what she saw shocked
her.
>
> -No...NO ! ! Why she...why ?
Crow: [Rei] Duh... gah?
> Meanwhile Jean also sensed something and was sharing it with Professor
> Xavier.
Crow: [snickers]
Tom: You know, if Cyclops ever hears about this he's gonna throw a fit...
> -Professor, I have sensed very unusual vibes on Sailor Mercury since
we
> returned from Apocalypse's ship.
>
> Closing his eyes Professor Xavier made mental contact with Sailor
> Mercury...what he saw shocked him...
>
> -No...imposible...
>
> -What is it Professor ?
>
> -Apocalypse...he possessed her...every minute that passes he becomes
more
> and more bonded with her...
>
> -What do you suggest ?
>
> -We must call their leader immediately.
Joel: [Xavier] We haven't got a moment to lose! We've got to save her!
> Minutes later Serena was with them
Joel: [Xavier] Alright, we've got several minutes to lose, but that's it!
> and she couldn't believe the words of
> Professor Xavier.
>
> -But...there has to be a way to help her...
>
> Suddenly an explosion was heard, everyone runned out and saw Rei in the
> floor and Ami hovering above her, her eyes were red and she was glowing
> with energy.
Joel: [Xavier] I told you we didn't have a moment to lose, but noooo,
somebody just had to stop for ice cream on the way here...
> -Insolent fool...don't you understand that this body belongs to me now ?
>
> Rei tried to stand up but an energy blast knocked her back to the floor,
Tom: GASP No! She has the awesome power to shove people over!
Joel: If she isn't stopped, schoolyard bullies everywhere will be out of
a
job!
> seeing this Serena stood up in front of her.
>
> -STOP IT ! ! ! AMY ! ! ! YOU'RE INSIDE SOMEWHERE YOU HAVE TO FIGHT THIS
> EVIL ! ! YOU HAVE T...AHH ! !.
>
> Another energy blast knocked Serena against a wall,
Crow: [snickers] Some villains have death-rays... this guy's lucky to have
a
slight-inconvenience-ray, at best...
> simultaneously Sailor
> Jupiter and Sailor Venus combined their powers to attack Amy from
behind,
> the supprise attack allowed Amy to regain temporary control of herself,
in
> second she was Sailor Mercury, but Apocalypse was able to gain control
of
> her again, meanwhile the X-Men arrived, the first one to attack was
> Cyclops, he used his laser blast but Sailor Mercury repelled the attack
> with his aqua illusion, but from behind Wolverine kicked her down,
Tom: BOOT TO THE HEAD!
Joel: Now, Tom, that joke's been used more than enough as it is...
Tom: Yeah, but how often does it fit this well?
> once in
> the floor beast holded her and Professor Xavier used a psycho blast
that
> knocked the girl out,
Tom & Crow: [mimic screeching violins]
Joel: [Xavier] Oh god, mother, the blood!
> Serena turned into Sailor Moon and prepared her
> scepter, simultaneously Professor Xavier used his powers to attack
> Apocalypse, when the Professor gave her a signal Sailor Moon used her
Lunar
> healing, inside of Amy's mind the battle was fierce, she and professor
> Xavier were fighting Apocalypse.
Tom: Okay, that was... [counts to himself] ...thirteen lines in a row
without a period.
Joel: Doom's really pulling out all the stops for part four.
Crow: Me, I just wish part four would stop...
> -FOOLS ! ! ! YOU'LL NEVER STOP ME ! ! !
>
> -! !SHINE AQUA ILLUSION ! ! !
>
> The supprise attack diminished Apocalypse's energy
Crow: And also cured his hiccups!
Joel: Oh, well, I-huh?
> allowing Professor
> Xavier to contain him, that combined with Sailor Moon's Lunar healing,
> allowed them to stop the monster, in the end Xavier gave another signal
and
> Sailor Moon stopped her attack, Amy falled to the floor unconscious
Sailor
> Mars runned towards her.
>
> -Amy ! ! Answer me please ! !
>
> -I'm...OK...thanks...
Tom: [Sailor Moon] Oh, I'm so happy! Wait a minute-aren't you supposed to
be unconscious?
Crow: [Mercury] Well, I was...
> Later that day the X-Men went to the airport where the Black Bird was
ready
> to continue the travel.
Joel: [Cyclops] Well, troops, Apocalypse is still trapising around somewhere
in Sailor Mercury's mind, A half dozen of the most dangerous mutants on the
planet are loose in Japan, and the leftover Sentinels are probably tearing
Tokyo apart even as we speak... I'd call this our most successful mission
yet!
> -Professor, we want to thank you for your help.
>
> -No Sailor Moon, you were the one who helped us, I hope we can see each
> other again.
>
> Then he entered the Black Bird and the ship flew in the sky, from a
place
> away from there a green haired girl watched them leave with tears on
her
> eyes.
>
> -You love him, right Michiru ?
Joel: [disgusted] Of course she loves him. Everybody loves him. After all,
he's the great Wolverine! Not that I'm jealous or anything-why should I
be? Just because I couldn't even get a girl to look at me until my senior
year of high school...
> -Pluto...it was just...I don't know...I better go and think about this...
>
> Then she entered her car and drove away to an uncertain future.-
>
* The End.
[pause]
Tom: So. That's the end, huh?
Crow: Yep.
Joel: Guess so.
Tom: Sorta gets you right here, doesn't it?
Crow: Nope.
Joel: Not me.
Tom: Me neither. Let's go.
[Joel and the bots exit the theater.]
6...
5...
4...
3...
2...
1...
[Bridge of the SOL. Tom is trying to facefault again, while Crow looks on.
Joel enters from the left.]
Joel: Well, guys, I made the last phone call...
Tom: Last phone call to who?
Joel: You'll see.
[The Mads' light starts flashing.]
Joel: Great, the mads are calling. [hits the button.]
Crow: This is a good thing?
[Deep 13. Dr. F is standing in front of his latest semi-evil invention,
smirking. TV's Frank-complete with crutches, a neck brace, and an arm in
a
sling-is in the background off to one side, trying his best to look evil.]
Dr. F: Well, Joel? How was the fanfic today?
[SOL. Joel shrugs.]
Joel: Oh, not so bad. No self-insertion, no blatant destruction of the
fourth wall... the author even tried to get in some character subplots and
drama. It didn't work very well, but at least his heart was in the right
place.
Tom: Yeah... all in all, we've definitely had worse.
[Deep 13]
Dr. F: Oh, really? Well, I'm glad your day wasn't so bad... because
everyone else on the planet is suffering through hell on Earth!
Frank: Well, sir, Joel isn't actually on the planet, so saying 'everyone
else on the planet' isn't entirely accurate'-
Dr. F: Frank! I'm trying to make a point here!
Frank: Sorry, sir.
Dr. F: Rrrgh... anyway, boobies, the De-Literator is up and running! It
won't be long before entire civilizations crumble! And from the ashes of
this global disaster, I shall rise to power!
[SOL]
Crow: Uh-oh. That could be bad...
Tom: Joel?
Joel: Yes, Tom?
Tom: We're screwed, aren't we?
Joel: Don't worry, guys. I know things look bad, but I've made a few...
arrangements.
[Deep 13]
Dr. F: Ha! You're bluffing, Robinson! I've finally won, and you know it!
Nothing can stop me now! Absolutely noth-
[Dr. Forrester is cut off, as the back wall of Deep 13 is blasted apart by
something that looks suspiciously like a crescent beam. Tuxedo Mask and the
Sailor Senshi/Scouts enter through through the gaping hole it leaves.]
Dr. F: Oh, poopie.
Sailor Moon: Dr. Clayton Forrester! You aid the spread of bad fanfiction
across the internet, tarnishing the Senshi's good name! You trap people in
space and torture them for your own evil ends! You seek to dominate the
entire Earth!
Sailor Uranus: That, and you showed people a fanfic where I fall in love
with some hairball old enough to be my great-grandfather!
Sailor Moon: Right, that too! In the name of the moon, we will punish you!
Dr. F: Oh, that's nice... Frank?
Frank: Yes, your evilness?
Dr. F: RUN!
Sailor Jupiter: GET 'EM!
[TV's Frank and Dr. F run like hell off to the right. The Senshi give
chase.]
[SOL]
Crow: Whoa. Where did that come from?
Joel: Well, I just said to myself, "Joel, how would I feel if someone wrote
a fanfic this bad about me?" And, well, I'd feel like blasting something
to
bits! So, I called the stars of the fic and told them where to find Dr. F,
and...
Tom: Joel, I'm impressed! You're not as dumb as you look!
Joel: Thanks, Tom... HEY! Take that back!
Tom: Alright, you are as dumb as you look.
Joel: That's more like it... HEY!
[Deep 13. Another hole is blasted in the far wall, next to the one the
Senshi/Scouts made, and the X-men walk through.
Cyclops: Alright, Forrester, it's time for you to... hey, where is
everyone?
Tuxedo Mask: Sorry, you just missed 'em.
Iceman: You mean they started without us?
Tuxedo Mask: 'Fraid so.
Iceman: Damn. Wait a minute-why are you still here?
Tuxedo Mask: Well, I don't actually fight, per se-I throw roses at people
and give speeches. Besides, somebody had to get rid of the invention.
[Gestures to the still-activated De-Literator.]
Cyclops: Oh, right. [Blasts the machine apart with an optic blast.] Well,
that's that, I guess...
Frank: [O.S.] AIIIEEEE!!!
[TV's Frank and Dr. F run across the screen, dodging lightning bolts,
crescent beams, lightning bolts, fire, soap bubbles, and the occassional
glowing yellow frisbee.]
Dr. F: Faster, Frank! They're gaining!
Frank: But don't you want me to push the bu-
Dr. F: FORGET ABOUT THE STUPID BUTTON!
[SOL. Crow checks under the counter.]
Crow: Woohoo! Our TV Guides are back!
Tom: Alright! Quick, to the TV!
Joel: You know, guys, as long as the De-Literator's been destroyed, there's
a lot of really great, classic books here you might wanna read...
Crow: [not paying attention] Hurry, Tom! 'Obliterator XII' is playing on
UPN! And after that they're showing 'When Animals Attack, Part 5'!
Joel: [sighs] Why do I even bother...
[Deep 13. Sailor Moon and company charge across the screen after Dr. F.]
Sailor Moon: Hey! How are we supposed to punish you if you won't hold still
long enough for us to do our attack routines!
Angel: Well, time to give the kiddies a hand...
Phoenix: Right, we're off! By the way, Joel, thanks again for warning us
about that fanfic. Who writes these things, anyway?
[SOL]
Joel: [shrugs] Sometimes I think we're better off not knowing.
[Deep 13]
Cyclops: Alright, X-men, let's move! [the X-men get ready to run off-screen]
[SOL]
Joel: Hey, aren't you forgetting something?
[Deep 13]
Cyclops: Hmm? Oh, right. Push the button, Hank.
[The Beast hops over and hits the button.]
FWOOOSH!
Iceman: [O.S.] Hey, tux, the blonde with the scepter's your girlfriend, right?
Tuxedo Mask: [O.S.] Yeah...
Iceman: [O.S.] Doesn't it bother you that she goes out in public in a skirt that short?
SMACK
Iceman: [O.S.] Ow!
