Tornado is copyright 1996/97 Aaron (Tornado) Thall
Jubilee is a registered trademark of Marvel Comics Entertainment Group, and is used without permission.
The concept of Mystery Science Theater is copyrighted by some weirdoes in Minnesota.
No money is made from this Spamfic, and no harm is intended (unless you are a spammer, in which case I advise you to lock your doors and windows, cause I do weird things at night to those who annoy me).
Please visit the Tornado and Jubilee website at www.fnk.com/Tornado
Massachusetts Academy, Snow Valley, Massachusetts...
Two teenagers sit down to relax for the first time in a long while. In real life, their names are Aaron Thall and Jubilation Lee, but to the world at large, they are Tornado and Jubilee.
Aaron: "So Jube, what are we doing again?"
Jubilee: "It’s called a MSTie. Ya just listen ta somethin’ an make comments."
Aaron: "I see..."
Jubilee:"No ya don’t."
Aaron: "You know me too well Jube."
Jubilee: "Just follow my lead."
Subject: vacation
Jubilee: "Then leave already!"
Aaron: I get it! You humiliate the guy!"
Jubilee: "Bingo!"
From: jnb
Aaron: "Jake Nips Butts?"
Jubilee: "Nice start."
Message-ID: <32f9622d.0@nt.dave-world.net
Jubilee: "Where’s my weekly column?!"
HELLO
Aaron: "Goodbye!"
IF THIS INFORMATION IS NOT OF VALUE TO YOU. WE APOLOGIZE FOR THE INTRUSION.
Jubilee: "We knew you were sorry long before you told us this."
JUST HIT REPLY, TYPE SAVE IN SUBJECT, YOU WILL RECEIVE NO FURTHER MAILINGS FROM OUR COMPANY.
THANK YOU
Aaron: "THERE IS A GOD!!!! I BELIEVE!!!!!"
YOUR BEST VACATION CAN BE YOURS. ONLY $15.00
Aaron: "Or you could hide in the baggage department of a plane headed to Hawaii..."
(Jubilee begins to laugh so hard that she has to cover her face with a cushion.)
HOW & WHY DO WE OFFER THIS VACATION PACKAGE?
Jubilee: "To needlessly waste our time?"
JUST LIKE THE CASINOS IN LAS-VEGAS,THEY OFFER FREE ROOMS.
Aaron: "And cockroaches, and rats, and slot machines from Hell, and..."
THEY KNOW YOU WILL SPEND SOME MONEY WHILE YOU ARE THEIR.
Jubilee: "Any amount to have Barney’s head displayed on a stick!"
Aaron: "Lame one, but I share the sentiment."
WE ALSO THIS. WE ALSO KNOW YOU WILL TELL OTHER’S.
Both: "Yeah. RI-I-GHT!!!"
ENJOY YOUR THREE-DAY/TWO-NIGHT VACATION A THE FOLLOWING PREMIER RESORT LOCATION.
Jubilee: "TIMBUCKTOO!!!!!"
LUXURY WALT DISNEY WORLD RESORT AREA.
Together: "M-I-C-K-E-Y L-O-S-E-R!!!!"
AS A SPECIAL PROMOTION WE ARE OFFERING 1 BEDROOM RESORT CONDOS WITH FULL RESORT AMENITIES.
Aaron: "GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY!!!"
PLUS FREE SHUTTLE TO DISNEY
Aaron: "LOOK OUT! THE CHALLENGER’S GHOST!!!"
(Jubilee rolls her eyes in reply.)
CONTINENTAL BREAKFAST FOR THE ENTIRE FAMILY.
Jubilee: "Of mice."
ALSO OVER $300.00 IN ENTERTAINMENT COUPONS.
Jubilee: "It’s entertaining watching as stupid people pay twice as much on the coupons as what they will save!"
DUE TO THE OVERWHELMING RESPONSE OF THIS OPPORTUNITY.
Aaron: "In favor of strangling you and forcing you to kiss Barney on the lips in public with only your underwear on."
ONLY ONE RESERVATION PER FAMILY.
Jubilee: "Good. I don’t want all of us to suffer."
OFFER EXPIRES 02/28/97
Aaron: "And not a moment too soon!"
SEND PAYMENT TO
CHECK OR MONEY ORDER
Aaron: "NAAAA!!! I’d set fire to my wallet first! It would cost less too!"
JOHN BAGOSY
Jubilee: "Baggy? Two words for ya: Jenny Craig!"
2015 TRACY DR. SUITE #3
Jubilee: "Doc Sweet? I hope he ain’t a dentist! My dentist’s name is Dr. Paine, and his competition’s name is Dr. Turn-your-mouth-into-a-bloody-pulp-and-charge-you-a-lot-of-money."
BLOOMINGTON,
Aaron: "Great comic strip. GO OPUS!!!"
IL
Aaron: "You had to be to send this."
6
Jubilee: "Bob Dole’s social security number!"
1704
Aaron: "The year of the spam’s death!"
MIDWEST MARKETING DIRECTOR.
Jubilee and Aaron in perfect unison: "What Markets at midnight!"
WE THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME.
Jubilee: "You are not welcome!"
ENJOY YOUR VACATION PACKAGE
Jubilee: "I would if I actually believed a little bit of this piece of sh*t!!!"
Aaron: "That was a little mean Jube."
Jubilee: "I know."
Aaron: "Good to know Jube, good to know..."
Aaron(Tornado)Thall