Okay, this is my first Subreality Cafe story...I hope you all enjoy it, I certainly did writing it.

The Juggernaut sat alone at one of the stools in the Subreality Cafe. Actually, It wasn't really the Juggernaut, but the large, plastic version of him from Curlew's Remembrance. The plastic duplicate was one of several villains that Emma Frost defeated trying to save Bobby Drake from his own mind.

"What'll it be buddy?" the Bartender asked. He/she was always present at the Subreality Cafe, the place where fanfic characters went in-between stories, or if their authors weren't using them at the time.

"I'll have a Pink Squirrel, an' hey -- whose the broad singin' on stage?" Juggernaut said, hooking his large thumb at the attractive blonde on stage, wearing a low-cut 1940s dress covered in golden sparkles. Her chin-length hair, flowing in strawberry-blonde waves down to her jaw, was pulled back behind one ear and supported by a large Argentine rose.

"Huh? Oh, that's Pearl -- she's been here all the time, she's the entertainment."

"How come I haven't seen her in here before? I was in here almost every day last month when Curlew had writer's block."

"Oh," said the Bartender, looking for a clean glass under his/her counter, "that's easy. Ya see, Pearl really hasn't been here the entire time, just for this story so far. You remember when Curlew's computer went down? Well all of his old reports on the hard drive and some background pictures all got mixed together along with another Subreality Cafe story -- creating the essence of Pearl."

"HAW! Sounds like one a' Elizabeth Taylor's Perfumes -- The Essence of Pearl..."

"Ya, ya, anyway, Pearl was then created for this story, but because she works at the Cafe, she's always been here. It's like that whole Rachel is really Summers and Grey's kid come back from the future, but a different future where none of what's happening ever happened because Kitty Pride came back and stopped it. No matter how many times you read it, it still gives you a headache."

"Oh, that...doesn't make any sense," said the Juggernaut as he turned on his stool to look again at Pearl, singing an older jazz song from the late thirties and early forties. "So, really, she's new here, huh?"

"No," said the Bartender, moving over to serve a version of Scott Summers, only this one with a beard, full body leather, and several tattoos going up his exposed arms. "She's been working here since the Cafe opened."

"This is really giving me a headache..."

"Exactly."

*Fever*
*You give me fever when you kiss me*
*Fever when you hold me tight*
*Fever in the morning*
*Fever all through the night*
*Sun lights up the daytime*
*Moon lights up the night*
*I light up when you call my name*
*And you know I'm going to treat you right*

Juggernaut looked around the crowding Cafe. There were characters sitting at every other space in the place. Several different versions of Rogue and Gambit filling the booths at the far end of the building, a group of Wolverines joking in the corner by the seldom-used pinball machines, and at least one Siku at each table, each one a different age.

"Gotta figure that," Juggy thought to himself, "the girl's got a bigger following than most real characters."

"Hi Mr. Juggernaut," came a chipper chirp on his left. Turning his large bulk around, Juggernaut looked down to see a light-colored blur taking up the stool next to him. "How are you, sir?"

"Hi Cassie, could be better, how's life for you, kid?" Cassie Billings was Susan B.'s creation, but because we haven't seen her yet, she didn't have a concrete form, so she kept changing.

"I'm okay. I just love coming here since Pearl started singing -- she really pulls in a crowd for a Tuesday morning."

"I thought that she's been here forever, like the Bartender, or the Bouncer."

"She has, but not since last Tuesday."

"Can I have an aspirin with my drink?" the Juggernaut asked, turning back to the bartender.

"Sorry," he/she said. "If we gave away headache suppressants here, the boss would be bankrupt in a day."

*Fever*
*You give me fever*
*Fever when you hold me tight*
*Fever in the morning*
*Fever all through the night*
*Everybody's got the Fever*
*Everybody's got the Fever*
*Everybody's got the Fever*
*Everybody's got the Fever*

As Pearl finished her song, the Cafe erupted into a pandemonium of shouts, applauds, and cheers (which lasted for several minutes longer than it should have -- the Muppets were in that morning, and didn't know when to stop).

As Juggernaut turned back to his drink, he felt a soft touch on his shoulder. "Hello, stranger, I haven't seen you in here before, and I've been working here since the joint opened."

Juggernaut swiveled around to come face-to-face with Pearl. Well, actually he came face-to-air -- Pearl's head was around his rib cage. Looking down, Juggernaut saw Pearl's large violet eyes staring back at his.

"I...ahh...I haven't been in here for about a month."

"Oh," said Pearl, bumping Cassie off of the stool next to Juggernaut and sitting on it, "that would explain it, I was only created last Tuesday." Suddenly, a small green creature with two large feet, wild unruly pink hair, and yellow teeth appeared, ran across the bar laughing and disappeared.

"What was that?" asked the plastic remake.

"Running gag -- 'my creation' joke. Get used to him, we'll use that joke a lot."

For the third time that day, the Juggernaut's eyes glazed over as he tried again to process that information. Seeing that Juggy was confused, Pearl turned to the Bartender, ordered a mocha (knowing she would be there for a while), and tried to explain."Okay, look, did you ever read the Age of Apocalypse?"

"No."

"Lucky you. Now, David Haller went back in time to kill Magneto, but really killed his father, okay? So Time ended, but only so many odd years later, when the X-Men were already formed -- you following me?"

"Yeeeessss."

"Good, now, one would think that the second he was killed, everything would change, but instead, the change only came so many years later, and worked backwards. You still with me?

"Yes..."

"'Marvel'ous (I know -- a cheap pun). So what I'm getting to is that although I've only been here since last Tuesday, I was created by Curlew to always be here if needed in other SC stories, so in actuality, I'm also fan fiction, but still a worker at the Cafe -- so I'm not fan fiction. Got it?

"No."

"All right, look, I'm here now, and I'm not going anywhere, okay?"

"Right...got it...look, I...ahh...I gotta run, go talk to my boss about a cameo in another story...umm...bye...see you, ahh, see you soon." With that the Juggernaut jumped off of the stool (causing a 2.3 on the Richter scale, and Gonzo to drop his drink) and was out the door faster than a ferret on a double mocha.

Pearl slowly followed the Juggernaut outside, to where the Bouncer was watching a small dust cloud (similar to the Roadrunner's) disappear into the darkness.

"Confused another one, didn't you?" the Bouncer asked, turning toward Pearl, and extending his arm out.

"Yeah," said Pearl, looping her arm around his, "am I the only person that this is making sense to?"

"Nooooooo, actually, I understand it perfectly."

"Really?" said Pearl as they walked back into the Cafe, arm in arm. "Why don't you join me for a drink and you can help me explain it to Siku again..."

"Which one?"

*Now you've listened to my story*
*Here's the point that I have made*
*Chicks were meant to give you fever*
*Fahrenheight to centigrade*
*Fever if you kiss them*
*Fever if you live and learn*
*Fever if you sizzle*
*What a lovely way to burn*
*What a lovely way to burn*
*What a lovely way to burn*
*What a lovely way to burn*

A few notes:

A pink squirrel is a type of alcoholic beverage. Once, in a moment of true family bonding, my grandmother tried to teach me how to make one. (I was only 14 at the time; we put the fun in dysfunctional...)

Siku belongs to Darqstar/the Muppets used to belong to Henson Productions, but now are property of Disney
Cassie Billings was created by Susan B.
The 'biker' Scott was only created for this story to act as a visual pun
Marvel owns most of the other characters...I hope I didn't miss anybody...I don't know who owns Fever, but it was sang by Peggy Lee in 1940 something and written by a Davenport and Cooley, produced by Fort Knox Music Inc.
Trio Music Company courtesy of Capitol Records, Inc. under license from CEMA Special Markets. (I have no idea what this all means!)

Also, one last note. Should anyone like to 'borrow' Pearl for a future story, GO FOR IT!, but please e-mail me and tell me (I'd love to read it when it's up!)