-- S.K., 2/14/00
I've had the good fortune to participate in many different fanfic communities over the years, and what they gave to me is priceless -- a sense of self-worth and confidence that allowed me to become far more open in real life. Going to a private school for most of my life, the atmosphere was oppressive, and I didn't make many close friends. Because of the online community, I was able to assert myself and meet some people who shared my interests, hobbies, and concerns. In my final year of high school, I was finally happy with my social life -- I finally had a lot of friends who truly cared about me, both on and offline.
If I'd never stepped into an IRC chatroom, I have no doubt I would have never found the confidence to be who I really was. I'm in college now, and I'm having a blast. I've also met more than half of my 'online friends' and phone them constantly. I even visited Edmonton to see a bunch of writers four times last year (1999) alone. My parents weren't too happy with the idea to begin with, but once they met my friends, it was just like knowing someone who lived farther away. Meeting them didn't change anything about our relationship aside from giving the voices and the words a face.
I know that I would never be able to be the person I am today without the aid and comfort of the online communities I'm an active part in.
-- Lise Williams, 2/24/00
You can feel free to use this email in any shape or form for an example on your site if you so wish. Here's my own little experience on the importance of the 'net:
It's so nice having a sane voice to direct people to...although, while a majority of the genre is younger kids, like teens and college age, there are those of us who are older than that, like myself. What about a page for spouses?
My ex-husband oftentimes threatened to take away my 'net access because I didn't want to go to car shows or out to bars with him and his friends -- and he almost always came up with excuses why we couldn't do things I liked, and why I couldn't drive across town to visit my friends ("need the car in a bit", "not enough gas money" etc) and nagged me constantly about phone bills whenever I was on the phone with a friend (even if they were they ones calling or otherwise footing the bill).
It occurred to me that there might be other people out there -- men and women alike, who are married to what might perhaps be an otherwise wonderful spouse but they just can't understand this little fanfic/creative obsession of ours. Example, my ex and his friends constantly "teased" me that all my time online was really spent cybering or talking to my "boyfriends." I wish I knew who all these boyfriends were, one of 'em might be better than my ex ::smirks:: -- or looking at/reading porn, etc, the trash that THEY would do online.
Online friendships DO mean something -- whether they be male or female. My best friend and "brother" who I've met through RPGing Marvel online in AOL quite literally saved my life. I was in a state of constant deep depression recently for about two years, and he stayed up so many nights with me talking me through the worst spots and helping me hold on when I only wanted to die. This June when I was about to have a nervous breakdown, he arranged his schedule so I could fly out and stay with him for a week of much-need recuperation and rest.
We'd never met face-to-face before, but it didn't matter. If I hadn't had my 'net access and met him, I probably would not be alive now. (I'm doing much better between him and finally finding a doc who listened to me and put me on antidepressants.)
Being completely deaf, I find it so hard to "get out and socialize with real people", because it's so hard for me to understand people when they talk -- and unless they already know me well, they're not inclined to take the time to aid in communications.
Just a thought,
Zanne, 11/12/00
