We can't tell you how to raise your child, and we wouldn't dream of it. And of course, every situation is different! However, we do feel that parents, both as members of a generation who did not grow up with the Internet and, often, as people who regard the more creative members of their brood as, well, a bit "strange," often harbor misconceptions that paint their view of their child's online social life in a bad light. We'd like to try to dispell misconceptions and redirect misguided complaints...

NOTE: Also linked to this page are some comments and testimonials, an idea started by Indigo, who came up with the idea for this site. Some are from her, some will be from proponents from other ficdoms. Most of these additions relate to specific fanfic "communities" as opposed to writers as a whole, but they are thought-provoking and worth a read. Click "More Information" links if you're interested...

WARNING! Although some of these misconceptions may make you feel as if you are being shown in a bad light, we understand that these comments are not representative of all parents. However, we have heard them all. If none of the "complaints" below sound like they would ever come from you, simply disregard.

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"This online thing is a sad, twisted substitute for real life."
If your child is a regular in a writer group/forum, it's probably safe to say that he or she may have difficulty with social skills in real life -- they may be a loner, or only have a few close friends, and probably spend a lot of their offline time writing, sketching, or reading. It is not right, however, to blame this "lack" on their Internet connections. Many of us older writers were just like your child when we were younger. Before the Internet existed. Cutting your child off from online friends (who may be some of their only friends!) will not make them suddenly bloom, become popular, and win sports trophies. They are who they are, there is nothing wrong with it, and all you are doing is making them feel even more miserable and isolated.

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"The people my child meets online aren't real friends."
What is your definition of a friend? True, many websurfers are only in search of a quick thrill -- however, this is not true of creative communities. Some come and go, of course, but others stay in touch literally for years, sharing ideas, thoughts, personal anecdotes, calls for help, and more until some of us feel closer than family. We may not seem "real" to you, but we are as real as you are, and we do care for each other. We offer advice and a laugh and a shoulder to cry on for your child...and whereas we may not be a substitute for a real live shoulder, sometimes on a bad day the comfort of a close-knit chatroom or mailing list is enough to pick up your child's spirits -- enough for him/her to go forth and handle real life.

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"If my kid is so 'talented,' why does s/he waste time on this fanfic crap?"
*sigh* We hear this one all the time, at any age. To get to the heart of it: "fanfic" is short for "fan fiction," which is the slang term for stories written about popular media. TV shows, movies, comic books, all are prone to be fanficced. Why do we do it? Well...because we enjoy it. Writing fanfic is also a good "warm-up" for original stories; many if not all fanfic writers do write original work as well, and use fanfic both as an outlet for ideas that we can't use otherwise. And some of us (myself included) actually are professional writers who use fanfic feedback to improve our work in general.

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"It's kinda creepy that you 'adults' want to 'be friends' with my child..."
Age doesn't matter online. Nor do real names, race, gender, or whatever else. The only thing we care about is how a person comes across in writing, and we're willing to bet that your kid is more mature and interesting than many older people! We were kids ourselves once, some not all that long ago, and we remember desperately wanting to be treated according to our mental age, not our physical age. Out of politeness we don't ask how old our members are; however, we know some of them are younger and we do try to behave accordingly. Here's where you can help us to protect your child: please encourage him or her to be truthful about their age. There's no stigma attached to being young around here, and many of us would be horribly embarrassed if we found out that a mature topic had been discussed in front of a minor. Also, please note that a high percentage of us are in your child's age range -- teenagers and young college students are big fanficcers.

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"But my son/daughter really is neglecting homework and such to be online!"
Heh! We understand perfectly. When you're raising a daydreamer, there's nothing wrong with a little grounding now and then -- for a week, perhaps, or until after that big test. Websurfing can be addictive, and sometimes a balance must be struck between the net and reality, as you might allot TV hours. As long as you try to understand what the writing community means to your child and treat their access to it in a fair, wise manner, we applaud your parenting. If your child is indeed abusing the sensible limits you have set, we have no quarrel with you at all. What we are aghast at is how some parents use the threat of outright Internet bans to control their children, or snatch it away on a moment's notice and callously fail to understand what a cruel punishment they have inflicted.

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